gordons-roanoke-tr-11-5-00
Title: gordons-roanoke-tr-11-5-00
Author: Gordon "Tallus" Marx
Date: Nov 8, 2000
This will be my first-ever TR, so go easy on me.
Prelude:
Heidi Farinholt, Steve Turner, and I form Team Charlottesville: Virginia’s own mobile wrecking squad. Our decks are tech, our instincts killer, our minds and bodies focused on one purpose - to win. And so begins the epic saga.
So around 11:00 we hop in Steve’s car, Big Cat (Tempest 1), and road trip to Roanoke. On the way, naturally, we’re bored, and I give Steve the essential guy question - who would you nail, Drew Barrymore or Cameron Diaz? Steve, like the moron he is, picks Diaz. At least Heidi has taste and agrees with me that Drew Barrymore is a goddess. This sets off a round of theoretical competitions. Here, submitted for your approval, are the results:
Diaz or Scully - Unanimous for Scully
Scully or Helen Hunt - Heidi and Steve say Scully, I say Helen Hunt
Diz from "Starship Troopers" or Trinity from "Matrix" - Heidi and I - Trinity, Steve picks Diz?!
Favorites:
Leia - Steve and I - Scout Leia, Heidi says Slave Leia
Star Wars Chick - Steve and I - Padmé, Heidi picks Amidala in the lightbulb outfit
Favorite Non-American SW Player - Bastian Winkelhaus ("I will pay 1 Force for Yanus")
Least Favorite Player - Steve says Gabe Alonso, Heidi says Scott Valentine
Sci-Fi Race Embroiled in Genocidal War Against Humanity: Heidi goes for Ebola, Steve and I pick the Minbari (because Delenn is hot)
Anyway, on to the games. I came into this tourney with a 1527, the highest-ranked Gordon in the world, but the lowest-ranked member of Team Charlottesville. Heidi was 1753, and Steve was 2102. On Dark, Heidi and Steve had Hunt Down, Heidi was dueling, Steve wasn’t, and I had gay TIEs, and on Light, Heidi played her RtP, Steve had MBO-Attack Run (I’m confused - one second I’m winning, and then Theron Nett is draining me for 4 at Ord Mantell), and I had Scrub Scouts that turn Vader. Yeah. We’re cool.
Game 1: Jizz Scouts vs. James Yarrington’s TDIGWATT
So I sit down to my first tourney game in about 3 months or so. I’m not too nervous, since he looks about 12. He starts the Casino, no interrupt. I’m bringing the straight TIGIH start with Strike Planning, Battle Plan, and Insurrection. He drops Security Tower, CC Sector, and Bespin. I drain, drop my man Crix, pull Wuta, drop the Back Door, pull the H1 DB, and move Luke to the DB. He then puts Lando, Lobot, and an Aqualish to the Casino, and OS-72-2 and Obsidian 7 to CC. I drain for 2, and drop General Solo and Wicket to the Back Door. He drains for 2 and pulls Dark Deal, but then draws up. I drain for 4, drop Obi, Kensaric, and Page on his mooks, slash Lando, wreck, and get a card. He doesn’t drain and drops Boba Fett with Blaster Rifle (not the EPP) and a Lobot. They naturally get wrecked. I drain for 6, and drop my man Midge to Endor. Wicket’s with Crix and Wuta at the Hut, so I’m draining for extra everywhere I can. He drops Bossk to Bespin, and then draws up. I drain for 8 and put my man Broken Bruckman to the Casino and spread to drain at the Tower and the Casino. He finally remembers to drain (for a big fat 1) and draws. I drain for 9 and drop Chewie of Kashyyyk to Han. He drops Corporal Prescott, a Merc Pilot, Barky Dan, and an Aqualish to Broken Bruckman and Page. I Noble Sac Brooks for 5 and he initiates, even though he has no cards in his reserve. I wreck. One more card. He leaves the Pilot and Prescott there, and I battle for the win.
FW 2(+29)
High: Working.
Low: Working a scrub.
Game 2: @#$% Ties vs. Barret Osborne H1:WR start
OK, he starts the War Room, Insurrection, Staging Areas and some other random crap. I start SYCFA, Mob Points, TINT, and YCHF. I get Wakeelmui from reserve, drop it and the D*War Room, and draw some junk. He gets the H1:DB and drops Tawws there for extra activation (whatever). I Twi’lek for Dreaded Imperial Starfleet and draw. He drops 2-1B and Commander Wedge to H1:DB (again, whatever). I drop Kiffex, Endor, SFS and 2 Interceptors to Kiffex (secret Gordon tech) and 1 to Endor. He drops Lando with Lightsaber (yeah. I know. What the hell?!) and moves some mooks to the D*DB. I just drain and draw. He tries to drain for 2, but I cancel it. He drops C3PO and Bacta Tank. I drain for 4 and draw. He puts a LS Proficiency on Lando (what the fuzzy frickin’ hell?), drops CoK, C3PO, and 2-1B to the D*War Room. I drain for 4 and drop EPP Vader to CoK and battle, missing Chewie (drew a 2 and a 2, frickin’ roar) and making him forfeit C3PO. He tries to drain, but I cancel it, drops Gen Solo to Vader, battles, he wins by 4 but draws a fat 0 for destiny, so Vader stays. I drain for 4, drop Sullust, drop an assload of TIEs and retrieve like 8 or so, and move Vader to the DB. He drops Premiere Obi and Daughter and beats the piss out of DV. I laugh when he starts adding up power - he forgot the no battle damage clause, and my CHYBC shut down all of his drains but the one I cancel, so he gained nothing. I drain for 6. Then I make a mistake. I drop Presence on the H1:DB and wreck that damn Lando with Vader with Stick, giving him a second BG for CHYBC. Luckily, he doesn’t capitalize on it. He drains for 1, I cancel it, drops Luke with Stick to Daddy - mutual kill. I drain for 6, Limited Resources for 4, drop Battle Order - it’s all over. He doesn’t drain, I drain him out for the win.
FW+18 4(+47)
High: TIEs work pretty well.
Low: Noninteractive game. Giving him a second BG for CHYBC.
Game 3: @#$% Ties vs. Ed Yarrington EBO with Mon Cals
I didn’t take notes for this or the fourth game, so it gets a little sketchy. Basically, I owned space for long enough that my big drains took out most of his jank. He just had a small wrecking crew of like 2 Mon Cals (one was the Liberty) and Hobbie in Wing. I jumped on it when he moved Hobbie to Kessel - yeah. My 4 power, 1 deploy Interceptors vs. his Hobbie and 2 Mon Cals? I outpowered him with like 5 and played APTW for extra beatdown goodness. Yeah.
FW+9 6(+56)
Game 4: Scrub Scouts vs. Steven Turner’s Huntdown
This is a game I should have won. As is, I’m extremely pleased with keeping it close against such an excellent player. Basically, he dropped a mook to get Luke, and dropped 2 scouts, Insertion Planning, 6 BD for card 1. Choke Vader came to get Luke. 3 scouts, Insertion Planning, and a 6 later, card 2. Choke Vader comes back and gets the same treatment. All I need is for him to drop a Vader and I draw a 6 and win. The problem was, the last time he came to get Luke, I left Beezer alone with him - beatdown for like 18 (Igar + Tempest 1). Insertion Planning helped, but not enough to make the difference. This game was extremely tight, especially after No Escape popped off the top on turn 2 or 3. Had I had one more turn, I would have won. Had I not left Beezer alone, I would have won. As is, I lost by only 5.
FL-5 6(+51)
High: Playing an incredible game against Turner. Noble Sac-ing Brooks Carlson off of his Admiral Chiraneau to keep me in the game.
Low: Not being able to bring it home. Leaving scouts alone. Brooks not having the 10 forfeit he needed to make me a happy, happy man.
Anyhoo, Turner takes #1 (by three differential over Ben Hosp, the other undefeated), Ben takes #2, Heidi takes #3. My loss drops me to #5. But I’m still happy, and confident for next tourney.
Props:
Star City for the second best bathroom I’ve ever seen in a comic shop
Turner for polishing off 2 sketch-ass chili dogs with mustard
Turner’s mom, for being extremely cool
Turner’s sister, for something I can’t say
Heidi for finishing round 1 with a nice even 69 differential
The kid who put LS Prof on Lando with Blaster Pistol and Lightsaber
Dammit, I’m going to give myself props. I played damn well and I’m perfectly satisfied finishing 5th.
Slops:
Scott Valentine for being a gay homosexual
The po-po, for being in the parking lot of a comic shop
Me, for choking and losing a game against Turner that I should have won
Ben Hosp, for sneaking around the Charlottesville wrecking crew (only mild slops)
Heidi, for giving me slops
Steve, for beating me