wheres-my-monnok-the-full-report-mix
Title: wheres-my-monnok-the-full-report-mix
Author: Joshua "Stormcrow" Grace
Date: Nov 21, 2000
long report. Settle down. Grab a beverage. All you
under-age guys, this does not mean Im encourage illegal
habits. Kick back, and enjoy.
Intro? I heard that the St. Cloud tournament was drawing
Jon Swenson and Zach Stenerson from Moorhead and
Fargo, and I knew that Graham Neal and Mike Raveling
were going to attend from the Minneapolis / St. Paul area.
So the tournament was going to be top notch, drawing
several of the top 10 players in our region. I made plans
Tuesday, during the local 4-game tournament, with Mike
and Graham to hitch a ride out to St. Cloud and checked
back on Friday evening to confirm the plans. Once they
were solidified, I decided Id best change my decks since:
a) my light side was a pile of interrupts in the shape of a
very bad EBO deck and b) my light side was a pile of
interrupts in the shape of a very bad EBO deck.
Meanwhile, everyone and his grandma was playing Scum,
so I decided Id tear apart my Dark Side deck, too, which
was a Nikto brand of My Kind of Scum (dont mock the
Niktos, 4 power and 8 forfeit for 1 force as a react
anywhere at Jabbas Palace is pretty good).
Fiddling around with Light Side cards and looking through
my collection, I decided that I really wanted to build a
deck using Off the Edge. But that didnt look too good, so
I built a Jedi Training to Test 6 deck. It stunk. I tore it
apart and built a Test to 3 w/docking bays and Off the
Edges deck. It stunk worse. I tore it apart and built a
TIGIH deck w/docking bays and Off the Edges. It smelled
slightly better, but still not pleasant. So, I decided I
wasnt good at building new decks, and slapped together
a Tosche Station deck, uncertain of my card mix. But it
was late and I was exhausted from my week of work and I
didnt really care about my Dark Side deck much yet
because I could build it in the car while we drove to St.
Cloud and I decided that sleep was good so I went to bed.
Enter the morning. The snooze alarm was my friend for a
few taps, and I didnt have time to work on my decks
before I left to meet Graham and Mike at Grahams
house. So I grabbed my collection of cards and drove off.
At Grahams, it is made known to Mike and I that Herb
Macy will be joining us for the drive to St. Cloud (thats a
different story). And Mike reveals that he cant drive his
new BMW because it still has its racing slicks, not winter
tires, and the roads are snow-covered and icy. So, well
take my car, but, fortunately, Mike volunteers to drive so I
can work on my decks.
I decide to call my light side good enough and work on a
dark deck. I look at a couple of the purple cards and just
get this empty feeling all throughout me. Yes, I tell
myself, these cards are so overplayed that they have lost
all meaning. What have I left, then? I ask myself. Well,
self, my self replies, how about a Jabbas Palace
Manipulator? A light goes *DING* And I start fishing out
the cards that Ill need. I grab my Tatooine, Combat
Readiness and Jabbas Palace. Thats a start. Then I
start fishing out all my 2/0 locations, Scanning Crews,
Senses, Alters, Myoom Onith, Ability x3, Search and
Destroy, Gailid, Monnoks--anything at all that I might use.
Of course, its way more than 60 cards, so I start sleeving
cards, whittling away at the pile. Remember, now, that
this is being done in half of the backseat of my car. I am,
meanwhile, entertaining the other occupants with Lords of
Acid and Ramstein. So I get to the point, shortly before
we arrive at the campus where the tournament will be,
where I have 60 dark side cards in a deck, and Im happy.
So, my decks are:
Light Side--Tosche Station and Mains
Dark Side--Jabbas Palace Manipulator
It turns out Swenson and Stenerson managed to corral a
few other Moorhead players. So, with the 4 of us from
Minneapolis, a few daring folk from Iowa, the Moorhead
crew, and the locals, the tournament is populated by a
very respectable 32 individuals. Dion Erbes, the TD, has a
cold and can barely speak, but everyone quiets down
enough that we can hear the pairings as they are called.
(I apologize for names, here. I failed to take any notes. If
you played me, you know who you are. If you didnt play
me, youre just reading about the guys, 1-6, who did.)
Game 1: My Dark vs. Steves EBO X-wing Swarm
As soon as I start shuffling, I realize that I didnt fit either
Battle Order or Imperial Decree into my deck, cards that
both would normally be included. Oh well, I figure that I
have two options against EBO. Either, Ill keep all his
pilots in his used pile with Screws while my early drains
and Search and Destroy will bleed his deck. OR, Ill
Monnok him for all of his X-Wings. So, we start out, and a
first turn Screw reveals 3 or so X-Wings and one rebel
who goes back to the used pile. Gailid goes to the
Audience Chamber where hell sit the whole game. He
gets his sites and draws. I Screw him again next turn and
set up another drain, so Im getting a good early lead. But
his next turn he draws up way beyond Myoom range.
Something like 17 cards. No problem. Ive activated about
14 myself. I search for something and dont find a
Monnok, so I just draw, looking for the first Monnok I can
find. And I draw. And I draw. And I draw. And then my
force pile is gone, and I still have no Monnok in my hand.
My dark side manipulator deck cant manipulate. Its a
pile. So Steve drops about 6 systems and as many
X-wings and says go. I drain for another 6 or so and hit
him with Search and Destroy. But theres nothing I can do
about his drains, so he hits me for 18 or 22. And all I can
do the next turn is deploy Zuckuss and some dude in
space to block the drain at Kessel. That buys me maybe
one turn. But its simply his huge drains versus my
modest drains and Search and Destroy. The game ends
in about 15 minutes. A full loss for me by 6.
0(-6)
So, after the game, I go hang out with Graham, Mike,
Jon, Zach and some of the other guys. Seems each of
them has won (until much later Shane comes back to
report a loss--to Herb Macy, but thats another story). At
any rate, I realize now that I have a manipulator deck
without Monnoks, so I say, quite honestly, that I expect
to go 0-3 with my dark and hope that my light can go 3-0.
Everyone else finishes their games, and we re-pair.
Game 2: My Light vs Bretts (?) BHBM
This game was fairly embarassing. My opponent barely
knew his own cards. He started the game by announcing
each card he put into play and reading the full text. I
asked him if he was doing that for his benefit or for mine,
and when he said it was for mine, I asked him to stop. So
he did. But the game had that same sort of naive feel
throughout. With Mobilization Points out, he set the
Emperor up first turn at the Throne Room, losing 2
activation. He deployed The Emperors Power but failed to
use it in two or three battles. Meanwhile, I deployed
Masta Luke first turn to Tosche Station from my reserve
deck (and he asked "How?"--so I said, "Using your
card."). And I activated a helluvalot on my second turn.
But Vader was quick to follow. We battled quite a bit and
danced around when the battling was looking bad for me.
I dont remember quite how I won, but a good deal of it
came from him losing cards from his reserve instead of
using Vaders forfeit value. I felt relieved when the game
was over. Full win by 27.
2(+21)
At this point, I know Im going to be among the top
players with a loss. And I hope to play my dark deck first,
so that my light side will have an easier game again.
Mike, Jon and I find an AD&D video game that was kind of
fun for a while, well worth a quarter at any rate, and then
we head back for Game 3.
Game 3: My Dark Side Misbegotten Jumble vs. Parkers
EBO
Well, he shows early signs of X-wing Swarm, so I set up
Gailid and Myoom again at two Jabbas sites. And my
early damage holds him back for quite a bit. Parker pulls
an interesting move and Revos the War Room, but for
some reason I had put Come Here You Big Coward in my
deck and, having drawn it, slap that down the succeeding
turn. So, it turns into extra generation for me and a
generation loss for him. Quite an important turn, too,
since my Screws hold him back a bit. He gets out Echo
Garrison... or whatever the effect is that lets him pull
Commander Luke, etc. But that only gets him one
character a turn while Im draining for 4 and working him
over with Search and Destroy. At one point, he begins his
turn searching for both his Echo sites and Commander
Luke. But I had a force saved and Screwed his Luke. That
was the highpoint of the game for me. Sad, but true.
Before he gets his EBO set up, he throws some ships
into space to start draining me. But Zuckuss and Boba
Fett launch into his ships at one system, and that gives
me another drain of 1 per turn. However, the next turn, I
Myoom and find that both Leia w/Gun and Tawss Khaa
are in his hand while I have Myoom and Gailid alone at
their sites on Tatooine. Im forced to land Zuckus with
Myoom and move Fett over to Gailid, but that seems to
hold Parker off. He keeps losing force to my drains and
Search and Destroy until very late in the game. And by
that time, Vader and Mara come down to Hoth to clean
up. Full win by 27.
4(+48)
Well, Im pleased as punch, having won with my dark
side. So I figure I may even go 4-2. And I trust my light
side to do its job.
Game 4: Tosche madness vs. Andrew Mahjowald (sp?)
RalOps
I played Andrew before in another tournament at St. Cloud,
and I know he’s no pushover. I should beat him, but he
knows how to play his deck. When I look at my hand, though,
it seems to matter very little what he’ll do. I draw a 2/0
site, Ben Kenobi and Luke w/Saber. First turn, he activates
deploys a site from reserve and draws. My turn, I deploy
Ben at the hut, my 2/0 site and move Ben to Tosche. He goes,
deploys another site from reserve and an Imperial Guard at
the Swamp. I activate 14 or 15, deploy Battle Plan, Frozen
Assets over his saved force, Luke w/Saber against the guard
and battle. He loses the guard and 5 or 6. So he activates
about 6 force on his turn and draws. I activate and draw,
too. His next turn, he deploys the Emperor at the spaceport
site that gives +1 power and forfeit to Imperial leaders.
Okay... Since he didn’t start IAO. I deploy Frozen Assets to
shut off his force pile. Then, to Ben’s hut, I deploy Han
w/Gun, Leia w/Gun and Chewbacca. I Nabrun the 4 of them to
the Emperor’s site and beat the tar out of the old man. At
this point, the game is effectively over no matter what
Andrew chooses to do, so rather than forfeit Pasty and lose
only 15, he keeps the embodiment of evil on the table and
loses a good 24. I look at the cards in my hand and those on
the table and decide I don’t need to draw another card for
the rest of the game. I just stop him from draining me at
all and block his drains with my armada. General Calrissian
in the Falcon deployed at his <> DB. And I took 2 force
loss from a battle involving the Emperor, Vader a bunch of
Imperial Guards, Trooper Assault and a Dark Jedi Presence.
But I never drew another card and paid for my drains to win
by 40. And now I think I can win this tournament if all the
undefeateds knock each other off--and I pull off a miracle
win with my dark side slop.
6(+88)
Well, not only do I know that I can potentially win this
tournament, but so does Jon Swenson who starts *accusing* me
of throwing the first game of each tournament. I mean,
really, can I help it if I suck at first games? Righteously
offended, I tell Jon that of coure I’m not trying to throw
my games, but he should go ahead and try to backdoor a
tournament sometime... BUT the real trick is to lose the
first TWO games. No one would EVER expect that!
Anyhow, I believe this is the intermission wherein the
inaugural Kohman Olympics took place. Josh Kohman was making
a loud noise of himself and Mike Raveling suggested that he
and Stenerson see who can throw Kohman further. So Mike
lifts Kohman and tosses him about 3 feet. Zach, not to be
outdone, tries a new technique and hurls Kohman headlong
into a chair. Maybe 4 feet, but Kohman disqualifies him for
brutality, still reeling from the new lump on his forehead.
Later events are much gentler, including the push-Kohman-on-
a-cafeteria-tray contest...
Well, the new pairings are favorable to me again. I play my
dark ahead of my light.
Game 5: My heap vs. Justin Fleenor’s TIGIH
It had occured to me that I could play my dark deck like a
beat-down deck and just use Screws far more than I really
should. But Justin starts Do or Do Not AND Insight. And they
never leave the table. This means effectively half of my
deck is good for nothing other than destiny and easy choices
when it comes to losing force. But I draw a Lord Vader
early and deploy him to the Landing Platform. As soon as I
can (while I’m still force-choking Justin), I move Vader
to Chirpa’s Hut and set up a drain of 2. Unfortunately, I
can’t draw a character to save my life over the next 2 or 3
turns. Meanwhile, Justin’s deploying 2/0 locations all over
the place and amassing a good handsize, and I can’t take a
peek with Screw. So I’m getting a bit worried when finally
he launches the initial assault. 2 Eloms, Chewbacca and
Admiral Ackbar. Ackbar? What the? Anyhow, that’s who comes
to battle. Fortunately, I draw a high destiny, so Vader
covers all but 3 and the one to IFTC. I start setting up on
Tatooine with Mara and Saber, Mosep, Myoom, Dr. E and maybe
some other scrub. We exchange drains until I draw a Vader.
At this point, I have enough force to a) deploy Vader, b)
Elis Helrot and battle or c) do both if I draw a 0 for
Helrot. I search for a Jabba’s location and find in my 5
force: two 0’s, one 1, and two 3’s. Why not? I play Elis
on Mara and crew before deploying. 3. Bummer. So they head
over and just sit around. Choke Lord and Saber remain in
my hand. Justin brings Ackbar back from the Bacta Tank and
battles. I lose everyone but Mara. Stack another card on
IFTC. I’ve already seen the ASP droids, so I very much fear
stacking another card on IFTC, lest he get the Catapult
down and convert Vader. At this point my drains are keeping
me in the lead. But Mara’s stuck against his big, bad crew,
holding Luke captive for 2 loss a turn unless Vader joins
her. And when has Vader ever shrunk from a battle? Vader
comes to the Landing Platform, saber in hand, and we battle.
I choke Chewbacca, hit two characters and win the battle by
1 power. Meanwhile, I’m immune, so both my characters stick
around while his are decimated. Next turn, all he can do is
run away. It’s pretty much a drain race from this point on,
except that I had managed to use Myoom once before she died
and saw an On the Edge or two in his hand. So I keep hold
of a couple of my Senses just to kill that card. Finally,
he’s down to 10 life force or less and plays his On the
Edge. Sense. I succeed and lose the Sense + 2 more. But it
was the finishing blow, and I win by 21. The dark pile
*somehow* goes 2-1.
8(+109)
And so it turns out, history *does* repeat itself. Jon
Swenson lost to Graham’s Scum. Graham lost to somebody. Mike
Raveling lost to somebody. Stenerson lost to Josh Kohman.
All of the undefeated players have knocked each other out of
contention except for Josh Kohman, who has a timed win and
needs to win the game to win the tournament. Meanwhile, I
have (apart from Kohman) the largest differential by far, so
the winner of our game is going to be the winner of the
tournament.
Game 6: Battle of the Joshes, Grace vs. Kohman
My Tosche "Can I please play against Scum?" vs. Kohman’s
Scummy Court.
He starts Court. I start Obi’s Hut, Careful Planning and
decide to convert his Audience Chamber. Of course, this is
much better than a Profit conversion because he doesn’t get
to pull a CC Engineer with Chall. Not right away, anyhow.
He activates, loses one and draws. I activate deploy Ben
to the Hut, KFC to the Chamber and move Ben over. The rest
of the game is a prolonged battle over the audience chamber
with both First Strike and Draw Their Fire hitting the
table. Many men fought bravely in the hot Tatooine suns, and
many men died. Ben was disarmed and fatally wounded, only to
recover on a later turn. Master Luke was captured, only to
be freed and wreak havoc on unsuspecting aliens. But among
the many battles, the most memorable in my mind was a fairly
humours battle between Fett w/Blaster and Dr. E against my
Luke, Ben and Chewbacca. Kohman initiated this battle and
paid to retrieve (Aim High, people--I’ve been reading your
reports, and you let people retrieve for free... that’s like
*giving* them force...). He had earlier searched for
something to find a 3 and a 6 in his deck. Well, he plays
Hidden Weapons to target Luke, and the fateful destiny is...
3. Yes, Luke is captured (where was Kashyyk? Eh, Stenerson?)
and Ben gets hit by the 6 and is E-bait. Operated and dead.
Nonetheless, Chewbacca stands his ground with no destiny,
and since Kohman had exhausted his reserve deck, he gets no
destiny either. And Chewbacca outpowers the silly evil
aliens, so Kohman goes back into the force he retrieved and
loses one. As the suns were setting on Tatooine and
protracted battles, his Projected Telepathy gets grabbed,
General Cal and Nien Numb join the fray, Scum gets
cancelled, and finally the balance of powers tips
irrevocably in the favor of the light side. Win by 16.
So, yes, Jon’s right. I’m a sneaky son of a gun,
"backdooring" yet another tournament, coming from an early
loss to claim first with a total of 10(+125).
Zach Stenerson got second. Swenson took third. And I failed
to keep track beyond that point.
So, cheers and jeers abound:
Cheers:
Ben Kenobi. Do I need to say why?
Dion Erbes for running a smooth tournament, even while sick.
Players from Moorhead and Iowa for taking the drive.
The 31 players other than myself that made this a well-
attended tournament.
Jeers:
Monnok, oh Monnok, wherefore art thou, Monnok?
This is where all those "...but that’s a different story"
references come to bear...
Joshua "Stormcrow" Grace