kgb-hole
Title: kgb-hole
Author: Clint "GameMaster" Hays
Date: Feb 2, 2001
well after i got out of class around 4:30 me and the guy that lives next to me decided to go play some ball down at the bubble. we balled on some people until around 7. i got back and took a quick shower and went to get some food before meal plan hours ended. i rushed down to the tourney and found out they hadnt started yet cuz the tournament director was driving all the way from south carolina and had gotten delayed or something. apparently he was having an argument with his girlfriend and something about the rock turning heel and winning the belt at mania.
since kgb is no more than 10 minutes from any dorm on campus we usually get a good turnout. tonight was no exception. there were 17 players. that meant that jason wouldnt get to lose to me tonight. turns out he would end up spending all his money buying 5 packs of reflections 2 because he needed a control/set for stun combo for his dark side deck. turns out he didnt get one.
so i was playing rtp for light side and tdigwatt for dark. i figured i’d see how these decks could do against the locals.
game 1- damnit if i didnt get the @#$%in bye. random luck usually doesnt get me but i guess i’ll have to lay the smack down on hasis one more time.
so we start playing and im using my extra hidden base mains deck. he of course is playing bhbm with imperial commands. so the game starts out pretty slow or fast(@#$% you joe). he drops the emperor first turn but doesnt find rendili so i get to look but there’s really no point. i get jedi luke to home one turn one to get some more activation. on his 3rd turn he drops lord vader with saber to my tatooine docking bay. i drop ben there(holding courage of a skywalker). he immediately plays tcinc and i courage and win. he then complains about how its just a fun game and lets pretend he didnt do that. so i agree just like i always do. ben gets his saber and move to cc docking bay with luke. battle plan is shortly deployed and the falcon goes to tatooine to get that stuff goin. he opts to drain me rather than pick up luke. i get home one to tatooine to help out. he brings some ships and adds destiny with emperors power but i sense his command and draw 5, 6, 4. he loses some like 3 ships. i eventually set up some on/off the edges and complete an omdh. win easily.
2(+0)
game 2 light side vs ben blantons tie deck
well this matchups isnt too hard. he doesnt play secret plans so i just retrieve on him all game. he’s playing monkey ties but i know how to beat that pretty easily. after a few turns i set up orri with epp obi and ds2 wedge on rogue 4 with hobbie. i order him to engage at the docking bay with the emperor. so he loses mad force per turn. 2 a turn isnt good for him. he spreads out to try to drain quicker but 8d8 steals the plans. i eventually deploy frozen assets and draw their fire and beat the hell out of his tie vanguard for 25 damage thanks to some tracked destinies. that was game
FW 4(+27)
game 3 dark side vs brandon rucks tigih speeder/odds
well apparently he couldnt decide on the whether to play or get plastered so he went for both. he wasnt talkin too straight and he was lookin kinda funny. he had this sweater with him but he had draped it over his back so that the sleeves hung over the front of his shoulders. craig byrd came up huge by sayin he looked like a "frat fa_ggot".
so we start playing. on the first turn i drop rendili, ds2 docking bay and bespin and a 2/1 cc site. i also play imperial supply to allow me to deploy the emperor to his docking bay. on his turn he drops a endor forest thingy between the docking bay and the hut so i cant move through it. on my turn i deploy vader to an interior cc site and draw. he doesnt do anything. on my turn i deploy janus to a site and mara and put dark deal out along with zuckuss at cloud city. his turn he drops battle plan, artoo, 8d8 and inserts odds. i kindly point out the fact that i have started with you cant hide. he just kinda laughs this drunken laugh. the next turn i pay force to drain for a bunch and slide zuckuss to bespin. he decide to hurt my guys so he deploy hoth docking bay with incom corp and drops 9 speeders to the site with janus. he battles me. i play projective telepathy. he looks at the 1 card in his force pile and kinda laughs the drunken laugh again. on my turn i drain him for a slew again and move janus away. since he only has 2 cards in hand he aint gonna do much. i deploy some more guys and consolidate while taking a drain of like 2. i get occupation going pretty soon after that and the damage does him in.
FW 6(+51)
game 4 is light side vs micheal crosby’s isb deck
well he finally gets to play me. he kinda smirks when i show him my objective. oh well what ya gonna do. so i get a good hand. first turn i deploy echo base garrison and get 8d8 out. he goes to yavin but i transit him over and move him to the cell with a lift tube. he slowly sets up but deploying some locations(3rd marker, endor, maybe something else). on the 3rd try i free leia and bust her @#$% on over to the war room thanks to wedge and his friend flying rogue 4. so im flipped and i get back the 2 on the edges he made me lose with monnok. i basically spend the next few turns setting up my hand. he spends the next few turns setting up his fleet. after probably the 7th or 8th turn he’s got a good fleet goin. he’s got the executor, chimeara with chiraneua and ozzel, dreadnaught with an ors, bossk in hounds tooth and a black squadron tie at rendili draining me for two. at the 3rd marker he’s got blizzard 2 with ors, tempest 1 with oberk, vader with saber, ts1 with arnet and ts2 with watts and marquand. so he’s draining me for like 6. but he forgot secret plans for some reason. so im sitting with obi and wedge on cc cycling my 2 on the edges and my 2 off the edges. not to mention the death star plans that 8d8 keeps stealing. 8d8 knows how to steal @#$%. so i drop the falcon and artoo in red 5 to kessel. since he deployed all his stuff to rendili he cant put up much fight. so my drains of 1 and 3 do him in after about 50 minutes of cycling edge cards.
FW 8(+72)
so i end up winning the tourney. after the last game ruck goes out to his car to get a drink and a cop finds him carrying the beer back inside the store. they stop him and question him and it turns out he not of legal age so he gets arrested.
Slops
-Ruck for getting slammed
Props
-Craig for fitting the words "Kurt Angle" and "homosexual" into every other sentence
-Ruck for giving us a good laugh
Clint "GameMaster" Hays
Disclaimer- all the contents of this TR were meant as a joke and should be taken as such.