bastardized-kfc

Title: bastardized-kfc
Author: Ronnie "AD-fig" Wilcox
Date: Mar 29, 2001

*warning no notes were taken and the games are short*

Well this tourny was held on Sunday the 25 this month by the TD known as Terry. It was planned to have four sealed and four open as usual with the sealed being based around hoth and a new hope seeing as his first type like this was popular. And seeing as i won the light for that one i decided to go to this one. The prizes were for highest light obi wan and anakins saber and for dark bossk in hounds tooth foil and iggy with gun. Plus for the open there was a foil masterful move and signal. of course it was about time that australia got the foils and that but there like a month late!!!!
Pretourny shanannigans:
Well it all starts friday with the playtesting we head to australia on collins and i meet Adam Amy there and Luca shows up. Adam shows off the new mara jade foil he just got from a pack which was cool cause the ultra rare foils arent seen that often here. Of course I was testing my rats deck and an isb, as well as my friends ominous ties and hb deck. Well I didnt do to well in a few of these games. Although i did manage to get my isb deck to win against a shield deck. Anyway we head to the KFC where we decided to get food. Well we wait in the line and as soon as its lucas turn the b!tch behind the counter decides its time to cook her furburger or something so shes gone for a while and were waiting people are coming and going and were waiting so Luca asks the guy thats going through puberty earning 8 bucks an hour where the hell she went and he tells us shes making stock and well be about ten minutes. This is the part that we pick up the "tell us your opinion of our service" survey and realise to tick Poor in every item and b!tch about the service we have no pen! duh! so we joke about it and laugh and thats when luca tells me to call my tr bastardized kfc. Of course everyone knows that kfc stands for Kills Fu_cking children. So we go wait in another que and as soon as it gets to my turn the b1tch playing with her furburger gets back to serve. Anyway we get back eat the sh!t food and playtest some more. We all leave peacefully. I get home knowing my decks need fixing. When i reach my driveway i see my friends in there Kombi sleeping cause they had a ’shesh’. Somehow they had some left so i go forget about my troubles for a while. Next day nothing happened except that i ran out of time cause i had another ’shesh’(well weve had a ’shesh’ everyday this week so dont expect the tr to be big) that night and didnt make my decks up. Well the day arrives and i grab a whole bunch of garbage and throw that together and call it my light side. as for dark i had my bastardized hunt down thrown together and put like 6 visages and a counter assault in thier. No closed games cause they sucked ok. thank you.

Game 1 My light side that was 60 cards that happened to be the closet thing together at 6 in the morning vs john lampes ral ops.
Well this guy keeps saying that i wont write a tr if he beats me. Well i know his deck well cause he plays with it every time cause he never swaps his decks plus he doesnt know how to wipe his a$$ either but who cares. so I know ive lost already but i try to make my deck work. I guess im distracted cause hes wearing some lacy lingere he just bought from some brothel, he told me he got it cheap cause it was used and you could tell cause of the jiz stains. Yeah he starts ral ops and uses pd to get iao, mob points and he trys to start visage so i whack him on the head with a dead mullet and he starts battle order i start wys inserection, insight, and i dont know my third effect but whatever it was it does nothing but it is immune and it deploys on table and its my third effect. Well i take ralitir over and delay his flip for a turn. He then jumps on the table and does his little queer dance with rice on his a$$ and he steps on ralitir I laff. I do something stupid and i lose the game. 0(-?)

Game 2 my hunt down vs mwyhl by michael??
he starts some stuff and loses heaps to drains he actually flips but cause of chybc he gets nothing back and i win.
Well that basically tells you everything that happened in this game except for this:
During the game he puts endor back door some ewogs and chewie, I then have to take control of this location so i come with iggy dont battle cop a drain of three then use sniper cause he has four characters put one to the used pile drop xizor battle capture another i draw a 7 take over the site. he uses test four to get chewie back, drops him and solo battles i capture han he loses chewie and thats about it i drain and he has a force left loses to visage and i win.
2(??)

Game 3 my excuse for a brain cell vs bhbm ties by lee pullen
well this game was weird cause he was draining and i was too i took over the wakameal system and was stuck at parsec 8. he dropped janus and merrijk to executor docking bay. I saved force and dropped thier for twelve lando and ax chewie and talon exclude janus smack the schnitzel out of merryjerk. he drops vader to fight and i fallen portal vader and smack janus for some. I win by some.
4(??)

game 4 my dark vs rods ebo.
I lost this game by like 7 and mustve missed like about ten turns of draining and heaps of visage damage cause i was looking at these girls with t!ts the size of a wild rhino. (can i say tits?) anyway there was not much happening so i wont tell you cause its pointless and boring.it went something like this. he drains i forget he drains i drain he drains i forget he drains i drain he drains i forget he drains i drain. no battles cept for arcona run away scam. mara ran under the shield and did nothing but it looked funny!! as i said i lost.
4(i think i ended on like +6)

Anyway luca got the masterful move and the little kid got the signal which someone then swapped him for a r1 foil. The raffle prize was drawn by adam amy who only played in the open. Everyone was bribing him cause hes good when using leesub sirin cause he always seems to get it right. I yell out and remind him that i loaned him epp obi foil and a bothan spy and tell him to pick me so he picks and its me! yay I finally have marker 6 and the rest.

Oh yeah we had the r1 foils as prizes and everyone got to pick them of course when it was my turn there was only what seemed to be sh!t left so to all the cheers of what to take i took the DS trench!!!!!! RAR

Plops
Adam for drawing my name
Luca for winning
Terry for the tourny
DS trench, cause im going to blow up the death star next tourny!!
Girls for having that warm place that always seems to be open.
Leigh for loaning me 2 visages, mara, emp palpy foil, lord vader, choke vader and everything else u loaned.
John Lampe for single handedly taking out 22 old people on the escalator by turning the power off and making them walk up steps which resulted in about 677 frail old bones being broken and 5 artifical hips being replaced.
Tram drivers that miss the stops!
Cows that go moo
Frakenbok - The bok fu_ckin’ rock

Slops
Oprah for being racist
Jiz stains
Cows that go bow wow
big kev stain remover
KFC - making people wait, making people fat, slave labourers and being scum bags to boot.
Wampa ruling in the tourny im sure that the wampa eats dark side characters and stuff so how come he said they dont cause i had no one and he had like two scrubs and a wampa so it has to attack his characters only bubo and worrt attack only one side.

Thanks for reading this far