geoff-forgets-his-belt-joliet-4-14
Title: geoff-forgets-his-belt-joliet-4-14
Author: Geoff "gsiva" Snider
Date: Apr 14, 2001
i get to this store in Joliet where Ron Fonck is supposed to be running the tournament, and it’s pretty freakin’ large. my pants are falling down again. i go in the store and they have so much STUFF. i would never actually buy any of this stuff, but hey...i gotta give them credit for having so much stuff. they had models boats, trains, planes, cars, birds, giraffes, warhammer 40k/fantasy/mordheim/necromunda/BFG, ALL rpgs, ALL board games, ALL card games, ALL dice, and everything you could ever want to use to paint things, assemble stuff, whatever...you name it they had it.
so i walk in and i’m like...okay there’s alot of stuff and no Ron. more stuff...more stuff...more stuff....RON! BAM there was everyone in the back corner of the store in this little room with 4 tables and there was all this ...well...STUFF piled up against the walls. these guys were not kidding around with their stock. so much STUFF. i’m like "where’s the bathroom" and they’re like "over there" and i’m like "that door says ’do not enter’ so should i go in it?" and they’re like "sure man." so i go in there and i really have to go, but there are like a sh1tload of model boats all over the place and i can’t even walk...so i have to clear a path to the toilet.
AND THEN there’s no toilet paper...so i’m thinking that i’m just going to have to pinch it all day because knowing irresponsible gamers, they never have a re-stock of toilet paper just when you need it. i go to the dude at the front counter and i’m like "do you have any more toilet paper?" and he immediately gets this frown on his face and stares me down and says "why? what did you do????" and i’m like "nothing yet, but if you give me some toilet paper there won’t be any messes to clean up!" and he’s like "okay, good" and i get 2 new rolls. amazing.
so i have to clear another path through the freakin’ marina in the bathroom and i sit down...nevermind, you don’t want to know.
the tournament starts...i’m playing the same two freakin’ decks that i’ve had since ... since... right before DPC normal. BHBM beats (aka the blitzkrieg II) and Hidden phil.
game 1 DS vs. eric palomar
he gets a first turn flip, which is kinda limiting my generation a bit, but i’ve got battle plan to slow him down. i’m ever so slowly losing 2/turn to melas in the cantina, but when i finally begin my assault on TAT:db94, i get my force gen up, win a battle or two, and set up at tat:system ...and then rendili and rendili’s <>Dbay. he’s running little or no space, and so i can pitch my other Imp.SD’s. he spreads to the CC: dbay and i come and fight him there. win more battles, get more drains going...i’m burning more and more of my deck, and i’m making little headway, but i think i beat him down for like 5 cards in one battle, so that evened it out. i end up winning the drain race because of battle plan.
fw 2 (+7)
game 2 LS vs. dude playing huntdown no-duel, and miyoom x2-3 (or something like that)
i slowly set up after cancelling visage early, and then i have to keep my hand size pretty large because of miyoom...which is really odd...’cause he didn’t play monnok used to get my hand size down at all, PLUS he just sat at one of his two docking bays and drained for 2. eventually i get my hand size down ...after miyoom manages to take out 6 characters in one fell swoop, but 2x OTEdge gets all those back...and then some. i end up retrieving alot more from OMDH, and then i drain him out with Kessel and Coruscant.
fw 4 (+31)
game 3 LS vs. dude playing SYCFA/ties (interceptors w/guns)
i get a decent start, and jedi-scout luke comes to the DS:dbay to kill marrejk. i take over coruscant and wakeelmui, which kinda puts him in a jam because he’s running tie squadrons which deploy for some ungodly large amount (+8 or something). he starts to run around in space with a dreadnaught and a couple ties, but even the dread. costs him like...10 force because i have coruscant and aquaris. heh. he’s just like "damn what do i do" or something like that. oh well. i run around alot more after flipping, and he eventually probes my base...and then starts this silly tie to the DS:dbay attacking me and retrieving or some sh1t like that...so i just drain him for like 7/turn and that’s game.
(highlight of this game was when the dude probed CORUSCANT...heh)
fw 6 (+50)
game 4 DS vs. Al schaeffer’s new-age throne room w/offtheedge&ontheedge
al was not a believer in the big blue blitz, but i’ve since made him one. many people say "why don’t you play GURI?" and i’m like "duh!"
so al goes first and drops mirax to H1:dbay, i get emperor to the DS2:dbay, and i get huge force on turn two, getting like...ship + 3 guys to rendili. then i go to the <>dbay on rendili w/igar and cabbel (after playing battle deployment to get a ***blizzard walker from reserve). al comes for the beats with chewie/protector, epphan, eppleia, and harc seff (good for me, bad for you!). he draws a 1 (which cabbel makes a 0) and then i almost forget that battle deployment is cool as hell, but i remember, and then win the battle...and he loses chewie or something. i come back for the beats with another walker and 2 more pilots...draw 3 destiny...and that’s like...it. he loses them and like 5 or 6. NOTICE TO ALL: fallen portal was not played in ANY game i played in today! WHY?: walkers, my friends, walkers. there are a few more short skirmishes, and i win some more battles...and vader captures luke near the end...and then al retrieves like...5 or so with OnTEdge, and then i beat up ackbar or something to finish it off.
fw 8 (+72??)
game 5 LS vs. Al schaeffer’s hdadtj w/ stuff (no duels)
he gets a decent start going, but i cancel visage. battle plan slows him down, and i’m able to get some good force gen up and running before he can get fully established. blount goes and sits in front of dlots, and IT’S A TWAP! damn that’s a cool card. now i’ve got tons of force, some protection for the outrider at aquaris, and i dump like 6 characters on vader and ig-88. MAJOR MISTAKE. i check for a scout w/crix and see 1-1-2-0-1-5. there is NO WAY i’m going to beat vader off the site w/out cutting him, so i just transit them all over to janus/emperor at the CC:dbay (it’s a bigger drain to block anyways). i flip hidden base and drop a ship a kessel and then go to coruscant. i start draining for like...6, and then out comes the bounty hunter space contingent...probing here-there-everywhere...outrider is running away...on the edge...OMDH for 13 (because everyone possible is on the table) and that’s pretty much game. emperor gets cut, janus gets cut, ig-88 dies, vader gets cut, search and destroy is cancelled, and he has to pay 3 to drain in space because of battle plan. he finally probes the base...but it’s too late.
fw 10 (+90)
game 6 DS vs. Eric Olson’s RTP (yes, it’s RTP..and it’s not bad...believe it or not)
we’d played this matchup a week before, and he barely edged it out and like...beat my by 2 (order to engage is a b1tch...and placing people out of play...AND retrieval...AND rontos...AND all this other crap...especially when leia adds a destiny (and then 2 to attrition) and ben kenobi is reviving everyone...)
so i’m like "olson, i’m going to get chiraneau in my opening hand and you’re going to lose" and he’s like "yep, that would be bad" and i’m like "uh-huh" and he’s like "and CHYBC will f uck me" and i’m like "breakfast is good" and he’s like ...nevermind.
i go first, getting emperor to the ds2:dbay, and then rendili, and then whatever...blah. he drops corran horn to the DS2:throne room...BLECHH!!! i hate that crap. so anyways, i get thunderflare, the time for our attack has come, chiraneau and godherdt to rendili on turn 2. turn 3 i fortify at the rendili <>dbay. turn 4 i fortify at the DS:dbay. turn 5 i fortify at the Y4:dbay. i’ve got walkers all over, and i’m draining for about 4-5 total a turn. he forced me to take luke with vader early, as well as freeing the princess and draining for 4 at the Det.block corridor and 2 at the throne room...until i’m like BIGGITY BAM LOOK AT THAT IT’S COME HERE YOU BIG PHIL!! and olson’s like "you suck" and i’m like "get f ucked." so he retrieved like...4 from rescuing her..and gets ben kenobi and some other shiznit out on me and flips and starts battling with rontos (b1tch!) and i’m getting guys placed out of play, and he’s down to 3, but SOMEHOW MANAGES TO GET F UCKING DEATH STAR PLANS OFF WITH 8D-F’N-8 for like 15...but at that point he has no cards in hand, i’m draining for 8/turn, and all he can do is battle me (to make me lose 1 from my own first strike) and i’m losing 1/turn from vader holding luke (which really stinks because palpatine had to flee under possible threat of an order to engage to the rendili docking bay...cornhole/wedge/orrimarko were getting very scary looking over there with the possibility of a 6 destiny backing them up). the risky move on my part (because i know he’s running SURPRISE ASSAULT) was moving ds-181-3 and ds-61-mofo to the yavin iv war room...but it panned out in the end. win by 7
fw 12 (+97) (??i think??)
so i get a $20 gift certificate to the store where they had the tournament and i get a masterphil move...+ i get to sign some "i won a tournament here" plaque that they keep in the front of the store. good stuff...and thanks for running the tournament.
i don’t usually hand out compliments left and right, but for RON, i do. he’s by far the BEST tournament director ever, getting this 6 game tournament done in just over 5 hours. ron will be running illinois states next saturday..so that’s pretty cool...’cause you don’t f uck with the FONCK! yeah.
olson and i discussed breakfast. al didn’t say much at applebees, but he just stared at the hottie waitresses roaming around. they had BY FAR the most # of hottie waitresses i’ve EVER SEEN in one applebees at the same time....which was kinda funny, ’cause as soon as we walked in the door at like 5pm, there were like 8 of them just staring right at us, and my F UCKING PANTS WERE FALLING OFF ME!!! dammit. i hate that sh1t. i can win a freakin’ tournament, but NOOOOO!!! i can’t even remember to wear a
f ucking belt.
breakfast is good.
later all.
geoff