8-is-great-at-ma-states-deck-steebo

Title: 8-is-great-at-ma-states-deck-steebo
Author: michael "Deck" Gemme
Date: Apr 16, 2001

States!
Holy sugar daddy, states was big - preparation for states was far bigger as me, Steebo Baroni, and Johnny Vegas had all decided to play the same decks a few weeks in advance. I was stuck up at school with no cards other than my decks from my last tournament, so all i could do to get ready was write down tons of stuff in all my classes and ask steebo about situations and stuff while he playtested.

So i head home the wednesday before states and playtest with steebo, he has made a new dark and a new light he wants to try now, and they work pretty well so we say we will play them. Friday rolls around and we play all day, go to superchinese Buffet and get wasted on egg rolls and soy sauce, and we come up with the name of his tie deck - Tie Rolls and Tallon sauce. Its a tie rolling deck that plays 8 of the combo cards and 4 of each OTSD tie and 4 scythe Ties. We playtest Friday night with Johnny Vegas and his friend Aaron, ultimately deciding to play a better version of Avatar’s QMC, by better i mean heavier in space as we use Two Ten Numbs, two intruder missiles and Rapid fire - and renamed the deck appropriately to "Ten Numb Superstar" after the brangus glee superstar deck (obviously). Then its time for the Brownie.

I beleive in the brownie, because its all mental.. if you read clint’s articles about the brownie, the concept is all karma. The brownie is karma, and if you eat the brownie, there is your karma. So the four of us show up to dennys and steve has a coupon to get a free brownie from the last time we went before the infamous Playstation 2 tournament. However steve makes a bet with me on the gametext of imperial command for the price of one brownie, and of course he loses becuase i never lose a bet, and i get the free brownie. Now steve decides that he is too good (and too cheap) to buy two brownies (which cost 2.63), so he doesnt get one, and sticks to eating a BLT. Since it was my second experience with the brownie, i took it down easily without aid of a beverage. Johnny and Aaron struggled the whole way, i clearly finished with the cleanest plate and proved to do the best out of all the brownie eaters the next day. On a side note, for a dennys the waitress was bangin! she was like 18 thin, pretty cute, cute voice, really sweet, and had all her teeth! But then again we were in dennys where the other waitresses, including the "toothless wonder" who served us our brownie last time, are terrible looking - so even my hairy @#$% was looking pretty hot to all the citizens eating at dennys at 1am on a friday night.

Me and steebo prepare our decks and go to bed after talking and stuff. We saw Hayes Hunters decktech page that day and were pissed how @#$%y he was even though he did have the best shot of winning, at least when im @#$%y its wicked funny because i am not expected to win.

Daylight breaks and we are up at the buttcrack of dawn, print out the official decipher decklists (we needed it’s numbered list becuase steebo got DQ’d at worlds because he cannot count to 60). We fight with my dog as he tries to eat our decklists, our eggo waffles and our four ten numbs, before taking the outrider (my brand new 2k1 navy jetta) to its first tournament ever, and the biggest in our region this year. We show up and friggin jimmEH scheimer was sick and didnt show up so i was pissed becuase he is Puscheimer Thryss and a good kid, funny, and we like him so sorry you couldnt make it jimmEH. But among the players people would recognize are mike scheimer (2000+), Justin H20 Desai (1900+), and Eric Hunter. Steebo is of course a notable, and Hayes was nowhere to be found as he was too busy spiking his hair at home. Me and steebo thought of the great tech of slashing all the hunter’s tires, but then realized that the ultimate tech was that they live 3 minutes walking distance from the venue - and thus would defeat us anyways.. So mrs hunter was glad we decided against slashing tires and putting tacks in the driveway - and then the pairings were called.

My decks - BHBM 7s - 2 copies of every 7. is a machine. only weakness is ebo and hbx. Brian hunter : you may hate BHBM and say it does nothing, and i respect that but this one wins, go look at it when i post it. its called BRING HIM UP THE ANUS

Ten Numb Superstar - the Afore mentioned QMC dedicated space.

Game 1 - my Dark vs Ross Arok’s EBO MONCALS

FCUK me up the goat @#$% becuase if you havent played EBO moncals, youre lucky as this deck SUCKS to play against. First turn i get out Emporer and Janus with operational as planned to pluck down a seven. Next turn i get Vader out, he gives me Scout Luke (Big Mistake) and sends him to duel with emporer (bigger mistake). So he sets up moncals and stuff at the rendevous point, and drops dash and jaoren webb to the echo sites. I drop IG88 afraid of ice storm and move over. He drops EPP Obi and puts out EBO I move in for the kill. I stick mara at the spaceport Dbay to drain and duel for a few turns while i battle a bunch of his guys, use the emporers power, capture obi wan and beat up dash and jaoren and he loses a bunch and stacks a card. I drop another IG and boba fett to the EPP obi that joined Boush at the fourth marker and battle, emporers power, capture obi wan shoot leia draw 3 destiny 5,7,7 he loses mad force and stacks a card. Now this whole time hes been draining me in space with mad moncals at two systems, kessel and coruscant. So im taking a drain of six, but hes losing three to a duel every turn. However now two cards are stacked, i put down cards with operational as planned and janus, track a 5,1 to lose a duel to his tracked 6 and a three. flip a 7 and i win... in about 15 minutes. However the Moncal Drains hurt me bad and i only win by 13. Just enough to put me out of contention to play a really good player right?? wrong...
FW 2 (+13)

Highs: beating a deck i didnt think i could, crossing luke.
Lows : Accidentally putting Search & Destroy in my used pile when i deployed it, i think i thought it was destiny or something. oh well.

Baroni won by like 36 or something crazy with his ties, Hayes beat the Gov’na Celluci by 39. Justin H20 Desai won, and defending champ eric hunter got the bye. lucky bastard

Pairings get called and Rob Rowdy tells Erik Markarian to come on down and play my light deck. However, markarian tells rob rowdy to call my momma and tell her that he’s playing Dark Side SAC against my interrupt dependant QMC. Rob gladly calls my momma as they used to date and he has the number still, and i play game 2.

Game 2 vs markarians DS BHBM Beats with Sac
This game sucked
I controlled bespin, he wouldnt come there to save his life, i tried to pay him to deploy the executor there ( he had pulled it with mob points ) against ten numb, but he wouldnt. So i said @#$% and tried to take some sites at the ground, only he controlled 3 of 5 cloud city sites, and came to beat me down at another. I play dodge he says sac i say @#$% he wins the game. As hes counting his cards i ask him how big his momma’s penis is, and he says its about as big as 27 starwars cards stacked together
FL by 27
2(-14)

Highs: controlling space??
Lows : All things that dont involve controlling space.

Baroni loses to hayes by alot, he shouldve eaten the brownie. Steebo had a shot at going to the duel twice, and he boned it by losing. Justin won big, and Eric hunter won small, as to avoid playing Hayes.

Pairings are called and it turns out im playing light again

Game 3 My Light vs. Alex’s Court Deck
So hes playing court and im like "Steebo the court ping is going to kill me" and me and steve bust a gut laughing for like 10 minutes, i start coughing and alex doesnt know whats going on so i pull out my stuff and we begin playing. I set up in bespin with han in falcon. I put luke down and tawss and corran horn down at some sits and start celelbrating early cause of the court ping. He puts jabba and boelo and ephant mon to the chamber, but no galid. I start with battle plan, menace fades and squadass anyways so its no big deal with or without galid. Anyways he tries to come to the city del clouds, and he cant touch me cause im pathing and run luke running and draining. He comes to bespin with zuckuss bossk jabba’s cruiser, epp fet and 4lom, god knows how he got that much force. He battles i lose han to his attrition and he loses boba fett to attrition, celebration goes lost. THen i drop wedge and ship and ten numb in ship with an intruder missile and battle, play rapid fire to put down the xwing cannon from my reserve. use three force to shoot down zuckuss to go lost, fire the intruder missile and hit bossk. He didnt realise that the cruiser had no pilot thus no forfeit, zuckuss was gone so 4lom added jack sheeet and he lost big time in that space war. From there i celebrated and beat him down and draiend in the city to win by 20.
4(6)

Steve wins again, Hayes beats justin big time. Eric wins again. We dont get a lunch break which is BS so me justin and the numb brothers head to mconalds and back in about 20 minutes. I makced it to this girl in a jeep at a stoplight while i waited outside for them to show up. Without steebo adding 2 to the hyperspeed of my outrider we barely made it back in time to eat and get ready for the next pairings that were round four. Which pitted me against Hidden Mains HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAAAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA
*breathe*
HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHHHAHHAHHHAHHAHAHAHAH

Game 4 my Dark vs HB Mains of Stephen P

My bHBM eats hidden mains for breakfast, lunch, and with its coffee after dinner. Hidden mains cant beat my dark deck, it just cant. okay maybe it can but still... I set up emporer and janus and blast door controls turn one like a good boy and he goes, deploys the home one docking bay, i pray he drops someone alone there but he doesnt ( i was holding mara and IG ). So i go and drop vader, my turn he gives me scout luke, and says ptu him at the throne room, i do and go. THis is my dumb move, the only one all tournament. well the next turn he drops han leia and obi wan with orrimarko to the spaceport dbay. and i think im all smooth by set for stunning luke, but vaders not at a BG so this doesnt hurt him, and it hurts me as i have to move luke to a BG before getting him back! So i couldve SFS obi and beat down, instead i dropped Mara, IG and EPP Fett, battled, emporers power, capture leia, shoot obiwan - four destiny 7,7,7,7 - he loses huge and stacks a card, he gets han back cause i lose IG to attrition. Next turn he drops luke and obi, battles i play emporers power, shoot someone, draw some destinies he stacks a card. my turn i finally get luke back after battling and winning again, now i have a third card stacked so i only have to draw a five to cross him. He goes does pretty much nothing, then stupidly sends scout luke and vader to the chamber, my turn i drop everything in my hand via reactor terminal. Draw two untracked ones to duel. shuffle shuffle 5 i cross him. Win in about 5 minutes. I tell him that My reserve deck is about the size of erik markarian’s mommas penis, which everyone knows is about 27 starwars cards stacked high.
FW by 27
6(33)

So im looking pretty good, justin hayes eric and steve all won again and i get pitted against stephen celucci. I see the pairing early on but dont know what deck of his i’d be playing, hes playing HBX and who knows what else but al li know is that i cannot beat hBX. Unluckily i face his HBX

Game 5 vs Stephen teh guvnah celluci’s HBX

He sets up at Rpoint, i decide to hold vader and spread out with my other guys as i dont want to take the force loss from my objective. He sets up at kessel and coruscant and i am scrweed as hes draining me for 3 and cancelling my drains. I keep drawin til i get the flagship, bossk and zuckuss and thrawn. I get intimidated by the home one, and go after the spiral and 6 xwings with bossk and thrawn and the executer , draw mad destiny win the battel but lose bossk, he battles i stick around as he draws a 0 for destiny or something and i win another battle. However i lost mad cards by now to drains and im stuck at corsucant and already have a diminished life force. He spreads and drains everywhere and i slowly lose. I did put down vader near the end and he lost a bunch of force to the objective but he still cleaned my clock as he pulled off an all wings and beat me by 28.
FL by 28
6(5)

I’m pretty pissed at this point and i go play pool. Steebo and justin are both 4-1 hayes and eric are 5-0 but they are playing the same sides, Steebo plays hayes again, justin plays someone and eric hunter plays ric gaudioso. The pairings on this round messed up because Kris and Steve thought they were missing to command cards, which they were but they were too dense to realize there was a game going on next door. And of course i knew renee still had a game going because i like to know everything when a tournament is going on and i have a major crush on renee anyways ;) HAHA anyways i yell out before the pairings that renee is playing next door and Kris goes over there and realizes that that much is true, and we announce that i will take over as squadron member from now on.. yeah right.

Game 6 my QMC vs. jeremy’s TDIGWATT - force pikes and royal guards
I set up in space early and he never challenges me so i spread in space. He is controlling sites, all with one guard and either emporer, mara and vader. The one with mara doesnt have a force pike. He tries to battle my tawss khaa and melas with two royal guards, i have luke next door chillin so i Run luke run him and smack a lone royal guard, i barriered the other. i lost luke, and on my turn i dropped luke and obi epp’s to mara and smacked her. pathed out and started celebrating for 3. He tried to battle me more but i had already caused so much draining in space (at his cloud city not mine) and celebrating that he couldnt do anything. i couldve beat him down with a run luke run but i let him battle me and just dodged away so i could keep retreiving until he drew up, and i had 29 cards left in my force pile.
FW by 29
8(+34)

So i did well for a scrub with a 1627 rating coming in 8th. Steve lost to hayes again and came in 6th overall. Hayes and eric went to the duel and hayes ended up winning, im sure you’ve read his report. i wrote in the book of tech during the duel and talked to mrs. Hunter about life and love and drugs and relationships.

Now here is the important stuff:
the top 9

Hayes Hunter
Eric Hunter
Justin Desai
Stephen Cellucci
Mike Scheimer
Steebo Baroni
Erik Markarian
Mike Gemme <Deck>
Rick Gaudioso

Now eric hunter said something disheartening to me, he said " i think its not mike gemme who did well, its mike gemme with good decks" this took alot for me not to kick the piss out of him because the kid never goes to school and hes hurtin himself in the long run and i try to encourage him to get over what he deals with and go to school, and im always there for the kid, and he does something like that and says this to my face. I walk away like a good boy.

All week people have been saying "not bad" about my finish but screw that i am a scrub and i took everyone at states to school. the only games i lost, i couldnt win no matter what. I played well and maybe im not the number one guy, or the guy with the best rating - but i played like a hunter this weekend and i am damn proud of it so screw off if you think youre holier than thou. because my car is far cooler than yours HA! anyways enough dishing time to give props and slops

Props
Hayes for winning
Eric for coming in second
Steebo for being my boy
Justin for third
Celluci for being the Gov’na
Johnny Vegas for being mad chill
The outrider
the numbs
Aaron for playing my dark deck
Brian C for being a champ and giving me closed doors
The Brownie for making me win games
Everyone who helped me tech out that was from out of state
Kris earle and steve anderson for running 3 states at once
Everyone for liking the book of tech alot

Slops
The brownie for making my feces turn into gravel the next day
Eric for saying what he said
Mike Scheimer for cheating again
Justin for not playtesting with us like a homo
No lunch break
HBX and BHBM Sac