raleigh-nc-your-mother

Title: raleigh-nc-your-mother
Author: Robert "Turin" Werbicki
Date: Aug 19, 2001

Blah, trying to find a name for these things sucks.

The tournament report starts 2 weeks before the tourney, when Mike (Merletto) asks me if I want to go to Foundations Edge for the tourney, except he thinks it’s a week before
the actual tourney (You always gets the dates screwed up, buy a calender Mike : P) and I tell him I can’t go, since it’s my Moms birthday, and then him and Eddo realize that there is no tournament, so they order a box of coruscant to split between themselves. Well prior to this Me and Mike had been working out Dagoba decks, from Yannicks page, Mike had modified and been playing the one Yannick played at GenCon, and I was playing pretty much the same thing, except with no podracing, because I can’t find room or something like that. Dark Side is still a toss up. Me and Mike decide that we need something SOLID, and then we should be able to handle pretty much anything, since our meta is pretty much the sea of jizz, nothing definitive and not alot of mainstream decks. So we are looking
towards BIG Blue, or at least something that can contend in space. Mike looks at an EndorOps platform breifly, but discards it cuz it got shot down in testing or something. I
am looking towards either EndorOps or SYCFA Flip, since I am thinking that I need to provide myself with at least one battle ground site, and be able to hold it. Mike’s shaken
faith in the EndorOps convinces me to go with the SYCFA Flip (Heh, theres something to be said about my playstyle when the most solid thing I can think of is blowing up
Alderaan), which shortly thereafter I fall in love with, I don’t need Chiraneu, and the retreival makes all the difference. So I mess around with that some, tweak it, and am pretty much settled. Mike has somehow got his attention turned to RalOps, since it’s solid and can grab anything he needs, he makes one using the shaft, and says it’s kicking
everythings ass. So school starts Monday, and sleep deprivation is killing me, besides that school isn’t too bad, lots of classes with my freinds, lunch with my friends, none of my teachers seem like their b!tches, stuff like that. Friday night me and Kimo had agreed to
playtest, so I spend the night over there, and lose both of the games we play, not too concerned though, as my decks are fairly new, and I have’nt got to play them alot,
whereas he has played his decks for a while now. We watch the lightweight fight on ESPN, and Spinks wins it, cuz he just kept on dancing away from Marks and jabbing him,
dodgy bastard. Then we start watching this martial arts competition, and it’s funny as hell, there are only 2 participants, and they are both like 13 and look like girls cuz they have hair halfway down their backs, and both of their heroes are Chuck Norris, haha, and they
look like they have constipation cuz they keep on making these funny faces. We wake up and walk ack to my house, Eddo gets there, then my Mom, and we leave. On the way
there I pop in Rob Zombie, @#$%in, he’ll pump you up man. Anyways, my mom is about to get on the beltline, and I time the song so that right when she hits traffic, the song
explodes into a chorus of guitars screaming for death and destruction, cool. We get to the store and I am like what tha @#$%, I thought there were gonna be a bunch of scrubs here, almost all of the good players in Raleigh are here, and I go over to Mike and he’s thinkin the same thing, since we had both read a report from this store before and all the people were scrubs. We decide that we should of gone to the Oxford tourney, since they have less
competition : P (BTW the tourney was for a box of Coruscant, which I guess is why everyone showed up, and the tourney in Oxford was for a box too). I let Mike borrow
some cards he needed and Edwin gives me the cards I asked him to borrow, but he’s short A Jedi’s Resilience, I ask some people if they have any Coruscant commons on them, and
Adam says he has some, and I get one out of the stack he has. We (Mike, Eddo, Kimo and Me) went to go get some space in the movie section behind where the tables were (there
were like 25 people there) and they have a bunch of Japanese porno video’s and we start laughing about all the gay titles, and then Kimo hits one video while putting another one back, and they all fall over in domino effect, haha, what a dumbass : P. Around this time Don announces that we are gonna be short on room, and my eye falls on a stack of shelves lying against a wall, so I gank one and lean it against the bottom shelf of the porno movie
section (Like one inch off the ground) and get the top of a box and shove it under the other end, completing another table on which to play. That table quickly became known as
The Ghetto Table. The pairings get called and I’m up against Ray Franks.

Game One: Dagoba Deck vs. Ray Frank’s Corulag Ops and Biker Scouts
I see his start and think I have this one in the bag, Battle Order, Test One and AFA’s should do him in. So I get test one done fast while he gets a Biker Scout on a Bike and
Oberk on a bike plus an Op at jungle or something, and a Biker on Bike/Op pair at another site. I signal for the Jar Jar Tank, get Jar Jar, and plop him down at the Bike/Op site, battle do the Jar Jar thing targetting the Biker Scout, since I am gong to need to clear them out
so I can get my guys on his planet. He reacts his other guys over I draw a 4 and he draws a 5, so we tie, Oberk reduces my power to zero, plays High Speed Tactics and draws high. @#$%ing dumb Jar Jar, damn him for not being a rebel when I have 2 Edge’s in my hand. Jar Jar takes himself and 20 more of my deck with him, but sinc Dagoba is such a beast I can still keep on going. I move Daughter over to do test 2 (W/out Yoda, since I’m planning on putting Luke at one of his sites), his turn down comes 3 Womp Rats but since my destiny is huge no one eats her. My turn I miss test 2 by one and fail to move Yoda
over so the Rats can’t eat Daughter, damn I suck. His turn the last rat eats Daughter as I am out of cards to draw destiny with, and Test 1 is lost. I put Luke down at Spaceport City and insert AFA, throw a 6 back for On The Edge, his turn AFA pops he throws elsek and another Biker Scout at Luke, elsek covers, I retreive some with On The Edge, insert another AFA, and draw some, get Lukes Saber, Epp Obi, Gift of The Mentor and Lower Corridor. His turn AFA pops, he throws some other @#$%es at Luke and
outpowers him by 5 or so, and since I am running so low, I decide to just ditch Jedi Luke, thinking I can find my other one. But I don’t, and EPP Obi cant take on reacting Biker Scouts on his own, and I only get one more AFA off before I go down. FL -31

Good: Nothing
Bad: Jar Jar cant kill anyone, his destiny’s were huge. Jar Jar for making me lose 20. Not saving Daughter by moving Yoda over. Ditching Jedi Luke when I should have just lost 5. AFA for only ever doing him 4 damage. In short, I didnt make good decisions, which you need to do to play the deck right.

So I am bummed, after only one game I’m out of it, unless I go undefeated, which I am not planning on doing, since I think my Dark will lose at least one game.

Game Two: SYCFA Solidness vs. Greysons PodProfit
I start off with Arica and he starts all the racing junk and Seeking An Audience. I drop the War Room from reserve, Gunner from hand, draw some. He gets C3PO A$$ Pilgrim
down to JP for free, pulls Artoo, and switches a card out with Threepio. Plays Mindful Of The Future to get City Outskirts down, draws some. My turn, ditch the Gunner to grab the Superlaser, deploy a site from hand, deploy a gunner to the site from reserve. Move the Death Star to parsec 1 and draw some. He drops Ben Kenobi to Jabba’s Palace and Padme to the Jundland Wastes he deployed, and pulls Qui Gon from reserve. He gets Hero Of A thousand Devices with Artoo (nice) and gets out HoloProjector or something. My turn drop a gunner to another site from reserve, throw Maul at the Jundland Wastes, battle and kill off Padme, move Maul to the City Outskirts for free, and move the Death Star into orbit around Alderaan. His turn drop Jedi Luke against Maul, but I barrier. He gets another device with Artoo (the one that lets you deploy character weapons as a react) and moves Qui Gon over to the City Outskirts. My turn I miss Alderaan, and get CPI back
and deploy my last site, boosting my CPI total to 8. Run Maul away to Jundland Wastes. His turn he deployed Panaka and Gun to Jundland Wastes and followed Maul with Qui
Gon and Luke. My turn I blow up Alderaan, throw my Gunners back, get Kiffex from reserve, deploy a Star Destroyer for cheap to Death Star, Zuckuss to Kiffex, move the
Destroyer over, and run Maul to the Wastes. I have P-59 in hand, but I want to wait for him to spring Han so I can cap him. His turn he deploys Chewie Protector to the Wastes,
Moves Ben to the Wastes and Moves Chewie, Panaka and Luke to the City Outskirts. My turn drain 4, cant find a system, and forget to move Maul. I draw some, realize that I
did’nt move Maul, and groan. His turn he battles shoots Maul, but no forfeit zero, and I only lose Maul and 6 more. My turn I drop Hoth from Hand Kashyyyk from resere, some
destroyers for cheap to Death Star, retreive my lost pile, move the Death Star up a parsec and move My destroyers out to the systems. His turn he initiates the race. My turn he
draws for the race, and I drain for 11. His turn, he moves Ben to JP. My turn drain 11, he’s down to one card. He moves Ben over and free’s Han, retreiving ten. My turn, drain 11, he’s back to one card, and can’t finish the race next turn. My turn, drain 11. I asked him after the game why he did’nt free Han and do the race fast to give me lots of damage, and he said that he wanted some cards in his lost pile to retreive. FW +25

Good: Almost back in the positives
Bad: He did’nt initiate race until like 4th to last turn, and freed Han on the 2nd to last turn, so I took no damage except for the Maul battle and my own lost interupts.

After my game I look over at Mikes game and he said he got raped. Something about CHYBC when Edwin had the only battle ground, but he could of used the Arena after the race and the Lower Corridor, I dunno. We go to the pizza store next door, I start talking about how they are selling cans of Whoop @#$% (apparently its a drink, but I’ve only ever
seen them have it) I dunno if Henry picked it up from me or not, but he came back to the store with a can of Whoop @#$% and was joking around about it. Anyways I am sitting at
the table I have staked as my own, and the parirings get done being called, I have no opponent. I ask Don about it and he said he did’nt see my scorecard, so I look at my table and sure enough, there are 2 scorecards, me and Greyson’s, he thought I would turn them in since I had filled them out, but I had asked him to turn them in. Sorry about that Greyson. So we have to play each other again.

Game 3: Dagoba Deck vs. Greyson’s Hunt Down Pods.
He flips Hunt Down and I already know I have won. This deck beats the @#$% out of HuntDown, it’s only a minor disturbance that he will cut into my diff with the race, but I can get it back with edge, or icbw it. He gets down Yavin 4 docking bay and draws some. My turn I ditch YISYW for Honor, grab Yoda’s Hut, get Daughter there, deploy the Bog Clearing I had in my hand, and draw. His turn he get’s EPP Vader to the Yavin 4 Docking Bay. My turn get Yoda to the Hut, pull the Training Area, and pull test one. I play Signal to grab Uncontrolable Fury, put that on Vader and insert AFA. His turn he activates and AFA pops, he gets down the CC and Hoth Docking bays and Twileks, but No Escape
is’nt in there, and he has to lose 4 to AFA and 2 to Fury, he draws some more. My turn I complete Test One, and pull Test 2, and the Swamp, put Test 2 there, insert AFA and
move Daughter to the swamp. His turn he Twileks, gets No Escape, deploys it, and deploys Dr. E and Ponda Baba to the Yavin 4 docking bay. My turn I miss Test 2 and deploy Corran Horn and Orrimarko to cancel Visage. His turn AFA pops and he deploys Maul to the Holotheatre, Weapon Lev’s for his saber, deploys it, and battles. I Weapon Lev Mauls Saber to Orri and Greyson plays I Have You Now and draws a 6 and a 5, I draw a 5 and lose Orri and Corran, he loses Maul. My turn I miss complete Test 2, deploy Lower Corridor and Jedi Luke with stick there and insert AFA. His turn he activates and drops Maul and Rune Haako to Lower Corridor, I Clash Maul and he does’nt move Rune. But he does transit Vader and Dr. E to CC DB. My turn I battle Rune, swing and hit with a 6 and a 1, he says wait I have an action to that, before you draw use Rune, so I just reshuffle the destinys back in, then he says pick a 6 and of course I draw the same 6 and 1, so I miss, but he still has to lose Rune and 4 more, I move Jedi Luke to CC:DB and Nabrun him (IAO was out) to the Yavin 4 DB. His turn he follows me to the Yavin DB and duels luke but I play Resilience, so that if I win, I can beat on Evezan and Ponda Baba. My turn he duels, I draw a 4 and a 2 (garbage) but he draws two ones and I beat him 14 to 7, Vader gets placed OOP and Evezan and Ponda get beat for them and 6 more. I only saw one Edge this game, so that sucked, and only won by 28, when I could have won by alot more. FW+ 28

Good: My deck rapes another Hunt Down
Bad: Forgetting to turn in the Score Sheets so I had to wreck Greyson....again.

Game 4: SYCFA Solidness vs. Mike Shneiders HB Flip anti Big Blue
This game was horrible, his deck was pretty much anti-mine. He ran Bwings with Slayne and Korpil Facilities and lots of Intruder Missles, plus Baragwins to retreive even more.
My turn I get down a site and a gunner and draw. His turn he gets down Luke In R2D2 in Red 5 and Gold Squad and Calrissian plus an Intruder Missle to rendezvous point, and
moves them to Endor. My turn search for superlaser but It’s not there, so I get down Battle Order and put down another Gunner and draw. His turn he gets down Roche and deploys Slayne and Korpil Facilities and I read it, there is no @#$%ing way to cancel it, thats gay. It takes me a while to blow up Alderaan since I keep on activating Gunners, but
eventually I get it, and then a couple turns after I am in space. Only problem is that I can’t dominate with Chimera and Thrawn plus Guri and Stinger, because they will get shot, plus he has like 7 ships (not total, like 7 at each system) at 2 systems, so I just go wherever he is’nt and probe, eventually I get it, and I try to spread thin to drain, but the Baragwins are getting most of it back, and he gets alot of it back when I battle, attempting to clear his ships out, using Slayne and Korpil Facilities. We go to time and he wins it by 22.

Good: Not Alot
Bad: I could’nt smack him out of space, since all my Destroyers were getting shot.

Game 5: SYCFA Solidness vs. Henry Jica’s Hidden Mains.
I know I can win this if I can get him out of space. I get my Gunner and a site down and draw. His turn he gets out Tatooine DB and Corulag and draws. My turn I get the
Superlaser,deploy a site from hand and get a Gunner down, move the Death Star to parsec 1. His turn he gets out Dagoba and Yoda’s Hut, plus CC:DB and draws. My turn get
another Gunner to a site, deploy Guri in Stinger and Fett In Slave One to Corulag and move the Death Star into orbit around Alderaan. His turn he comes down with the Superfalcon, battles, and draws a 5 to my 4 and 1. He loses Leia and I am forced to lose Guri, @#$%. I miss Alderaan and get out another site, deploy ZIMH to Corulag and kill
Captain Han, but not the Falcon. His turn he gets down EPP Obi to Cloud City and draws. My turn I blow Alderaan, get Kashyyyk out of reserve and move ZIMH, Stinger and Fett
there, He redeploys his guys to the Faclon and Moves them to Kashyyyk. He also deployed Draw Their Fire and Bacta Tank. My turn I deploy Bossk In Hounds Tooth and
battle. I draw decent he draws low, he loses Leia and Captain Han and I lose Zuckuss. At this point I am pretty sure I’ve got it, since his lost pile is about the same size as my reserve (big), but then things start getting crappy. He gets Leia out of Tank, redeploys her, retreives with Off The Edge (I had CHYBC out, so he had to get Leia down first) and then battles, retreives the Off The Edge and I lose one, I lose another ship and he Houijix’s or something. My turn I draw looking for a destroyer or barrier. His turn he redeploy’s Leia, and battles, this time he does’nt need a Houijix. My turn I get down 2
destroyers to the Death Star for cheap, but I have to pay 3 to retreive 3 each time since he started the combo Insurection, and that hurts. I move my ships away from the empty Falcon to Hoth, and move my Destroyers to Corulag where I had deployed Guri in Stinger. His turn he gets Leia back on Falcon and deploys Captain Han there as well and
deploys O2E he converts Black Sun Fleet and moves the Falcon infront of my ships at Hoth. @#$%. Since he converted my AO I can’t simply move Guri on Stinger infront of the Falcon and beat him up, and I can’t battle without Guri. or I will get crushed, so I am going to lose 3 until I can get Black Sun Fleet back. So I lose 3 and move Stinger to Hoth, to join my other Bounty Hunter ships, he goes to Corulag, I lose 3 and move Stinger over,
then draw and get my AO. I lose 3 one more time, convert AO’s and deploy Chimera, forgetting about Aim High, and so now I can’t retreive that 3, in which was another Star
Destroyer. I go to CC:DB at some earlier point with Maul and EPP Vader to try to stop the Edge’s, I break Arica’s cover, miss the swing on Obi, Vader get’s Glancing Blowed
and he just loses Obi to the Tank. In the end I can do nothing because whenever he runs he get’s a sytem for Menace Fades, so my drains are doing practically nothing, and I cant find a Gravity Shadow or a 5 to track around, so I go down.to his measly drains of 1 at the DB’s. Fl -12.

Highs: Eventually getting set up
Lows:: I cannot beat this kid, I swear I have a block or something. I am too pissed at myself for losing that game when I should of won.

So during the interim I just sit there pity’ing the fool who has to face me next, just because I’m mad at myself for not closing, nothing against Henry, it was a great game, but I can’t beleive I let that slip away from me. And so Philip Marschall is the victim of my wrath.

Game 6: Dagoba Deck vs. Phillip Marschalls YMSYL
His first turn before I get my grabber with Don’t Do That Again he plays Command to get Piett. Activates and gets Piett on a Walker who pulls Merrijik who does’nt pull a system. He deploys the 3rd Marker, the Docking bay and Expand The Empire on the 3rd marker. My turn I get Yoda’s Hut and Daughter down, insert AFA and draw. His turn he pays to drain, trys to deploy Battle Deployment, I tell him he can’t and so he pulls Hoth with Merrijik, but does’nt deploy anything there, he moves the Imperial Walker with Piett and Merrijik on there to the 3rd Marker. My turn I get down Yoda, Training Area, Test One, draw a couple. His turn he drains for 2 but I ICBW it. He pulls Sullest and loses 4 to AFA. My turn I complete Test 1, get out the Swamp and deploy another Dagobah site from hand, get Test 2 down, drop EPP Obi and Orrimarko to the 3rd Marker and he loses Merrijik to attrtiton and 2 more to Orri. He drew a 1 so I lose no one because of Yoda and move Duaghter to Test 2. He drops EPP Vader to the 3rd marker and battles, misses
the hack on Obi, I hit Vader and draw a 5 to his 2, so he loses Vader and Merrijik, moves the Walker back to the Ice Plains. My turn I complete test 2, drain 2, insert AFA and
draw. He ry’s to do some YMSYL damage but I po int to the Honor I got down a little while ago. He puts Death Star Assault Squadron to Hoth, and I think about the
Uncontrolable Fury I had tossed to 2nd turn YMSYL damage. I get down Traffic Control and put Jedi Luke wiht Saber at the Lower Corridor and insert another AFA. I draw some
more. He puts the devestator at Hoth and gets Mara Jade on there, he gets another Walker at the Mountains and deploys an Ice Storm, then moves the Devastator to Dagobah and
shuttles Jade down to some site. My turn I control the Ice Storm, throw about 25 cards back with Traffic Control, and drain for 5. His turn AFA pops, I ICBW the Hoth drain and
he deploys a Walker to the Hoth DB. My turn drain 5, On The Edge Luke for 5, drop Corran against the Walker at the DB and beat it up. And insert another AFA. His turn he
drains at Sullest (he had moved Devastator Back there) but I ICBW, and just lose 1 to the drain at Hoth. My turn Edge Corran for 4, drain for 5. His turn AFA pops and he deploys
Frostbite and Sunsdown, but I have Honor so it does’nt do anything and I lose some to the Sullest and Hoth drain. My turn drain 5 and Edge Corran again. His turn he deploys
No Escape, but I drain him out next turn. FW +30

Good: The Dagoba deck wrecks.
Bad: I beat him so bad.

So I go watch Mike finish beating a QMC to win the box of coruscant, so at least someone from our Team won it, good job Mike. Don hands out the prizes and Me, Kimo
and Eddo pile into Kimo’s car, and his dad drives us home, I just laugh as Kimo’s dogs drool all over Eddo’s shirt and he doesnt even notice. Eddo’s parents are late pickin him
up so we just sit around and try to think of decks since we both did @#$%ty, but Eddo’s used to it : P I am really dissapointed with 3-3 tho, thats the first time I’ve done worse than 4-2 in a long time.

Props:
Don Weinstein, for putting up a box of Coruscant
Mike Merletto, for being a damn good deckbuilding partner and winning the box
Kimo, for playtesting some, and knocking over all the porn movies cuz he got excited
Eddo, for doing stuff
Adam Weinstein, for letting me borrow the Resilience last minute, thanks alot man
Edwin, for letting me borrow an OOC Combo and a Resilience, and for getting 2nd
Kimo’s dogs, for drooling all over Eddo, hahaha
Porno, for gratuitous sex scenes
The Ghetto Table, for providing an extra table
Cans of Whoop Ass, for being on sale
Yannick, for being the man

Slops
Jar Jar, for being a bastard
Me for doing Horrible
SYCFA for not being SOLID
The spacing for getting messed up, I fixed it, but I’m not sure if it will get messed up again when I post it, if it does, I’m really sorry.