don-yodas-denver-diversion
Title: don-yodas-denver-diversion
Author: Jared "Don_Yoda" Arthur
Date: Jul 7, 2001
Colorado World’s Qualifier 6/30/2001
The first part of this is the entire Road Trip, going from Phoenix to Denver and back in one weekend, long road trip with many details. Please skip down for TR if you don’t want to read this funny portion.
Boredom is everything as it seems, timeless, tasteless, always there and never going away. This is the story about being on the Road for 40 hours in a single weekend, stopping only for gas so that we, John Towner and I, could make it to the World Qualifier in Denver, Colorado. The extensive trip started at about 3:30 PM on Friday from my dorm in Tempe, AZ. We set out with nothing but some drinks and chips for the entire trip. We talked in the car and listened to music the entire time because we did not want to die of boredom. Much of the trip there we can’t remember because we were too tired and didn’t feel like writing in the dark. Some things to remember, BORDER PATROL. We were interrogated for 10 minutes by some random guy at the border patrol outside of Las Cruces. I should have mentioned we traveled south first so we would have an easier trip on Towner’s car and not go through the mountains. Anyhow, he asks us everything, are we U.S. citizens, where did we come from, where are you going, where are you stopping, what do you have with you and so on and so forth. On the way back we were smarter and used our hero Waldo. Yes, that’s right, flash them the Waldo book and no questions asked, "Move Along." Waldo is my hero.
In Albuquerque we were running out of gas for the first time and had a heck of a time looking for a gas station. After we found one we didn’t really know how to get back on since we had to go into the city to find one. Luckily, we found a nice guy at the gas station that was headed in the same direction and escorted us outside the city. Score 1, for New Mexico locals. We also passed by the two greatest named cities in our country: Rock Hound, City of Rocks and Truth and Consequences. You have no idea how funny those names are with no sleep. On the way back, more happened since we remembered it. I saw a tanker that was yellow with a happy face on the back with its tongue sticking out catch water drops, LOL, that was great.
Other mentionables:
John Towner skipped toll on the toll road in Colorado, don’t ask LOL.
We saw a mileage marker in Kilometers, Who does that?
When truck drivers swerve ..A driver’s tale. Some truck drivers get pretty tired at night
Cork Screws, wtf? Do people not know what an off ramp and an on ramp look like. We must have gone in like 10,000 degrees in loops during this trip.
John Towner quotes for the weekend:
My other ride is your mom, hehe, so funny at the right time
Station I choose you LOL, oh this was great, he was so tired in the car and it took him half a minute to realize the back street boys were on, and randomly pushed a button and said that, it was so great. We are going to do that in tournaments now. You want to mess up your opponent, put down Vader and say "Lord Vader, I choose you." Oh yeah.
Mi Pito es en fuego, if you don’t know what this means, don’t look it up, but Towner is a funny guy in the car when he’s on no sleep.
Lastly, in Towner’s stride for a new book title,
This would be a great novel, but then I would need 300 monkeys for that, again, don’t ask, things happen when you go 40 hours without sleep.
Ok, now that most of that is out of my system, the madness can stop. Here’s the actual TR. Like I said, we left at 3:30 Friday, we arrived at 9:15 local time in Denver, roughly 45 minutes before the tournament without decklists on no sleep and still changing a couple cards.
My decks are:
Light Side: hidden base flip with mains and OMDH
Dark Side: Bring Him contraption I made with randomness
My Rating going into tournament
1851
Game 1
I’m light vs. Tom Kathman’s Set Your Course for Boom (1848)
I’m like, great a deck that makes it so I can’t retrieve when my system blows up, wonderful. Anyhow, I knew his objective much better than he did, even without sleep. For the most part I really don’t remember to many starships if any came down at all. I brought over my EPPs on the death star and Corran Horn. He took damage for the gunners because I guess he thought he was flipped, I didn’t argue, a person should know better. After that I just drained him out, game lasted about 15 minutes and ended when he drew up after I retrieved 12 cards with OMDH
FW (+32)
Well, I have some rest time now and feel bad because there are many good players here I might have to play next and I haven’t had any sleep
Game 2
My dark vs. Derek Mower’s Full Boat Training (1770)
He does all his training stuff gets test 1 off 5th turn I believe, meanwhile my randomness is working. I put down Emperor and Tech Mor in the Throne Room and Lord Vader with stick outside on the CC Docking Bay to have fun while numbers is in effect. He does a It could be worse, uh no, catch and he takes about 4 for that one, not like the next one in which he took 11. With secret plans down and me hitting him for 3 a turn with Vader at the throne room dueling and Jade at a site with stick it was pretty much game. Great game good opponent. Even though I am running numbers, I am playing with 4-Lom x2, IG, Jade x2, Sing x2, Vader x5, and Dr. E/Ponda Boba, Emperor x2
FW (+19)
4(+51)
Game 3
My Dark vs. Patrick Napier’s Fake Endor (1715)
I put down Emperor first turn at the docking bay. He puts down Madine, Chewie and Wuta. Next turn, I drop Lord Vader with Stick battle, he’s left with Wuta, and I lose 4 for battle damage. Next turn he throws down Qui-gon with stick and battles. Misses Vader, the Lord hits Qui-gon (because he adds 2) and he loses both because I’m a moron and draw destiny to kill Wuta. Before that and after that he lost 3 force for no Luke on table. After that battle I throw down Jade with Stick and numbers since he only has 3 cards in hand he has to activate. That comes up, he loses 8, gives me Luke. I drain him for 4 the rest of the game and that’s about it. I just over ran him on the ground with Vader and it only took like 15 minutes again.
FW(+27)
6(+78)
Well, it was fun game with Vader, I said I wonder what I’m what doing up so high and he replied with the same question afterwards. We traded afterwards, I saw Hunter next to me, and Girard, Beal and Towner were all on that table, so GO AZ!!! We get a lunch break so I get a lunchable and some random stuff in the car since me and Towner have a $100 each for the trip. Quickly:
Trip Costs:
$140 for gas
$40 total for Tournament
$20 total for Denny’s (must have 1 decent meal)
=$200
Next game, I am seated at the number 1 spot playing Justin Beal LOL, no kidding, me and the Big Minnow are duking it out on table 1 for first place. So funny.
My Light vs. Justin Beal’s BSA
As you notice, the player’s rating I play keeps going down the higher I go, again interesting.
This was one long game, almost took all 60 minutes. I’m sorry but I can’t even go into much detail my head hurt so much. All I remember was taking a direct damage for 7 and that was not good. Basically, the only way I won that game is because he didn’t flip my hidden base so I could cancel his drains. It was a complete drain race with me doing hit and runs on the ground trying not to take so much damage from his objective and Vigos and Search and Destroy. Please read Beal’s TR when he makes one, I would like to tell more, but I so can’t remember all the carnage. It was a grueling match with all that mostly a finesse game and I ended up on top, barely
FW(+5)
8(+83)
Well, there are 3 people now undefeated, me Hunter and I can’t remember the other, sorry. Guess you figured it out, I get to play Brian Hunter. Well, I guess I can’t call myself a scrub anymore, well, John Dunn can call me a scrub still, he’s my technician. I catch my breath, remember I’m playing cards with the number one ranked guy in the world and I haven’t slept in 35 hours.
My dark vs. Brian Hunter’s Hidden Base (2327) "A crap load"
Well, I’m pretty sure I won’t win this game, but I’ll give it a try since I drove a billion miles to get here. Well, game wasn’t too bad, but there really wasn’t much I could do, my dark deck wasn’t prepared to go against space, it’s a beat down on ground deck. He threw TK-422 down turn 3 to block my drain where Vader was, gave me Luke, I had a drain of 2 going for a bit with Jade and stick on Tatooine, but that’s about it, Zuckuss was scared of wedge packing heat and running around the galaxy. We joked around the whole time we were playing and it was a real great game despite losing, but that’s to be expected. I learned that Hunter is actually a real fun guy to play a game with, he’s pretty cool.
FL(-19)
8(+64)
Well, that just dropped me a bunch. It was so cool to finally play against him, I’ve only played against 1 2K player before (and I beat him too). I talked to my friends, there like, you lost, I’m like yeah what do you think, but it was cool. So I don’t know what happened to the other guy, but I get to play Hunter again, AGAIN, twice in a tournament, Ahhhhh, not cool for a former scrub, maybe I’ll get demoted or something to regain my status.
My light vs. Brian Hunter’s Tatooine Occupation mains deck with Dengar as Rep
I guess he built this deck in mind to beat a hidden base (which is what we both were playing) Oh well, he throws down Might Jabba down at the audience chamber, starts to get a lot of force, I have EPP Obi get rid of him. Then mains are everywhere, and the executer comes on down and it’s hell, I make one sacrificial run to kill gailid, guarded by the brigade of Dengar and someone else. I go down with Corran Horn and EPP Leia, Corran Dies since I have another leia in my hand, but here’s the kicker, Leia lived, so do I keep her with Dengar, move over to vader, or move over to Xizor. Well, I decide that the 6 forfeit and no gun and no destiny is better than being shot at and hoping for good destiny so I move to Xizor. Little did I know it didn’t really matter, Maul and 4-Lom come on down and I end up taking Leia and 12, so that was about game there. Besides the fact I couldn’t find the falcon, or 1-4 other Jedi I had in the deck, it wasn’t so bad. If I had another chance, I think I might have been able to beat it, since my deck has beaten walkers and dark deal from the 2 guys ahead of me in my state. Oh well, another humorous game and I take it up the butt, from a much better player.
FL(-18)
8(+46)
Final Standings: 39 players finished
Brian Hunter 12(+138)
Justin Beal 10(+96) Arizona Player
Michael Girard 10(+69) Arizona Player
Alex Ruge 10(+46)
Miguel Alderete 9(+49)
I played the number 1 dude twice, beat 2nd, and I end up tied with Kyle Craft for 9th so we got gypped for class.
Well, the tournament was fun, I had a great time, I went 4-2 with losing to Hunter twice so my rating pretty much goes up. Well, now I’ve been up forever and I need to go back to sleep. Yo Quiero Bed. I talk to Casey, he’s the coolest guy, and he lets Towner and I crash at his room for the night. First I go to Denny’s with Zack or Haggardy, can’t remember and we eat there at around 11-midnight. Anyhow, I get the Buffalo Chicken Burger, so good and it’s gone in under 2 minutes, I slurp a soda since he brought an extra one and took care of that quickly as well. Then I notice I have a dollar left and there is a crane machine, what the heck right? I get change and play the dumb thing. I go and move this monkey that’s in there and almost get it, Towner goes and budges just a bit. My last 50 cents I actually grab the thing and hold it up as my trophy for the weekend, YEAH. I get back and show Casey and the other guy since I’m bad with names. And go to bed shortly after. I tell them to wake me up for Sex in the City since I’ve only seen it a couple times. For those of you who know me, especially Patrick Hug, you’ll get a kick out of this. It takes them like an hour to wake me up. They said they yelled my name and Towner even hit me like 4 times pretty hard from what I heard. Then at a last resort, Towner yells out "Sex in the City is on" and I immediately pop up and start bickering they didn’t wake me up earlier.
I wake up the next morning, clean up and head home for the long journey. We had another New Mexico local help us out at a gas station, score 2 for New Mexico locals, cross the Rio Grande, don’t ask, and somehow I made it home.
Hope you enjoyed this long rendition of a TR. I don’t know if I will be going to San Diego, I really hope so, besides that I’ll be at the Hexacon here in Scottsdale, AZ (my hometown) and I’ll even be running the tournament on Sunday.
Good nite to all, and to all a good nite. Especially since I need sleep.
-Don Yoda "The little muppet that could, and almost did"