my-cats-name-is-mittens-dpc-2-24-01
Title: my-cats-name-is-mittens-dpc-2-24-01
Author: Paul "Vollerian" Motz
Date: Feb 26, 2001
Normal, Illinois
TD: The Holy Hand Grenade Ron Fonck and the Master Joe Alread, and others of course
2/24/01
THE PRE-TOURNAMENT
Well, it all started back in the waning hours of Friday night when the deck teching began. I did my normal ritual of traveling to JC Comics and playtesting a game before the actual tournament (it is my philosophy that playing a deck once before a tourney is normally a good idea.) So, I am running Prodigy: Infinity, a tad modified and The Crazy Kermit, Steve Kupermans TIGIH Scouts barely modified. Well, I hit the sack around 2 on Saturday morning and slept like a baby until 5:30. The Alarm sounded and all hell had broken lose. I wake up and I want to kill someone, the thought of a certain SW player came to mind, however that feeling passed and civility came to pass. Schaefer and Kuperman arrived on time and we left at 6:30 for the 130-mile trek to ab-Normal Illinois. Al is not accustomed to the normal driving style of team OJ. He normally takes his strapping physique down to Normal in about 3 hours (PANSY!) Well, our average cruising speed was 86 miles an hour and topped out at 94 at one point. Schaefer was white knuckled in the shotgun seat next to me, but that was understandable since it was pouring rain and windy as hell outside. The car (a 99 Yukon for those who care) was having the tendency of drifting to the right (maybe I shouldnt be speeding like a madman.) However, we safely arrive in one hour and 40 minutes (10 minutes under my best time.) Al was kissing the ground when we stopped in Normal and Steve was just like " get me the heck out of this downpour! " So we get a parking spot at Cyberia (this is as sacred as Mecca) and just as well we did since after we pulled in the remaining 3 spots filled up. We arrive in Cyberia and start the registering process. Joe Alread reminds those in earshot of how I like to threaten Eric Olson on Its An Older Code. This is quite true; I get my jollies out of telling people where they can shove their comments after a quite depressing loss. Oh well. Jason Lumsden quickly reads my decklist (since it is the third in the stack) and informs me that my DS deck is a tad illegal since it only has 31 cards. It is clear at this point that he is mentally retarded. Well, it turns out I wrote the same card twice so I feel retarded at this point. People are starting to trickle in at this point and it looks like it will be quite a show today. I mean Geoff Snider is nice and pleasant after a nice long evening of liquid courage (I am guessing only, no confirmation exists of this fact except that he looks like he has a 4 alarm hangover.) Anywho, Al Schaefer and I were about to sit down for a friendly game when Jason Lumsden calls out for an Ab Schaefe, we look at each other when it dawns on him that they are calling for him. What a moron, doesnt even know how to spell his own darn name. That is funny. Al and I play, I manage to eek out a win with Court vs. WY (the WYS was missing the starting effects but was still 61 cards; a relic from Mr. Kuperman.) Well, the Quebec crew shows up and a hush fell over our table. Me, being the SWCCG Ambassador of Goodwill promptly said, who the hell are these people and why do they look so happy to be here (that was an exaggeration.) I honestly could give a rats behind who shows up, but they look so . So Canadian. Those Canadians whew! George W. should take the initiative and bomb Ottawa and then Quebec and then Montreal Canadia should be the 51st state of the Union. Go US of A. I guess that is what I get for watching Canadian Bacon yesterday. I probably will lose by 58 to one of those guys, yay me.
STARTING HERE
ROUND ONE: LS
So, we all here that it is time, the DPC is actually beginning. So here we go. The first pairing Jerome Flynn I am thinking, it is gonna be a long time Paul Motz. Sweet, first pairing, this rules. It turns out the Jerome is a Delt like me (for those who are not wise in the ways of Greek Life: Delt: Delta Tau Delta) So he is playing a SYCFA Ties against my Kuperman Scouts. This was gonna be interesting. He deploys Merrack to DS: DB and says go, I bring out my squad (Orrimaarko) and lay him out for a card to I feel the conflict. The game goes on its own, Luke is draining and my scouts are draining at every DB except for Home One and he is draining in space. I am giving him 7 a turn and he is hitting me for 4 a turn. However, he keeps retrieving with Sienar Fleet Systems. So we go about our ways. Home One makes an Appearance and runs away blocking drains. The retrieval with Off and On the edge is key here. I must have On the Edged 5 times and Off the edged at least twice. We continue our drains and my retrieval finally outpowers him and the game is over
FW +22
Highs: Playing a good game against a great guy
Lows: Beating a Delt.
THE SAGA CONTINUES
ROUND ONE: DS
Well, the fairy tale ended since my next opponent is Chris Praksac (Hope I spelled that right.) Anyways, he is 25th in the world and yeah. Well, he is playing Seeking an Audience/Mess deck. This deck is tech. Whoa. First turn, (Since I didnt have a grabber) he goes through 2/3 of his deck with HDWGITM and whoa. He drops Oola at Hoth and I fortify the audience chamber. I drop Brangus at DS: DB and plop S and D. That doesnt last long. He comes to the DB and whoops Brangus and then proceeds to Out of Commission him. The game turns forever in his favor (if it was ever in my favor) Well, we drain at our respective locations and he brings EPP Obi and chops Gallid. The game is done here. He finishes me out when he battles IG-88 versus EPP Obi, Owen/Beru, and a Disarmed SD Lando. Well, this was a great game; I took a little long making sure I didnt do anything stupid. But Chris was a great opponent and it was an experience playing him
FL 13
Cumulative 2(+9)
Highs: Sticking with a great player
Lows: Losing.
THE @#$%ETH HAPPENETH
ROUND TWO: DS
My next opponent is Michael Raveling and he is sporting his WYS. Oh crap. I get to face another extremely high rated player. He begins with his smuggles around Tatooine and I fortify the audience chamber. Bad move, I should have brought the smack to the smugglers. Too late. He whips me in several battles and begins huge drains. I try and get things going and nothing is happening. This sucks ass.
FL-23
Cumulative 2(-14)
Highs-Watching Yannick Lapointe inflict a 14-battle destiny game winning battle next to me.
Lows- Getting raped.
THE @#$% CONTINUES
ROUND TWO: LS
Well, my LS deck worked well first round so I am expecting the same to happen this game. Well, that is not what is about to happen. He is playing TDIGATT Ties (His name was Scott Diehl or something Diehl, sorry I forgot.). This is bad from the beginning. He quickly gets Sienar Fleet Systems and I get my men on the ground. The only problem that is coming up is the fact that I have one ship: Home One. Well, I go to challenge with Home One with Haashn, Mirax and a scrub for forfeit fodder. He Barriers and comes like the wrath of God next turn. The site on my side is cleared. I keep up the retrieval however a mental mistake costs me 5 force when I dont remember where my 6 is. The game ends with him draining me for 8. Ow.
Highs-None
Lows-Everything
FL-20
Cumulative 2(-34)
The standings as of this point are:
1. Clint Hays
2. Steven Lewis
3. Johnny Chu
4. Steven "I AM AWESOME" Kuperman
5. Graham Neal
I have several options, the best looks to be dropping, however I will go on as long as Kupe continues his domination. This will be cool if he stays up there. Good luck to Kupe. We are halfway done at this point and right now I am roasting in the upper levels of Cyberia. At this point I decide not to write anymore in Cyberia. I am just fed up with everything. This whole thing sucks the big monkey right now.
SCRUBBING OUT
ROUND THREE: DS
So, I decide not to drop. Well, here we are. The losers area. My 5th opponent is Ian Merriman (sp?) of the Wisconsin crew. He is running his version of TIGIH against my Prodigy deck. This game is gonna be good times for me. The game proceeds quickly and I set up quickly and then draw. The play of the game is having IG-88 w/Gun, 4-lom with gun, Xizor, Ephant Mon and Mighty Jabba come to pay Luke a visit. Needless to say that was a big turning point right there. There isnt much to do when Luke and 17 are needed to satisfy the Battle Damage. The retrieval isnt as much as it could have been, but oh well. The game is quick to finish.
FW +30
Cumulative 4(-4)
Highs: The crew brought the smackdown
Lows: None
THE LIGHTER SIDE OF HELL
ROUND THREE: LS
Well, I get another Wisconsin crew member at this time (which is around 9 PM.) Evan is a good guy who took me to the bank when the crew and I went to Wisconsin for a tournament. So, I am running my TIGIH scouts deck versus his ISB deck. We set up our various ways of play and go from there. I battle as much as possible (I think twice) and give him Luke for the direct damage. It is near the end of the game when I grab my ears and yank my head out of my butt at the time when I read Lt. Blounts game text. I am such a moron (Or as Clint Hays would say A_SS.) The game turns out to be quite close and we take a good deal of time. Somehow my ignorance didnt cost me this game and I win with a drainout right before he gets me.
FW +4
Cumulative 6(0)
Highs: Winning and playing a really nice guy.
Lows: None
BLACK HOLE SUN WON"T YOU COME NEVER MIND JUST KILL ME
ROUND FOUR: LS
I was in the money, I had three wins, and I can go 5-3 and make a positive note in the day out of this experience. "Paul Motz Light Chris Praksac Dark" Oh crap...I get to play an extremely quality player again. Ouch. Well he is playing MKOS Skrillings. Needless to say I am not happy about this. Well, the game starts out quick with him getting his guys out ASAP to the Palace. I keep forgetting to move Luke out of Chief Chirpas hut and hit him for 2 a turn instead of one (this goes for about 5 turns which could have been vital in this game) Anyways, I get down to Jabbas Palace with my crew and try and bring it. I win the battle, but I lost the war. The turn after he lays into me and I never regain my position. I got close, but not close enough.
FL 13
Cumulative 6(-13)
Highs-Sticking with a 2000 rated player
Lows-Losing
IVE FOUND HIM IVE GOT JESUS IN THE TRUNCK!
ROUND FOUR: DS
Well, the end is near and it is almost time to hit the road and listen to George Carlin. For those who are not aware, the title of this section is a bumper sticker that he likes. Anywho, my last opponent is Frank Amador, a fellow DePaul student. He and I have been chatting throughout the day on how this WYS deck of his actually works, and low and behold we play each other. Well, I set up as quickly as possible at the court and start my draining and he begins his drains in space. I bring my crew and try and take it too him in the special region and this is not a good idea (He is running a WYS Freighter Quad Cannons deck) I win the battle with Bossk and Zuckuss in their ships but I lose both of them to cannon fire. But he has to lose a few from the deck so it is all good. However, the mass space race continues and then he comes to the ground and flips the objective. He comes to the Cantina and battles Djas Puhr and he takes Djas and a lot more, but a Ghhk is waiting in the wings. Well, my drains for 3 combined with me battling in the Cantina cost him four a turn. I have first strike out, but he has Aim High which is a pain in the tuckuss. However, he continually is canceling my battles in the Cantina because I would destroy him. He does this with Artoo, Hero of a thousand devices, a Baragwin, and that darn Fire Extinguisher. This continues for several turns until the last turn arrives. He has 5 cards left (by this time I am spread to 4 Tatooine sites draining for one a turn since his objective cancels Gallid) I drain for 4 and the initiate battle. Game to me, barely, I have two cards left Whew.
FW +2
Cumulative 8(-11)
THE POST TOURNAMENT
NOW THE FUN BEGINS
Well, since we are all from Chicago we have a drive to get to. So the three of us (Steve has since gone 1-3 in the final four games and was out of the running) leave ASAP in the Motzmobile (The good ol Yukon) well, we put the windows down, cranked up the JAY-Z and proceeded to leave. This continues on until I pull a turn onto a one way street in the wrong way. A bus was none too happy with me. Well, we finally get on our way after a stop for gas. We arrive in our home away from home: Dennys. We arrive and we are famished. We quickly order and get to the business of the tournament debrief. Kuperman is happy with himself since the people he lost too are not that shabby (I mean who is Steven Lewis after all? Needless to say the loss to him didnt hurt all that badly) He was proud of his defeat of TJ Holman (The eventual winner of the event) so we are all in happy spirits. The food arrives quickly and I continually comment on how good the waitress looks. Maybe those who also frequented the place could give me an opinion of the skinny blonde in the light blue shirt (not those other shemale beasts of waitresses mind you) Well, we get on the road after a while and I quickly peg the speedometer to 95 and we make it home in about 85 minutes. It was a good trip, we were all tired. We need to sleep. This has been a fun time, to all those who read this far I am sorry. Thanks, and peace out.
Passing Out,
Paul "Vollerian" Motz