a-weekend-with-kyle-craft
Title: a-weekend-with-kyle-craft
Author: Hayes "Hayes" Hunter
Date: Jun 27, 2001
This was a long weekend that I’m still recovering from, truth be told. As such, this will be a long read... so go on and indulge yourself, thats right, kick off your shoes, put your feet up, lean back, and just enjoy the melodies, after all, music soothes even the savage beast. Go Offspring.
It actually all started back at DecipherCon, after hanging out with Kyle. A bunch of us decided he should come out here for RamapotatoCon, or we’d head out his way or something during the summer. Anyway, because he’s a big important camp councilor he has to work like the entire summer we had to shift things around a little. So one night at like 11 I get a call and he’s like, "I’m coming in 2 weeks, pick me up at the airport." Apparently, while @#$%ing around on Price Line, he managed to buy himself a round trip ticket to Boston with the money he got out of DPC Vegas. So Thursday the 17th of May is the day.
Thursday rolls around and I’m counting the hours until I can switch out of school mode. I hit my single, and final class and we spend most of the time discussing run ins with the police, as opposed to reviewing for our final, but it’s sociology so who cares? I get home and get online for a bit, and sooner than later its time for my night class English final. I’m done in record time, but I still have like 3 hours till Kyle Crafts flight gets in at Logan Airport. I pass the time and take off at about 10pm. You’d be surprised how little traffic there is going into Boston on a Thursday night, so despite the calming tunes coming from the Lateralus disk in my CD player I make incredibly good time. Surprisingly enough, I dont get lost once on the trip in. Kyles flight, which was due in at 10:33, was pushed up and then back. He arrives, we say hi, and take off at about 70 mph. Of course, NOW I get lost. 3 times. Boston, at night, with all the road construction and one way streets sucks. After getting back on track we make exceptional time and get home at about 12:30. I show him the L5R deck hell be playing on Saturday while the Twiggs are at states and we hit the sack.
Friday, the 18th of May.
Like a mofo I’m up at 7 or 8 the next morning, so I manage to do everything and anything that could possibly be done before the trip. I pack, I build extra decks, mail stuff to Australia and the Philippines, get gas and donuts... Kyle gets his lazy @#$% out of bed around 10:30 and were off at 11ish. About 20 minutes into the trip I think I forget something, so we pull over but it was nothing and we’re off again. Kyle, like the @#$% he is, just sleeps the whole trip, and were there in about 2 and a half-hours. Well, we get to Malta in 2.5 hours. You see, the Terwilligers arent actually from Albany, or even Ballston Lake, technically, they are from Malta. So stupid Mapquest gave us some assy directions and the whole time we thought we were lost cause we were in Malta, but whatever. We arrive and the Twiggs give us a warm (loud) welcome. They show us their Tatooine cards, but were starving so we head to their Mom’s Taco Bell. Somehow I have a knack for missing moving objects at high speeds, but when it comes to stationary stuff I suck balls. Pulling into the parking lot of the restaurant I actually manage to hit the side of the building as I am parking. No damage is done so just we chow down on Gorditas, Tacos and Fajitas. We soon get a call from Matt Sokol. He comes over with his bro Dan, Mike D’Amboise, and Joe Jigga Gianetti. Basketball time!
Teams are Kyle, all 3 Twiggs, and Dan versus Joe, Matt, Mike, and me in my 80s Converse high tops I borrowed from Mr. T. Matts like NCAA division 3 level C or something so he thinks hes black and does all this gay mid-air @#$% that mostly fails miserably. Things start off pretty evenly. We’d go down the court and score a basket, then they’d go down the other end and score another, but after a little bit of that it became apparent who was in shape and who wasn’t. Not doing Gym Class for 5 years took its toll on me, but since I’m so damned tall I scored like half our baskets. Somewhere in the middle of the game Matt calls Joe "Starfish" and it stuck, mostly cause Kyle couldnt remember his real name. Kyle was just like Hey, "Starfish..." and we’d all burst out laughing so it worked. Its hard to make up a nickname on the spot, you know. We get bored of kicking their asses so we switch to Knock Out. Oddly enough I win the first round, but by the end were all pretty even. Stupid Twigg squirted me with my water bottle, but I can run faster than he can, so he ended up drenched and received much pleasure in telling people he got excited. We headed back to the Twiggs place and started playtesting for the next day. I had my MKOS and Imp Command HDADTJ for dark and a Hidden Mains for light, Kyle was AOBS and @#$%ty WYS, Chris was HDADTJ just like mine and Hidden Mains, and Twigg was TKOS and good WYS with Harvests and plenty of ships. I lost like all my games except one, and Kyle was on fire. Twigg took some losses but was able to tweak the decks and adjust his play style while Chris just sat there kinda staring off into space muttering something about how much light sucks. When I wasnt playing (and even when I was) I was busy entertaining Pumpkin, one of the Twiggs cats.
Time out here to let you know about their pets. They have 2 turtles from Florida that are in a 50 gallon tank, 2 cats, Pumpkin who is white and orange, Sneakers who is gray and white and is pretty old, a funny dog that cant breath very well, and a whole lot of fish. Anyway, back to Pumpkin, this cat is the best. No offense to any female readers (yes, both of you) but most cats are often perceived as being feminine; they are often subject to mood swings, theyre very concerned with their appearance and grooming, and they’re pussies. Well, not Pumpkin. After licking his balls, someone (prolly me) said, "He is God because he can do what we cannot." Hes like a like a playful dog trapped inside a cats body. It doesnt like to be petted, it doesnt purr; it just plays, gets pissed off, and duels. What do I mean by that? Well, any attempt at picking him up will bring his claws out and hell use ’em. Also, periodically, he will initiate (what we have nicknamed) an epic duel with Sneakers. Sneakers will be sitting there, behind a curtain, just looking out the window, or on the stairs watching something in the distance, then all of a sudden Pumpkin will pounce! Pumpkin will absolutely maul Sneakers with the initial attack, but Sneakers always makes an impressive comeback. This leads to much hissing and chasing and clawing, and, of course, much amusement for those of us fortunate enough to catch a glimpse of this spectacle. Things are bad when youre stuck in the middle of the two though, say when youre sleeping. I still have marks from one morning. Anyway, back to the TR.
Friday/ Saturday, the 19th of May.
Twigg has me check his deck list over, and complains that he has 2 secret plans in the deck, yet as far as he can tell the deck list matches the deck and they are both 60. It turned out there were 2 secret plans in both the deck and on the deck list. I dunno, I think it was funnier at 3am. So he gets to add a card and we go to sleep at about 3 or 4am. I get woken up numerous times, once from an epic duel, once from the Twiggs departing for states, and I end up getting out of bed (off the floor) around 10ish. I reorient Kyle with his L5R deck (a game he hasnt played in over 2 years), he showers, but I dont cause we ran out of time, and we are off to the Sword tourney. For those of you who dont know, L5R is a cool game based off of Feudal Japan, so a lot of times prizes for tournaments (in addition to cards and t-shirts) are weapons like Katanas (swords) and Tontos (short swords) or armor like Mempos (masks) and funny hats (funny hats!). This tournament was for a sword, but only 11 people showed up because there was a Kotei (regional) in Toronto and, of course, states in Syracuse. Entry was $10 so we just barely paid for the sword so the TD said we could each pay an extra $5 and if we placed then wed get prizes, if not then wed get nothing. I started the weekend with about $60 and tolls and parking and fast food had eaten up a lot of it, so Kyle and I declined to pay the extra cash. Since I am relatively new to the game, my cards are limited so I was playing my Dan Flavored LSD (I was borrowing Dans deck so Kyle could use mine).
L5R Tourney:
Game One- VS Ben’s Lion
Before the tourney I was begging people for The Sun Returns and other LSD deck components and he mentioned that he thought starting the Akodo sensei was a waste. Well now was my chance to prove him wrong. I dunno what sensei he started, but it didnt effect game play at all. I got out Gunjin first turn off the box with a One Koku. Second turn Imperial Gift popped, so I got the Lion Sword, and I took a province via Tactical Maneuvers. Shortly thereafter my sword came out and I killed another of his provinces, but I couldnt draw any force pumpers so I was just amassing a small army and tons of gold. I ended up sending a decent sized force at him, holding a forced march, but after I won the big battle he just conceded.
1-0
Kyle went up against some guys Crane honor runner, and the guy was all like I was the best Crane player in the state for 3 years and Kyle kicked his ass. It was funny, to say the least. I had some time to kill so I called Twigg’s cell phone to learn that he was 3-0 at this point, as were a good number of people, and that Chris had lost a super close game by like 3 cards!
Game Two- VS Nick’s @#$% Crane
Crane pisses me off. I start Hantei and keep things very close in the honor run. I get out ahead early, for Evil Feeds to take a province. He used To Do What We Must to keep me at bay for a while but my lions managed to get another province and then he started catching up in the honor race with some card that lets him double the honor produced by the Master Painter. Thankfully Imperial Census pops when hes at 33 honor or so, and I win because of it.
2-0
Kyle plays Conner and loses one turn away from an honor victory.
Game Three- VS Conner Alexanders Naga FETA
I’ve only played against FETA once before, but Dans deck had SIS to cancel Finding. I even Hantei the Finding, but he is able to play Amnesia and that other card that lets you ignore a sensei for a turn. Alas, I dont get to attack more than a couple times because of his rises and his gay Nagas that do reaction ranged attacks (all my tacticians have force of like 0 or 2), and I cant find a SIS so he wins with me at like 37 honor.
2-1
Kyle lost another close game against someone I forget.
Game Four- VS Kyles LSD
Great. Fun. Kyle was kicking my @#$% in this match-up last night, but I got a really good start and had made some changes to the deck. I just took many provinces very quickly in true lion fashion.
3-1
I made the cut along with 2 other 3-1 guys and Conner the only undefeated.
Semi Finals- VS Kraigs Dueling Dragon
I start Hantei, but I forget what I named. I got an incredible start with a first turn Imp Gift, then a third turn GSP and Evil Feeds. My tacticians did their thing with Tactical Maneuvers and I won very quickly.
4-1
Finals VS Conners Naga again
I had horrible luck (tis the problem with all games that arent Star Wars). I got no gold first turn and no One Koku so Gunjin couldnt come off the box, all cute and fun. Chrysanthemum Festival pops like it did before and I just cant get what I need to combat him. My SIS were the third and twelfth cards from the bottom :(
4-2
Conner wins it, and I get nothing at all for coming in second. I did some trades and Ray the TD, who is really cool, gave me some free rares. I’ll save the props and slops for the very end (cause I know thats what you want to see: your name in someone elses report!).
Kyle and I hang out for a bit in the Guild. He kicks some scrubs @#$% in SW and I call Twigg again. He’s kinda weird, he just tells me to call back, and I really want to talk to his opponent, but he won’t let me so I finally hang up. Then Kyle and me decide to see The Mummy Returns cause its only 6 and the Twiggs wont be home till like 11. We go to this gay convenient store and get some Ben & Jerry’s Ice Cream but when we ask for spoons the Indian guy gives us those crappy wooden things that are like 2 inches long. I dunno how many Kyle took but he was chewing those things all weekend it seemed. So Cherry Garcia for him and something chocolatey and nutty for me. We find some spoons at the Chinese place and smuggle the quarts in my sweatshirt. The movie was cool, I guess, but the story was lame and it woulda been like 10 times better had the chicks fought topless, but oh well. Movie ends, we get our free mints and we head home.
After talking SW politics with Mr. Terwilliger (who had to go to his daughters dance recital instead of states), the coolest Dad youll ever know, for about an hour and a half, Brian and Chris finally arrive home. Brian is greeted with high fives and congratulations and Chris is consoled. But the night is still young. We pour over the Tatooine cards some more, Kyle checks his Fantasy Baseball like there’s no tomorrow, and I, once again, play with Pumpkin! 2am roles around and all of a sudden the night isnt so young anymore. Sleep comes.
Sunday, the 20th of May.
Sunday. Were all up and showered by 11 and after a couple calls to Matt he agrees to drag his @#$% out of bed to play. We pile into the van and are there roughly on time, but still have to wait for Joe Jigga Starfish Gianetti to show. Im running my Imp Command HDADTJ, which I had led people to believe was dueling (bluff Epic Duel start, and a shift in red cards), and Kyle Crafts 3am version of Hidden Mains, slightly edited. My rating going into the day was 2204.
Game One
HDADTJ VS Joseph/Starfish "Jigga" Gianetti’s (1997) WYS
Since Joe was late and many of the cards from his decks were borrowed for states he had to quickly assemble his deck, and even then was using SOS to proxy LSJK. I get a great start with Palp into the Cantina of the bat. Lord and saber joins him next turn, then on my third turn he kills Vader with a Cantina Brawl. Im actually happy he did this because I was able to drop Old Skool Vader and Tarkin on LSJK’s candy @#$% with an IHYN. From there I just lateral damage the falcon that was floating at Kessel. He makes the mistake of putting Luke on the Falcon later, but I still battle cause I want to clear him off the board. I just dominated this game, but because we started late a lot of people got a look at my deck so the fact that I wasnt dueling wasnt going to surprise anyone.
FW+24
2(+24)
Highs: Beating Starfish!
Lows: Just taking so long, I guess...
Game Two
Hidden Mains VS Ty Hansen’s (1668) COTVG
On his first turn he just deployed the barge and lost to court. I activated, saw what was in my force pile and picked up some, losing to court. He drops Boelo and Old Jabba and saves a force. Down comes Lando w/ Axe, and I cancel the Barrier w/ the Shuffle, then Obi Wan w/ Saber. Jabba is excluded, but I fail to hit Boelo, so he just loses a couple force, one of which was the Sarlacc. He retaliates with IG w/ gun and Dengar w/ Carbine. Lando is captured, and Obi is hit with a blind 7, Jabba is through with me, so Dengar gets a prisoner and I lose 10. I take some time to build my hand, and soon LSJK frees the old man and I kill his barge, all the while evading his second Sarlacc that nearly ate Tawss. Some edges at the end helped pump the differential.
FW+24
4(+48)
Highs: 2 Sarlaccs?!? Who plays 2?!
Lows: That surprise beating for 10
Game Three
HDADTJ VS Matt Gnirke’s (1554) Crap
This kid is apparently a member of the German Mafia, so he and his friend were toting a home made German flag that they created, along with their decks, at 3am. The kid and his friend were acting all weird, but what can you expect from members of the German Mafia living in Malta, NY? Anyway, his deck was literally crap. He started the throne room and nothing else and his deck was contained no red whatsoever. I couldnt find Vader for a long time so Visage ate at me, and other than that nothing happened that game.
FW+29
6(+77)
Highs: None
Lows: It was a crummy game
Game Four
Hidden Mains VS Brian "twigg" Terwilliger’s (2124) TKOS
Finally some real competition. From talking with Chris I knew that he likes to fortify his AC with Ephant early on, so I wanted to sneak Lando w/ Axe in quickly. His first turn he draws, my turn, holding Artoo & Threepio, I dropped Lando in and drew. He does nothing, so I get a drain and I drop the droids and Melas. His turn he brings the hate w/ Boelo, puny Jabba, IG w/ gun and Chall, but no scum. The droids get captured, I exclude, he plays Jabba’s Through With You, and I lose my guys, and he loses something. I try to get Luke and Obi in a couple times but they get NSPed. He deploys and moves the stinger to Dagobah to prepare for a landing. I grin because I have honor in hand so as soon as he lands I deploy it. I know he is playing 2, and they are both in his reserve deck when I get to verify, so here is the defining point in the game. I have in my 16-card force pile Anakin’s Stick and Battle Plan, which means I cant ditch Insight for it. In my hand I hold Ben, LSJK, and EPP Han, Bith shuffle combo, weapon levitation, Artoo I have a bad feeling about this, and a SATM/BF. Had the Battle plan been in the deck I could have dropped Luke and Han, each +2 because of no bargain, to the AC weapon levitated for the Saber, fought, hit and operate 4Lom, the guy carrying the droids, then played Artoo, I have a bad feeling. BUT I couldn’t do that, obviously. So I had to choose: Deploy Luke and weapon Lev for the saber, which may or may not be there, since I’d only be spending 10 of the 16 force OR I could deploy EPP Han and Ben for 15 and battle, hoping to hit 4Lom with a 3. I choose the latter. I cancel his barrier, and I initiate. I target 4Lom. Brian says, "Two," and waves his hand over my reserve deck. Low and behold I flip an On the Edge, 4lom cancels Bens text and I lose the game. He cancels my destiny so I lose Han and a few. Ben retreats outside, to the relative safety of the Palace (I was holding Fallen Portal) but all that fighting in the Chamber has left me down in force. He comes at me on the barge and I fallen portal the Merc pilot. He has to satisfy more than what Boba can cover so he tries to ditch the barge and make Boba jump off. I tell him he can’t do that. We check the rules and Im right, you can only jump off of creature vehicles or ones that specifically allow you to, so Boba dies and he flips back (that was his second battle ground). Jedi Luke joins his Uncle and they go back in, only to be reamed by a horde of bounty hunters. At the end we actually take things to space, but by now Scum is on the table, and though he is losing the battles he is winning the war. I come down to drain but get initiated against by Abyssins who were sitting on the den and they just go to the used pile, so more differential for him.
FL-20
6(+57)
Highs: I lost!
Lows: That @#$%ing destiny 2!
Game Five
HDADTJ VS Kyle "Jedi.02" Kraft’s (2183) WYS
Redemption time, right? I get a great start, throwing Choke into the Cantina w/ his saber first turn. Kyle eats visage for a while, but just keeps saving force. Not knowing what to expect, holding 4lom and Ozzel in hand I opt to deploy only 4lom, for whatever reason. He flips and battles Vader and 4lom, I have to lose both due to attrition, but the site is cleared. Mara tries to beat down a lone raider, but is It Can Waited. Vader comes down for the flip back for me, but then I try to deploy Palp. He it can waits from the lost pile, and then moves guys to where Palp was going to deploy- which would have made the Emperor lost on the next turn, but I pitched him to Visage. I dunno, since I had done a lot of fast damage Kyle was able to get a lot of good jank into his lost pile, so he started to mount his comeback, deploying an @#$% load of mains via tunnel vision. On top of that whenever we did battle he managed to flip at least one destiny 6 in every battle. He was playing 2 Run, Luke Runs, 4 Jedi Lukes, a Star Destroyer! and a couple other 6s, but what are you going to do about it? In the end it comes down to a big battle in the cantina. He moves Jedi Luke, EPP Han, Protector, Lando w/ gun, and another guy in to where I have Lord with Saber, IG w/ gun, and Palp. I deploy Old Skool Dr. E, who he wants to barrier, but I tell him he can still operate, so he doesn’t. Then he figures out he can just cancel his text w/ Chewie. So I battle, capture Han, he hits Palp, I play I Have you Now, he draws more 6s, I dont, I am cleared off and he lives. He slowly drains me out.
FL-8
6(+49)
Highs: It Can Wait is tech!
Lows: Nada!
Game Six
Hidden Mains VS Starfish’s HDADTJ Duel
This game was going great for both of us in the beginning. He had a god hand, and mine was pretty close to it too. His second turn he gets out Lord with Stick to the Endor DB. My second turn JK Luke comes down with Anakin’s, battles, weapon levitates Lords, then hits Lord, so he loses a couple. Luke lives for a while, but is soon battled by Mara who swings and hits him. I retaliate and kill whoever was with Mara. The whole time its mains VS mains and tons of people are going down to tracked 6s. Fortunately he is losing more force due to battle damage than me. I lose the Tatooine DB off the top to Visage, so Ben and his Saber wont be making an appearance. So now both my Sabers are worthless and 2 Lukes have died in battle, so Im left with one Luke and 1 EPP obi. CHYBC is on table and Jedi Luke and EPP Han are at the CCDB. I deploy Obi and some guys against his Janus and Ponda & Dr. E. Obi and Janus live, and he loses some cards. He’s low on force and Januses during my draw phase. His turn he deploys Choke Vader with, I think, a third Vaders Saber and duels Obi, drawing a 6 and a 7 to my 4 and 5, so I lose 9, but its okay cause I was at about 23 force and I had one On and one Off the edge in hand. He then transits over to Luke. He has 2 force on top of his tracked destinies. We lose one to visage. Now he has one. I activate one and he Januses. Now he has a 6 and 7 on top. I activate another, getting me to my tracked destinies, and he duels. Jedi Luke gets a 5 and a 6, to his 6 and 7. He win the duel by 1 and I cross Luke, losing 6. Now I cannot come back, so I initiate a suicide battle and manage to plink him for a few drains later on. Good game, Starfish.
FL-17
6(+22)
Highs: Good start...
Lows: Bad finish...
And that completes my worst tournament performance in over 3 years! Damn that was fun! I wish I could lose every week. Anyway, Twigg got the Snowspeeder foil, and packs were distributed through out (I gave mine to the kid who came in last). I won the random foil, which was a Dark Sense, but not until after Mr. T had called literally every single person who had dropped or left already. After the tournament we head out to Red Lobster to celebrate Mr. T’s birthday, but it and the Olive Garden next door had like an hour wait so we opt for Applebee’s instead. The waiter looked kinda like a younger, retarded Ray Bordier, but whatever. We ordered quickly cause we were all starving from a long, hard day of Star Wars, but the waiter was more preoccupied with these 2 chicks sitting a couple tables away.
Note to readers, again: This is where I stopped like a month ago because my life got very busy. Bastian came, I won Ramapoo, I was looking for work, etc. So now its June 26th or something. Onward.
So yeah, the waiter was a @#$%head and it took us literally an hour just to get like burgers and @#$%, so Mr. T talks to the manager and since its Mr.T’s birthday, and since Brian and Chris are actually working at an Applebee’s we get our dinners for free. Cool shtuff. Starfish has trouble with his fajita and I end up with chicken and cheese on my feet (I was wearing flip flop-esque sandals). We eat desert, but I make the mistake of ordering the gay fried cheese cake. We talk and have some good laughs, but soon it is time for Brian and Chris Applebee’s waiter meeting thing. So we leave and plan to meet up at Starfishs place when theyre done. We pass this wooden Indian thing, like one of those ones thats for selling cigars or whatever, and it has a wooden nipple so we all touch it and laugh. Why do we do these things? Why do I remember them? No one knows.
So Kyle and I hop into Joe’s car and we go to his place. Pool ensues. Its fun cause I am obviously the worst pool player in the world, but I manage to beat them both, and Joes like a pro. Sokol and friends come over and we just chill. As for that gay cheese cake: its good on the way in, but not on the way out (at least I got my revenge on Starfish for beating me =O ). So I want a drink and when Starfish heads upstairs to get cups for the soda I down one of his Dad’s beers in like 2 seconds, and Joe is none too pleased. No more beer was consumed. So the Twiggs arrive finally, and we start telling stupid prank stories, mostly related to college. Kyle tells us about his stolen car chase fun (ask him about it sometime) and about forking and such, and we all have a good time. It’s getting late and were all tired from 2 consecutive days of SW and no sleep so we go home to sleep. Chris conks out immediatly, Kyle stole the sofa from Twigg so he was sitting on a chair, and I was in the middle. Twigg decides he wants revenge on Kyle so we have some fun wrestling. Kyle is just like this little rag doll in comparison to me and Twigg, so we kick his @#$% a little bit. We finally settle down but I have to fart. Bad. So instead of just doing it in the safety of my sleeping bag, I get up and orient my @#$% such that Kyle’s head is just beneath it-- he barely gets the pillow up, and we all watch in amazement as the pillow actually disintegrates. Naturally, this leads him to retalliate, and more wrestling (read: Kyles @#$% getting kicked). We get tired and I tell Twigg to shut off the light. He gets this look in his eyes and says, "You know what that means dont you? ... Stealth mode!" The lights go off and my back is introduced to Twiggs elbow a couple more times. Then someone threw Pumpkin at me and it starts all over again! Damn. FINALLY we call a truce and sleep claims us all.
Monday, the 21st of May.
We all sleep till like 2, so were all refreshed. We learn that Chu’s flight got in so we had to go see him. So we hop in the car and go to Chris school to pick him up. Twigg parks and we all go into the school only to be stopped and interrogated! Brian somehow convinces the guy he’s picking Chris up, but since Kyle and I don’t have to be there we have to wait outside. WTF? It turns out the school is all anal cause theyre one of the top 5 most likely schools to have another Columbine incident. Oddly enough Kyles girlfriend was AT Columbine during the shooting and he tells the guy they arent even this anal out there. I really want a drink so I plead with the guy to let me use the vedning machine and he actually escorts me to it. Me and Kyle were tempted to enter the building again and just start running in opposite directions away from the gaurds just to see what they’d do but whatever. Brian gets Chris out of his cell, and we all pile into the car again and get lost on the way to Chu’s house (they live like 20 minutes from him and dont know how to get there!). Eventually we find things and theres a big reunion, so its all good. Turns out Chu has like a box of EPPs and ECC stuff so we open that and do a sealed deck with 80 card decks. I was light and was playing against Chu. Kyle was also light and got to play against Brian. Of course Kyle gets all the Suprise Assaults and Nabruns and It Could Be Worses out of his quarter of things, but I still have a good deck with multiple Obi Wans and Return of a Jedis (oh yeah, Kyle got a Jedi Saber too). Anyway, I suck at this game, especially when 80 cards are involved so I lose by like 10 or something. It was cool, but damn it took a long time. So its near 6 now, and Brian has a chiropractor appointment so we all pile into the car (5 of us, 1 car) and dash off to the doctors office. Being the guys we are we all stare down the receptionists shirt as she bends over to look at the calendar and do paper work. She was decent looking, but after living the life of a gamer for a couple of days youll take what you can get. So Brian goes in, while the rest of us take turns peeing, then sitting in miniature chairs and playing with the bead wire thing (you know those things they have in doctor’s offices to entertain little children: its like a wooden platform with 3-4 long colorful wires bent in weird patterns and on them rest these colorful (again) wooden beads you can slide on them). Yes we played with that thing and enjoyed it. Twigg finishes in no time and we look down the receptionists shirt again and head for KFC. KFC is good. Chu gets corn on a stick. We eat and we go. At the Twiggs place we show Chu the Tatooine cards and goof around for a while then get a call from Sokol. We go meet him at the Taco Bell and make plans for the evening: forking and cling-wrap.
We drop Chu off at like 10, Chris has to go to bed since hes already skipped school once on Friday, and then at 11 Dan and Matt and Mike all come over to the Twiggs. Dan brings with him about 300 plastic forks, but the Twiggs have an insufficient amount of cling-wrap to cover a car so a trip to the supermarket must be made. Twigg calls shotgun so Kyle gets stuck in the back. Of course, that stationary object thing comes into play and I manage to hit their Mom’s car ever so gently as I am backing out of their drive way. Anway, as I am turning around in the street Twigg puts down his window and screams at Dan who is driving the other car with Matt and Mike, "NORTHWAY RUN!" (As in Kessel Run) In case you haven’t read Twiggs TR about this it’s kinda cool. There is a 7 mile stretch that is relatively straight from their exit on Route 87 to that of the Supermarket, and so it is an ideal place to race. Dan agrees and I’m all excited so I peal out of their neighbor hood, a highly residential area, at about 50 mph. Twigg tells me hes never lost a Northway Run, so the pressure is on. Once we get out of the neighborhood and actually onto the road I hit about 70 mph. Of course you’re only on the road for about 2 seconds before you hit the exit ramp onto 87, and going 70 on an on ramp is not good. Fun, yes, but certainly not good. The tires are squeeling (almost as loudly as Twigg) and you can smell the burnt rubber. Its at this point that Twigg, fearing for his life, apparently, undoes his seatbelt and climbs into the back. Kyle, seeing his opportunity, climbs over the seat, but gets caught and ends up with his legs out the window that we hadn’t shut from our conversation with Dan. This is all happening at about 90 mph, mind you. Once Kyle gets his limbs entirely in the car I shut the window and hit 110 mph. I mighta hit 115, but I wasnt paying that close attention, as I was focused more on Dark Side podracing. So Twigg is telling me Dans car isn’t even close, but I keep pushing it. We get to the exit in no time and Twigg tells me to go behind these to 2 trucks with like a half mile to go. I do, but realize were going too slow, so I pass them and accelerate DOWN the off ramp in order to make better time. Stupid NY actually puts stops signs at the end of their ramps, but I ignore it and hit the stop light a quarter mile down the road. Tires once again screeching, I take the hard right, not really knowing where I am going. Twigg points the way and I pass another stop sign. We pull into the parking lot then park, facing the direction they will come in. We get out to the smell of burnt rubber and a very hot engine. After about a full minute Dan’s car arrives and theyre all blown away by my mad speeding skill.
We enter the store and find our 100 yards of cling-wrap and are content. Kyle finds some weird cookie frosting thing and we’re out. Now, being on the adrenaline rush from the race still, someone gets the brilliant idea to do the Jackass shopping cart thing, and Kyle eagerly volunteers, for what reason we don’t know. So I am in charage of holding onto the cling-wrap and cookies while Kyle gets into the shopping cart. Everyone starts pushing him towards this island that has a curb on it and bushes and grass and a light pole on it. Of course, instead of aiming a little to the left or right, and the relative safety of the bushes and grass, they head him right INTO the poll. So Kyles cart is going, then it hits the curb and stops, but Kyle keeps going. Right into the pole. He’s a bit slow to get up, and when he does he proceeds to sorta hop/skip around the parking lot as his knee took alot of the impact. Anyway we all laugh at his misfortune and our stupidity and we get back into our cars. In the light we see Kyles war wounds, and his knee looks none too good, but he has his cookie so he’s happy.
After a little more car chasing we arrive in the neighborhood of the Starfish. We park a ways away, and then we each get our share of forks. First stop is Nick’s house. He’s this kinda dorky kid thatll be going to MIT next year that we met playing pool at Joe’s house. So all 6 of us start forking. In about 10 minutes his entire lawn looks like a pin cushion. Mission one accomplished. Next stop is Starfish’s house across the road. None of us had done the cling-wrap car thing before so it took a little bit to figure out the best way to approach things. We ended up passing the roll under and over the car, successfully preventing anyone from opening the front doors of his Toyota Camry. Done and done... almost. Just as we were finishing a car came around the bend and we all dove into the bushes to avoid being seen. Fortunately the crisis was averted and our second mission was complete. Time to head home. Its like 12 now, but me and Kyle have to go home tommorow morning, so we want to make the most of the time, so we opt to stay up all night. Much, much playtesting of Tatooine ensues. Of course the results of that would have been much cooler had I actually written them BEFORE Tatooine came out, but I’m lazy, so sue me. Anyway, its like 3am and even though its just us three, you musn’t forget that one of us is a Twigg, so were making plenty of noise keeping everyone awake. Instead of being a @#$% about it (like my mom is) Mrs. Terwilliger just starts doing laundry! How cool is that? The Terwilliger parents have got to be the most teenager-tolerant people in the world! So more and more playtesting, but at 6 we all start to drag. Now Chris gets up, and is suprised to see us all alive and kicking. Kyle kinda passes out and Brian is looking more and more like a sleepy Jabba the Hutt. I kick Kyle off our @#$% and me and Chris pack the car. I wake Kyle up long enough for him to say a couple goodbyes. I drive Chris to his concentration camp of a school and then it’s back on the road.
Tuesday, the 22nd of May.
The trip home is mostly boring. I have to meet my friend Dan in Rensselaer, which is kinda south of Albany, but Mapquest sucks and I get lost for a long time. Finally I have to call him from a gas station in the next town to get him to find me, and he does and we go to McDonalds. It’s actually about 9am now, and Kyle is still asleep so I just leave him in the car. We eat some breakfast and I return his deck and tell him of the weekend and he tells me how he owned the Toronto Kotei. So I’m practically falling asleep, so I tell him I really need to hit the road, and we depart at 10:30, Kyle still asleep. Wouldn’t you know it, it starts raining cats and dogs. Visibility goes to nothing, and I am totaly zonked. I dont know whats going on and I have to keep blinking every 2 seconds to keep my eyes open. On top of that the Northway Run took its tole on my 150,000 mile old car and it started acting weird. Turns out all it needed was transmission fluid, but that still didnt make the ride home any less tense. I barely make the drive home, only going off the road once, 3 miles from my exit on the highway (the first time Kyle has woken up the entire trip). I just can’t stay awake, so after my brother meets Kyle for the first time I pass out on the floor. I want to wake up at like 4 so I can shower then drive to the airport, but my mom decides to do it for me so I dont get up till 10pm. Not good. Especially when I have final the next day and a book to finish reading for it. I end up missing the final on Wednesday, and then again on Thursday, cause Im just sleeping the whole time, but I take it Friday and get a B. And that was my weekend with Kyle Craft.
Now give this part 5 stars, then read the next part titled "If Mike Dalton can do it, so can I" and then give that part 5 stars. You know you want to.