worlds-clints-penis-game-4-trs-in-1
Title: worlds-clints-penis-game-4-trs-in-1
Author: Paul "lbmyers1" Myers
Date: Oct 9, 2000
Game 1: I am rated 1781 going in.
My DS SYC Scum vs. John Patchell-1880- TRMs
So I go and fetch DS War room and draw the JP in my pile. his turn he drops nudge and draws like every other TRM. My turn I drop like JP and AC and draw some aliens. His turn, he goes for nudge and can’t find it, i verify to see heavy SAC and he draws some more and drops Tantive 4&melas to DS. My turn I twilek for DoDN and Scum with 2 twileks(i added a lot). Drop Z in MH and scum, Jabba the Hutt to AC, and battle him, I always SAC my Odds killer before i battle to make sure i retrive the full amount, and get S&D. I retreive 3 and draw...a 5! He loses both and goes. the rest of the game is him trying to deploy mains and me playing None shall pass and using S&D afterwards. At the end, he drops Jedi luke to DS Docking bay9NEVER DO THIS!!!) for S&D against my djas. he fights, we both draw a 1. my turn i drop a guy and first strike, initiate and retrive. So i battle luke some, retrieving a lot for his mistake. and win by 28 to have to play bastian.
Game 2
Bastian’s trooper ROPS that suck a big one vs my LS
his deck sux, I can’t believe i lost to it. My flaw is not finding a single friggin CC site, so i can’t outdrain him. the funnny thing is, i keep counting up his power at ralttiir sites and he always reinforces each site with troopers, LOL. So, I drop beggar and DTF but can’t get enough force beatdown because of reacts, so i finally draw CC Guest quarters and drop 3 eloms. he tactical supports for 3 trooops, like irol-barich-and something, i can’t remember. anyways, the 3 are really good but my eloms are power 15 each, he somehow beatsdown my 3 eloms with imps??? But he did it to praskac for like 31 force on turn 3 so i don’t feel to bad. I can’t knock him off raltiir for the life of me! So he wins with drains of 1. sucky, unbelievable. loss by 22 or so?
ok, i am really sketchy from here on out so bear with my lack of detail.
game 3:
My LS against a BHBM.
I play like an idiot, he monnoks me for 6 eloms and 3 take me to jabbas now and i lose them but flip profit so no problem there, just slowing me down. neither of us commit to a site and he has his whole deck activated. i drop epp leia to her hutt and 2 eloms to cc: carb chamber and move leia over, i can do like 4 a turn from the 1 friggin site so thats cool. next turn, he drops dlots and stick and then drE, etc. you do the math, elom vs. vader and crew=a ton of force. Irrecoverable if that’s a word. loss by like 10 to a guy i coulda beat but my impatience makes me lose. We both literally activated entire decks just did nothing saying pass till my impatience made me commit...loss by 10.
game 4:
my scum against joe olson HB fake and tat. DBs celebration.
can’t remember this game. oh yah, it was JOE olson i remember. he won like portland GS and more so he’s pretty good! I find my JP and drop it and DS war room with AC and jabba. And bane out at JP with jabba inside and S&D. He tries to deploy ben and massa inside but NSPass works. he never puts out ships to tat.? So he puts ben/stick, jedi luke/stick, and chewbaccaw/ gun at a single DB. i am like ok, take the site. JUST KIDDING!!! THIS IS FRIGGIN SCUM! I drop iggy, 4lom, dre, djas, and one more, initiate, get back 3 he loses 1. did i mention i put traffic contreol 3 5’s back? He actually plays fallen portal on my 4lom and dre. Which is so freakin perfect. so with iggy and djas, i send chewie to used, he hits one, I draw 5&5. CAn anyone tell me what the forfeit on Ben and jedi luke is again? Oh yah, i remembered...it’s 9&9. he loses both, i and can’t recover. i never saw a ship or celebration. bottom line. but joe’s a cool guy and nice and plays well too, just a horible match-up, but i think he knows the power of Scum now. i win by 10-20ish?
Game 5:
My elom vs. kids bhbm
chime for bothan spy. my eloms are power 5 each and 5 of them=power 25 against sim at the "Safe" DS2 DB. I draw 5 and he draws 1. i raped him, period win by 20ish
Game 6:
My LS vs and Celbration HB fakeout? friend of Joe’s, same deck, different story. This guy didn’t play better than go or anything though. He just put Home 1 and GS1 w/ lando and nien numb and wedge and RS 1 at tat. system. How the heck can my 3 BHunter ships kill that? After that my 2 iggys stay in my deck, and when i FINALLY draw 1, i can’t find a masterful move or reactor terminal for my 6 destinies, so ben and jedi luke w/ sticks slowly move into thje AC for a drain of 4. and celebration the entire game. What can i freakin do? Iggy is my only chance and both are in my deck, sigh. he wins by 20 or so. i can’t belive i lost to the same deck that i easily killed earlier. unbelievable.
Game 7:
my LS elom vs. a random guy.
ok, sorry everybody but i have no remembrance of this game WHATSOEVER. i don’t even know if i won. it was ’probably’ another BHBM cuz those were friggin everywhere. my ls played overall against 3 bhbm and 1 trooper rops. that’s the world’s meta if you will. i won i am pretty sure now that i think about it.
Game 8:
My ds scum against some guy playing my exact LS except even suckier and with chadra fan. Chadra fan sucks a big one so this was easy. i put gailid in the AC the entire game after he plays bo shuda. point man obliterates his OTE so he never retreives han. he goes to CC where my scum does what it should. I be retrieving 3 and he lose 1. chadra officialy suck, no questions ask. win by like 15.
So i am 4-4. James barret and art went 4-4, i woulda loved to make day 2 but it didn’t happen. boo hoo. so i play a fun game with Neal Razi and he is really nice. I am not a fan of his dreadlocks, but if you want a cool game of SW with a really nice person, go to him. I gave him decks and we play 1 with me edging out because of the match-ups. he pulls some really cool hyper escapes though. hehe, h hyper escape to my DS for a drain of 5, POOP! not to suck up to neal or anything but he’s just really nice. so me and him go to a decipher room somewhere in the hotel to listen to them talk about jedi knights. not to bad but i am in for a Jap sealed deck so i leave.
Jap sealed deck:
I am freakin LS like ALWAYS!!! Sealed decks=4. Ls all 4 times. unbelievably gay. so we open packs and I get New hope Wedge who looks cool.
Game 1: we both are draining but arcona puts me ahead. He loses an it’s worse off top of reserve to a drain, so who packs friggin 2...right? well, i ICBW his next drain of 2 and it’s worse for like 10 or so and that’s my chance of winning a BB Hoth Japanese set. sigh.
Game 2: This guy is true retard. he starts cantina, and he won’t let me change my SL to from Y4 war room to Mos Eisley. 1st turn baru and rebel guard go to cantina. His turn he draws. my turn, i drain and get 4 ability and droid for forfeit. His turn prophetess comes and dies. my turn reinforce some more, and put kessel and an xwing down. the rest of the turns he activates and draws all till he dies cuz he is retarded. win by 28.
game 3: he starts holo table. and drops ghhk first turn. my turn drop grimtaash and battle. he loses 1. his turn, he drops destiny 3 Ngok, and i lose grimmy and 4. so i drop all over tat with characters to outdrain and comes back. and lose my only kessel off top to a drain on 5th turn. how sucky?? the game i need it most. he stalls me on ground w/ attacks and stops drains for a couple turns, i kill all his guys with tracked 6s and rop kashyyk and ships. he puts ships in front to slow me. he stalled too many drains of mine and i lose by 6. i find out Neal made his deck for him, titled Gameboard beats, haha. hilarious. neal told the kid to start the table and wait for the bbeatdown, he was right.
game 4: bye, poop, why do the DS drop if they’re better?
So we pick up prize support. pack of reflections and pack of hoth jap. So i pick mine up and so does the guy beside me. I open my pack to get a foil haven. he opens his for a foil Darth vader. why stuff like this happens i don’t know?
So it’s Saturday and the 12 guys are duking it out. I play in tourney 3:
JPSD, the stupiddest possible thing ever. This tourneys highlight was the twigg beside me who gets to be LS and is #1 in world for sealed deck. He loses his 1st game by like 20, HAHA!!! HILARIOUS!!! My ds loses all games except when i drop my Jquille beadown in game 3 to win by 10. hehe jquille is a god in sealed deck!
first matt screams BHBM IS AUTO-WIN!!! I LosT TO YANNICKE WITH NO LUKE IN DECK!!! next, matt sokol set for stuns Raphael Asselins Jedi test dude so matt comes out, like geoff said all hyper on caffeine and pumped up and screaming I PLAYED SET FOR STUN, SET FOR STUN I SAID, SET FOR STUN!!! So me and sokol and twigg are waiting at the door and juz comes out and tells matt he’s in the final with yannicke. he runs off with a twigg screaming and annying everyone alive. Yannick hears it and probably just quietly thanked his Fungi(sp?) god? I guess its an inside joke with quebecers. so i talk to kyle craft a ton and he amazes me. he plays day 1,2,and 3 with the same TRM and ROPS, unbelievable. he came in 3rd overall, quite amazing. he told me he obliterated bastian at the end of day 2 with his own rops to keep bastian out of dday 2, lol. he lost to bastian’s ROPS earlier and was ticked. so he wasted bastian which is funny. he told me he had clint’s # but never got to play against him.
So time for the final confrontation.
Game 1: Matt’s HB X-wing with inserts vs. Yannick’s BHBM
Matt has no luke as you’ve probably heard a million times. and plays like a scrub. I am sitting beside Lewis and clint and they are both in shock that those 2 decks were in the finals. Clint shows me both his decks, his DS Biker scout rops has cards colored black to screw your oppionents mind....he colored in DLOTS and Mara... Well, i don’t know what to say. his ls is the same as Matt sokol’s but twice as good. Steven shows me his decks since he is D-Qed(gotta post that 3-game tr Seven ;) and for day 1 nhe has a sweet court deck with his own tech that he probably doesn’t want to have shared or he would’ve posted it. so no more talk on that. right before the game starts, CLint is 2 seats to my left. And RAdio free decipher is on the left side of room, so clint says while they’re recording really loud: "Joe Alread SUCKS!" joe looks over and it’s hilarious, but the fun is just beginning and the penis game hasn’t started. Game 1:
Matt plays like a scrub by this: He’s got 3 droids and a #s in his hand. He has spiral at kessel. He puts the 3 droids at the endor DB instead of on spiral. One get’s snipered and 1 gets force lightninged. unbelievable. So the insert comes up and Matt has 4 from a droid to yannicks 3. and yannick loses 1...sigh. Yannick gets S&D and your destiny going. He satisfies Honor like he needs to with a dreadnaught and epp fett in space. WHO PLAYS EPP FETT??? So matt puts 8 xwings and OTE in front of the Dreadnaught. Yannick battles and plays projective telepathy to cancel it. Cool. soooooo, yannick wins by 20.
Game 2: sokol’s ISB walker <>sites with ORS and sandwhirl vs yannicks: DBs of Endor and CC for jedi luke and ben. Starting MWYHL to make his mains immune <like 8 or something.
-penis game time- Clint calls Gary Carmen and talks to him about "a new american game" called the penis game. So gary is so funny cause he’s enjoying his last minutes of being world champ and screaming PENIS! Clint and a guy behind me start playing again. and in a 5 second period of time during silence, clint pushes the limit and literally screams PENIS! Ask anyone who watched it, everyone heard it and it was hilarious. Unfortunately, Mark tuttle calls down clint and a decipher employee comes over where we are sitting and clint is escorted outside officially losing the penis game.
Back tot he game. MAtt converges a bunch of walkers and 2 ORS to 1 DB!!! why?? he limits his drains...why? yannicke plays on/off the edge numerous times but can’t keep up with ORS drains. so matt is not to good representin’ the US. matt has drawn to 17 cards. Yannicke can draw out and asks Juz if he can draw out. Just as juz is answering clint screams penis so i have no idea what Juz said. he doesn’t draw up and he can’t loop his Retrieval interrupts because of Matt’s drains and soon runs out. Matt abyssins to get 4 back and win by 21. he goes insane AGAIN! but this time it’s reasonable.
time for another japanese sealed deck. Geoff snider and i are talking and Joe alread is talkin w/ Hayes hunter for Older Code. Ayways, Goeff and I find these 2 jap guys who are doing 1 for 1s on any premeire BB rare you OWN. So i give him my ben kenobi for his Jap Obi and then he sees my...epp vader. And gives me jap luke and Cal fal for it, haha. Oh well, he makes the better deal in the long run when he gets back to japan and get’s to trade there. Geoff pulls like 50 rares 1 for 1. unbelievable we say to each other. one of the jap guys just gave away his 2 jap vaders for some other guys 2 BB Premier vaders! joe olson pulls a jap vader AND a dark jedi lightsaber. wow.
Game 1: my DS!!! I am finally DS! against hayes hunter.
A close game but dannick jerriko is ability 3 and he helps me. I beat hayes by 1 card. hehe
game 2:
I win by 9 because my tech finally works out. Ds Jawa screws his arcona for a massive beatdown. HAHAHA!!!
game 3:
I drop to lars farm wioth 2 ability 2 guys. next turn, he drops r2d2 and undercover...wtf? Next turn i deply couple ties to kessel. He deploys couple xwings to kessel. I drop my Vic Class and have it and 3 different ability 1 ties, initiate against his lone xwing, he hyper escapes to tatooine, that’s cool. I follow with all my ships. next turn...literally comes tantive 4, another x-wing, and 3, MIND YOU 3 EJECT EJECTS!!! 2 of em go thru and he beats me down. last turn i initiate power 6 vic against his xwing. he plays out of nowhere and that’s Friggin game. unbelievable.
game 4:
some german punk. he sits their and never drains when i save a force cuz he fears counter assault, HAHA! he times me out becuz he is gay and has traffic control to win it. what a jerk.
The japanese guy i traded with gives me this afterwards:
his entire sealed DECK!
his sealed premeire starter and Hoth booster sealed which were his prize support, amazing.
Props/Slops
Props:
Clemson Tigers for being 6-0
georgia for beating tennessee, GO DAWGS!
Gary carmen, for always being drunk, and giving me a deck idea for augustacon i might use. and for beating clint at his own penis game.
TJ-for being cool and a funny guy.
clint-for the JOE ALREAD SUCKS! i can’t wait to hear taht and PENIS in the radio free decipyher recording, hehe.
the 2 japs guys, for being awesome.
SLops:
twigg for being #1 in world in sealed deck AND being LS in JPSD and loosing first game to random scrub, HAHA!
Clint, for coloring a DLOTS and mara, and losing the penis game.
Tennessee vols for being 2-3, HAHAH!!!
time to make decks for augustacon and i’m signing off. Hope you had fun, it was a freaking blast. Later!
later