moffwicket-goes-to-mirkwood-1-13

Title: moffwicket-goes-to-mirkwood-1-13
Author: Justin "MoffWicket" Alfs
Date: Jan 14, 2001

Well, I managed to get a box of Reflections 2 on Friday. Almost a whole set of the non-foil stuff comes in a single box, so I was pretty happy. BUT I didn’t get a Hancicle, which was the entire point of getting the box before Saturday. Luckily, Garrett got a box and pulled a couple, so he gave me one.

For this tournament I played Freezer Burn (CCT w/Scum) for dark and Watch Your Step with a bunch of Raltiir Captains and Intruder Missiles. I start with Superficial Damage (forfeit a weapon thingy), Aim High, and Squassin.

As I mentioned in my last report, this is Chris Perman’s last regular tournament as a SM. To make it a little more interesting, he brought in a bunch of movie clips and we all played movie trivia between games. The best couple trivia players got a few R2 packs. Graham won, Garrett got second.

Nice turnout for this one. 25-30 people.
On to the games:

Game 1: My Carbon Chamber Testing vs. Peter Jacobson’s Rescue the Princess

First few turns I grabbed my sites and marched Hancicle accompanied by 4-Lom over to the AC. Meanwhile Peter does the usual Lift tube/8d8 stuff and gets Leia to the war room to flip. Mighty Jabba, Elephant Man, and bugeye w/pointing stick are protecting my prize possession and scum in the chamber while a whole lot of battling takes place at the Y4 DB. I retrieve a ton, while I whittle away his characters. I get out Secret Plans early, and he pulls off a Death Star Plans with EXACTLY enough to pay for it. He manages to place a few of my guys out of play, but not too much to worry about. I think he tried Fallen Portal 3 times, and missed every time. There was one point where it was Xizor and some friends vs. Leia and a guy or two. He had 6 ability, so I told him he doesn’t get a destiny. Well, after the game he says, "Doesn’t it say ability 6 or more?" And sure enough, it does. Guess I should actually read my cards. I just @$$umed it was the same as Suck@$$ in MH. So he would have drawn two destinies instead of none for that battle and killed some of my guys. I don’t think it would have changed the outcome of the game, though. I pretty much dominated this one.

FW +31

Highs: CCT worked flawlessly
playing Peter was a pleasure--he’s a really nice guy
Lows: Finding out I screwed up. I don’t like tainted victories.

Dark kicks Light butt. A win by 31 is good enough only for 3rd or 4th among darks. The next match-up down from me featured a guy who had won by 6 with LS vs whoever the next place dark guy after me was.

Game 2: My LS smugglefest vs. MN Grand Slam winner Josh "Stormcrow" Grace’s Hunt Down dueler

I was not expecting to see HD today. He gets first turn Vader at my Cantina. That’s bad. My first turn I get someone cool at Kessel. That’s good. I’ve got Han w/slingshots and Chewbacca Protector in hand with Life Debt in the lost pile and plan on jumping choke lord next turn. Well, he puts down Tarkin and Iggypop his turn. That’s bad. I decide to draw instead, and get Jedi Luke, saber, OOC/TT. That’s good. Visage dies. He deploys Palpy to the theatre and Visage again. That’s bad. I get Luke-sama to the DB to flip his obj back. He moves the trio to greet Luke. I kind of want him to duel, since I’ve got a bunch of 7s and 5s. Well he doesn’t, and I find out later that he just never got any of it in hand. I deploy the Han-san and Chewie-kun, and the party starts. My obj is now flipped, so my first action is to play Life Debt from the lost pile. For a moment I think I might regret starting this battle. He has the potential to eliminate 2 of them before it’s over. He tries to choke Chewie and misses. Thank God. Han hits Tarkin. At the moment I’m getting 5 battle destinies, so he cancels it to retain some forfeit. He captures Han. Suddenly I drop to 3 destinies. I don’t remember exactly what else happens, but I think Luke was the only survivor. His turn I play OOC/TT from lost pile, but he deploys No Escape, takes back Visage, and redeploys it. If Luke didn’t die before, he does right around now. Some guy in a waker and Vader take back the Cantina and DB. We have about the same amount of force left. Secret Plans and Battle Order are out, so it’s not looking good for me. I can’t believe he hasn’t beat my space fleet down yet. I deploy Dash and Outrider to Correlia to set up for my Kessel Run, then draw to get one. As I’m drawing, I realize that without Leebo I can’t get there in one turn. Then I pick Leebo up. Whew. Two turns later I have 11 force left. I activate it all, spend to drain at Kessel, move back to Corellia, and spend to retrieve 7. Josh says wait, reads my cards like 3 times each. He was hoping it was the ship that made you retrieve more for the smuggler’s ability, but it wasn’t, and a turn or two later I won.

FW +9

Good: the Battle Royale at the DB
Dash smuggling drugs to save my life
Beating not only a good HD, but a very good player
Bad: ???

Game 3: Smugglefest vs. Herb Macy’s Endor Ops/Constructing the Second Death Star

Surprisingly, Herb is not being an annoying jack@$$ today. I start with mathematically worst opening hand possible. He puts Vader in his custom TIE at Tatooine and moves a fully constructed second death star into orbit very early. Second turn I think. I can’t find any good ships to save my life. Halfway into the game, I finally flip and draw 2 destinies to kill Vader. By this time he has Chirneau on the Big E elsewhere. I get maybe one Kessel Run completed the whole game, but the D* occupation and huge drains from Establish Secret Base do me in.

FL -11

Good: Herb didn’t p%^ me off.
Finally did kill Vader
Bad: Never saw anything good in my hand.

Game 4: Freezer Burn vs. Kalib Grace’s EBO w/speeders

Kalib is Josh’s brother and an excellent player as well. He uses garrison to get EBO running quickly. I do my usual 4Lom setup. Luckily I get Zuckuss, Dengar, and IG2k in my hand early. His first ship to come out is Home 1. And it’s the first ship to die. He returns the favor by deploying some unique pilot in xwing, ten numb in blue 5, and xwing laser cannons. Suck@$$ dies, and I’m left with no battle destiny. I lose both my ships to cover. He gets Jek in red 6 to kiffix. Meanwhile a ground war is waging at the 4th marker. Xizor and several Bhunters are whittling away his forces, but bacta tank is keeping him alive. I deploy Bossk w/gun to help, planning on losing him to attrition, but he draws a big destiny, and for some stupid reason I lose Xizor instead of Bossk and another guy. BIG mistake. He surrenders the site and moves Zev in speeder back under the shield. At this point he’s got battle order out, and I just deployed Search and Destroy. I picked up a ship to kill Jek, and I’ve got way more force left than him. I’m feeling pretty good. He DB transits Zev & Leia in speeder to the CC. Now S&D is worthless, and he has free drains while I don’t. I have no characters left to take him off the battleground site. I was about to kill Jek with Bossk in bus, then realized I was stupid and left Bossk alive on the ground. Suddenly I lose.

FL -12

Highs: a fun and interactive game
My deck working flawlessly again
Lows: me being stupid. If I had killed ground Bossk, space Bossk would have killed Jek and most likely survived. I would have drained for free and gotten a few force back, but most importantly, eliminated that big drain of 4. I think I would have won.

Game 5: Smugglefest vs. Garrett Larson’s Agents of the Black Sun

Garrett starts Presence at the Imp City to autoflip. I set up in space with Mirax in Pulsar Skate, but his drain 1, lose 1 is getting annoying fast. He gets out Scum and First Strike quickly. Suck@$$ wipes out Mirax. I can’t get Luke into hand to flip back his obj, so I check my destines: 7, 1, 7, 1, 2, 4. I say, "Oh, what the hell. It’s only a game," and deploy Chewie with popgun to take out Xizor. Destiny....7! Xizor dies, but Garrett declines to draw destiny. Uh-oh. Next turn he beats the poop out of Chewie. Garrett is in complete control. He has a healthy amount left, while I have next to nothing. I deploy Jedi Luke with glostick to Coruscant, but don’t have enough to battle, swing, and draw destiny, so I say go. He gladly battles. Luke chops one guy, drawing 7, 1. I realize he will be left with just Djas if I don’t draw battle destiny, so I don’t. I probably wouldn’t have thought of doing that if he hadn’t done it to me earlier. My turn: battle. I retrieve 1; he loses 1. Swing at Djas. 4. 1. Destiny: a big fat 7. 15 to 3, and all of a sudden the game has turned around. He has maybe one other site under control, and I’ve got a drain of 3 at the imp city and I think Kessel for 3. All of a sudden I win.

FW +5

Good: I pulled that win out of my @$$. That was fun.
Bad: having to play against Garrett (who I’ve played against thousands of times) when I could be playing any of 30 other people.

Game 6: Freezer Burn vs. Victor Bolling’s Agents in the Court/Eloms

Where should I begin? Victor is arguably the most annoying SW player in MN. Herb is more infamous, but that’s only because not everyone’s been forced to play against Victor. Victor, as far as I know, has only played one DS deck in his life: Corulag ops with Scanning Crew and reacting scout walkers. That’s what he played a year and a half ago, that’s what he played Saturday. The first tournament after DSII came out every sane person rejoiced, for Operatives had been officially killed with the new effects. Naturally, I built new decks, planning for new strategies going into that tourney. What did see? Victor’s Corulag ops. Assuming anyone with half a brain wouldn’t play Ops OR Scanning Crew, I did not pack Insight or Let’s Keep a Little Optimisim. Victor had never heard of DSII. His own stupidity was an asset that night, as his cheesy $^%#$&**ing operatives for which I was totally unprepared for beat me. Victor is not a good player, so I was doubly pissed. The next time I saw him and his pile of $hit, I beat the phuk out of it with my Rebel Strike Team deck. Not only did I beat his pile, I broke his spirit. I smashed him so bad that game that he suddenly got real quiet, activated for two straight turns, and drew up. He had 2 turns of activation! That’s at least 20 force left when he gave up. Some of you may be thinking that I’m a bitter person for hating someone just for playing operatives. There’s more to it than that. Victor is a painfully annoying person. His monotone nasal voice is aggravating. He plays the game excruciatingly slowly. He will read aloud half his cards. If you play a card that is not in either of his current decks, he has never seen it, and therefore must read it with the speed of a retarded second-grader. He constantly asks you how many cards are in your hand and what phase it is.

But I digress. On to the game at hand.

First turn I put out 4lom, convert his AC, and move the Hancicle & bugeye over. He uses 3 of his 4 force to signal for the JPSD effect that lets him raise his converted site. Phuc. Next turn he puts out Seeking an Audience (or whatever card that pulls Artoo). I get a little worried that he’ll deploy Artoo&Threepio and gangprobe 4Lom, but that would require him to plan for new, unseen strategies, which he is clearly incapable of doing. Instead uses the most obvious of strategies, and he pulls Artoo and sets him outside the AC. That’s not good for me either. I counter by deploying Power of the Hutt, then put Elephant Man and Wuher in the AC. Now how ya like me, you little overrated tray holder?! Well, Victor may not be the master of cheese, like Graham Neal, but he is familiar with it, so he deploys Tessek in the AC, Bo Shuda, and Order to Engage. Phuc, again. I activate, and he asks me what phase it is! I’m so shocked by this moronic question, that if I wasn’t so pi$$ed, I’d have laughed. I lose to OTE and evacuate the AC, letting Artoo gift himself. I get Bubo in my hand and he pigs out on guys in the AC. First to die is Tanus Sploogyjackoff. His turn he fails to kill Bubo by deploying an army of power 1 hos and drawing a 0 for destiny. Bubo eats two eloms during his and my turn. He kills my precious pet, that ^#@*-sucker. 4Lom has finally made his way across the now vast Tatooine landscape to the entrance cavern, but in a fit of idiocy, I don’t move wuher and crew away, so 4lom self-destructs. Of course, Victor has no idea what Wuher says, even though he just read it 2 turns ago, so I could have not lost 4lom and he wouldn’t have said anything. I am not a cheater though, so I lost the droid. Then he foolishly deploys a Bomaar monk and an elom to the cantina. Power 3 against a scum deck?!?! I punish him by sending Fett and Bossk with guns to brawl in the cantina. Evidence to his own stupidity: not only does he deploy such a puny force against a powerhouse deck like mine, but I have to tell him that he’s got 3 power, instead of 1 like he thinks. Bossk misses, but Fett doesn’t. Jabba’s thru with him. He loses a few extra. Around this time he asks how much time is left. 25 min. Over half over, and we are no where near finished. He says, "We’ve go plenty of time," and proceeds to play even slower than before. I get Guri, move Han into the AC, and finally flip. Retrieving one a turn helps. He continues to take 5 minute turns, deploying chumps to try and drain me. I repeatedly battle him, killing off a guy or two of his. I tell him to play faster, or we’ll not finish in time. He moves guys away from me to drain, but I keep following him. He’s still taking forever, and again I tell him to hurry up. That’s like telling a pile of $hit to stop stinking. I drain when I can, he plays Fig every turn. He is not causing me any damage, as I keep blocking his drains, and he retrieves any damage I do. Time runs out during his turn. Five minutes later we count our piles. He has 20. I have 23.

TW +23

Highs: beating that annoying-as-#$@! #@$#-sucker and his deck that was as anti-S&V as possible
Lows: not only having to play this loser, but having to play him for 65 minutes.
-Timed wins are unacceptable. This is only my second ever, and I’ve been playing in tournaments since Cloud City.
-Not ever finding First Strike
-pretty much everything

So I go 4-2, placing 6th, give or take a spot. It is a freakish day, as some good players do poorly. Josh goes 3-3, losing with his Jedi Training deck twice because of he didn’t enforce his cards at key moments (test 2 for example). Graham goes 3-3 due to his crappy light deck. Garrett goes 2-4, his worst outing that I can remember. Jim Li went 5-1 to win the whole shebang.

Props: Jim for winning
Chris for being a great squadron member
Garrett and Josh for giving me a couple intense games
Peter for being such a nice guy
Everyone who drove a long way to play

Slops: Victor for being a god-awful, annoying, slow, cheesy $#@-sucking, goat-@*&#ing $%!#$$#@!#$#$%%$#%$#.....
Light side for not having enough ground-pounding smugglers

Stay tuned for another report for this upcoming Tuesday’s tourney.