mange-dla-marde-et-meurt-dpc-montreal

Title: mange-dla-marde-et-meurt-dpc-montreal
Author: michael "Deck" Gemme
Date: Aug 20, 2001

I am a lifeguard.
I do this for 10 hours a day, every day.
it sucks.

I’m writing this TR at work, following the most sleep deprived weekend of my life and my trip to the DPC Montreal. Let me tell you about it.

Planning this trip took weeks b/c i didnt think i would be able to take time off enough to go to the town my school was in and find a job, visit my roomate and see the girl i date from my school AND go to the DPC. I was right, to a degree.

I got thursday, Friday and Saturday off but couldnt find anyone who would take me home saturday night, so i could work sunday at 10am. So i made plans and everything to do other things. But i really wanted to go to the dpc considering i would soon have THE dark deck. So i make plans to have my roomate come to see me last week, and arrainge with the twiggs to get a ride up and back. All the while getting a job and somewhat pleasing the old ball and chain.

My Coruscant boxes sucked. 2 boxes, no maul, no quigon, no squabbles, no accelerates, 842 dioxis’, and all of 5 combo cards. After a 5 hour trip to get over our second box (which we didnt even get) me and steebo decided to stick to playtesting. But let me just say that me and steebo ended up in a police station the size of my bathroom in an oceanfront town of RI with a population of 116 trying to get directions home because we had 45 minutes to get to a town near CT in the pouring rain and no clue where we were or how to get out.

After escapeing the storm, we ended up at a family reuinion dinner at a chicken farm where they kill all the chicken right there, and seconds of any one of the 5 courses of the meal are all free. At this diner, of course, is steebos sweet sweet mom, whom i flirted with from across the table to the strong distaste of steebo. Other than that the dinner was uneventful aside from two girls trying to jedi test us and steebos cousin being wicked hot too. (and shes from Cali, which makes her hottness +2 on the east coast).

The rest of the week is spent playtesting the senate and the WYS (the two decks i SHOULD have played) and emialing ppl frantically, trying to get them to send us the cards i needed to win. Justin h20 desai came down to test and like a homo, didnt bring his decks. I also took a trip to johnny riveras house so i could get some cards and whip his @#$% in RawDeal (my raoddogg vs. his RTC).

The night before i left i had to pick up cards that brian hollingworth (PROPS) sent us as well as drop off raw deal stuff. But steve wasnt home... only his mom was...

ME AND MRS BARONI WERE FINALLY ALONE.

So i go in and shes laying on the couch watching tv in the dark and i’m all like "where is everyone" b/c 842 ppl in steves family were staying with them for the week. and shes all like "jess (steve’s sis) is upstairs, but its just me....."

Drool.

I tell her i had to pick up some cards in the dining room but she just cleaned in there (so she said) and she said shed help me look for them. So we go in there and are looking and talking about normal stuff and she finds them and brings them over to me..

She hands them to me, but she does it so that oru hands touch and linger on one another for an extra second.. there is nothing like lingering contact with the one you love when its the first contact youve ever made when its just the two of you. For example, in high school, on my first date with my highschool sweetheart, we were at the movies and my hand hit hers softly (before we were holdin hands or anyhting, this was premature) and my whole body vibrated like a frigging tuning fork. But i digress. Mrs baroni had just touched me, and i about melted. But i did my best to keep it together for the ensuing moments.

Her and i were just standing there talking, and the conversation had just about wound down to a close, and i guess reflexively or whatever she turned off the lights, but then the conversation picked up again and we were talking in the dark.. then the conversation kind of ended again and we were standing alone.. in the dark.. in his dining room.. this is what ran through my head

Should i make my move?
Should i make my move?
Should i make my move?
Should i make my move?
Should i make my move?

but we were too far away from one another within hte room to do anything w/out her having a chance to see it coming. im banking on somehting happening in the heat of the moment. Not me taking ten steps before it did. But i headed over there and we ended up just leaving the room talking and she walked me to the door. But im okay, because every time something like that happens and we share a little moment, its like me deploying a dagobah site from my reserve, just adding one for when i try and complete test 6.

SO after staying up online late talking to another girl who i have a REAL crush on (not the mrs baroni crush that i just dream for), and this girl is more my age, yet she says shes old enough to be my mother, which is BS. i goto bed and get about 5 hours of sleep. i wake up, drive to poughkeepsie NY in attempts to get a job, and take care of business at my bank.

I get a couple of job offers and then go on another 2 hr trek to the house of my old maid. we hang out , go to a lacross game and then i [edited by admin] the [edited by admin]out of her after i [edited by admin]and [edited by admin]too. Went to bed at 2, woke at 9, got breakfast and headed to albany. three hours later i am there and i am flexing my new dark deck and beatingchriss twigg, then i am flexing my wuys and beating chris twigg and it looks like im in great shape for the weekend. then we drive four+ hours to montreal and get to doms house.

Dom’s house and neighboorhood are really nice, which is weird cause everything in montreal ive seen was anything but residential. Doms dad answers the door and is like dom doest live hear anymore. and i think all four of us shti our own respective nuts out. So i figure dom got kicked out. then in all his glory, dom runs down the stairs and lets us in.

We hang out in doms basement and meet his girlfriend audree (badgirl) and doms sister Valeri who is wicked cool. Then we head out and see whos at the warmup. Raphael asselin won it, but everyone was packing WEYS hate and it sucked for me. SO i feel like om defeated already. We get some cash, the canadians get booz and we all go to yannicks which seems to be THE place to be.

Yannicks apt is phat, he has tons of good cd’s and movies. we played some n64. rpah kciked our asses in pokemon stadium (which didnt make me feel any less of a man, but i dont know if he felt the sameway) then i kicked everyones @#$% in bond. dom and chu played smashbrothers and i played some rawdeal with the twiggs and some other kid with a backwards hat and a lazy eye. The twiggs wanted to get back, so we made some decks including my MWYHL that i would ultimately choose to play in the DPC.

While twigg and i were making the dagobah, dom’s sis came home, upset because she just broke up with her man. But shes says she brok up with her g/f on accident. twigg and my jaws dropp and im like SWEEET then shes like "im so dumb i meant boyfriend" but then she goes "im trtying to be bisexual, and its diffucult" and goes into her room to change. I start pumping my fists in the ari casue bi chicks rule. Even though she mightvbe been joking, its still phat (i dont think she was tho).

I spend a lot of time talking to dombs sister cause sehs really broken up about her breakup... I actually forgot all about the bi stuff becuase shes really cool and funny and i like the girl. Plus she has an old school carebvear stuffed animal, grumpy bear. which is my favorite next to swift heart rabbit. So that was hot. Also, i wanted to learn how to talk trash in frnech and how to say Eat siht and die in french.. so she made me a sign cause i couldnt pronounce it. i carreid the sign to every game, flashed it to ppl on the street (they didnt think it was funny) and it is hte title of this very TR... Dom comes down and totally rebuilds our dagobah, so now i have renewed confidence in it. and we end up heading to bed at like 4 only to wake up at 7 without breakfast and head to meet raphael at the bus station and take an hour trip to the fitness center wehre the dpc is being held. At this point i have 15 hours of sleep and thirteen hours of driving in the last two days.

We get in there, and just bout hwen i start to make my decklists, desai and klema and cody come in with klammrodt his friends and their friend dave. I get convinced to play the wys and then the dagobah again, and i end up using the dabgobah, which sucks cause i shouldve played WYS.

Among the notables: Yannick, chu, raphael, clint, hodur, sokol, patrick dinnel, klammrodt, plus the twiggs and the kashyyk boys. and then i see my arch fukcin enemy Chris "the rat" gogolen, and its fukcin on.. or is it?

For those of you who dont know, gogolactic talked a bunch of @#$% to me during game seven of words 2k.. he wasnte ven my opponent. GOgolen and tj are buddy buddy and tj doesnt like me so gogolen is one of htose ppl who goes to great lengths so that people will treat him like hes cool, even when they know hes not. SO anyways, he was talking siht to methen ended up laying me in game 8. becuase it was so late at dcon and the bar was gonna close soon, i ran over and pumped down three shots of straight vodka. no sleep + no food + vodka = stupid. SO goglen shos up as my opponent and then he insults my last name by prounouncing it wrong (btw my name in french means "ilove" which is so damn sexy al the french women want me now). And at this point gogolen is rated 1979 and im like 1629. i took him by 24 by crosing his luke with my BHBM manipulater that doesnt even normally flip.

Then at ramapo he tried to order me around when i was laying on some table. i refused to do anything he said and made fun of his warmup pants that had the elastic ankels and were clinging to his mid shins. it looked like he was waiting for a flood you know? anyays, he was embarassed adn walkeda way, but i feel bad for the kid cause hhe’s color blind. im just kidding i think its funny that he cant see reds.. what a @#$%ty life that kid must have.

alas, im not a total heel, im actually a decent person, utter hatred is a rare occasion for me.

oh yeah, and then i played in the tournament.

DECKS: MWYHL test to 5 with test 6 for bhbm and tie hate
DS: Gemme’s Senate Thunder, coming soon.

Game 1 myh ds senate vs. patrick dinelle’s friends’ RSTBOOMRACE

almost all my opponents were foriehg and i dont remember their names, it is dificult for me to remember names like that and i apologize.

Chris twigg said before the tourney that RST boomrace would be my toughtest matchup, it was. he started piling guys up at the landing site and i set up at the seante. by thir turn i had the roc combo and almost all my guys with a succesful vote now. he puts the bunker down and moves in, i drop the combo and arica. he moves out. he wins the race, retreives it looks like slow going from here. i held the bunker and hit him with the roc combo the whole game, i limited resourced him twice and i held the bunker with just maul for a bit with a hutt smooch in my hand in case he came down with corran. at one point i shouldve moved out of the bunker and given him the blow instead of getting beat up for a few force. he blew the bunker when he had just two force left, he got me down to give and lost from the roccombo that turn. needless to say that if he added the one destiny for battling me at the bunker once, i wouldve lost.
Fw 2 (+5)

Highs: maul locking down the bunker
Lows : winning by only 5
other: im glad i won my toughest matchup.

Game 2- my MWYHL vs a kid with a lion king tshirt who beat gogolen in game 8’s brangus.

I thought brangus was dead.. anyways, i activate 5. i got three sites in my oppening hand, drop them, grab antoher and try to deploy daughter. she snot ther so im like @#$%, i cant draw her cause she has to be deployed form the deck to be targetted by the OBJ.so i drop yoda and move him leaving one force. that one force... daugther of skywalker.. this would set the tone for the rest of the dayh. i finially get daughter, but by now hes won the race and he has chybc out so i cant retrieve anyways. i test to four and turn upside down before he finishes me off by 29.
2(-24)

Highs: three sites in my hand?
Lows : Daughter is a slut
Other: this sucks.

Justin lost to gogolen beause gogolen thinks you can step backwards and not have to place a card on your own podracer in used if you dont play a podracer. only he had a generic podracer so gogolen is a cheater and noone should ever take a rats word for anything, especially not rules he made up. justin is on the bad end of the list now, as 6 others would be added today including the man, alex klammrodt.

Game 3, my MWYHL vs Jason Foss HD Bashem as he likes to call it.

He knows my deck, i know his. i get daughter in my opening hand which means i have to get drop out if i want to flip my obj. it takes me 3 tunrs to get drop, i got uncontrollable fury in my opening hand and he plays 3 choke vaders and two lords... he drops lord first turn. again i end up testing to four and turning upside down before he ended up wasting me away winnihg by like 15 or something
FL 2(- fukcyou)

Highs: none
Lows : all
Other: Mange d’la marde et meurt.

Game 4: My Ds Senate vs Candadian man’s LS senate

THis man spoke like no english. I know that even the most dedciated ls senate deck cannot hold the seante because of my sweet interrupts and quick fliping with lotti doddi in my opening hand. When i have four senators there he drops palp and the alderanian slut and plays the LS little real power, the worst senate interrupt ever. i smack those two around even with my minus 4 and i own the senate from there on in. he is podracing too and wins. i lose 6.. oh no. i get abilityx3 out and hes loading up all his guys at one site. i drop the roc combo and he loses to that. arica chases a roc’d epp obi across three different planets and i limited him a bunch of times. i drop Porn Free ta, retreive seven with squabble, and then during his turn i put porn free ta BACK with his gametext before the roc combo kills him and i win by 36 forces (he called them forces).
4(-3)

HIghs: kickin the shiznit doggy style
Lows : Losing the race
Other :PPl that play two fo each senator are GAY.

Game 5 My DS vs One guys RTP Deck

I cant recall this guys name either but he was one of the asian guys. all of which were real cool. he gets his lift tubes out. even though he forgot to deploy one, i let him during like his move phase anyways cause he was playhing RTP. it takes him a while to draw a 3 for destiny with 8d8, he kept drawing ones. i made him lose a lot of force with yeb yeb. i drop maul and miyoom to my tat dbay i miyoom 2 melas, 3 epps with sabers and two corrans. i locked him down. put the roc combo on leia THE turn she got to the senate. AND i had ability x3 out. he as losing 6 a turn (he had undercover artoo at the senate)and four more when i decided to limited resource him. i retreived 4 @the senate and won by 26 to a small crowd admiring the new dark deck.
FW 6(+26)

Highs: my deck is a machine at full throttle this game
Lows : losing four the drain the turn leia is freed
Other : My deck is soo good.

Game 6 My MWYHL vs Joe Giantettis Tie Bombers

Once again i activated my daughter. Once again she was the bottom card. not only til i signaled for drop on turn 3 could i get her back on turn four. i did some edging to make up for the space drains. i test to 5. first time ever. this is reflected in my in ability to remember to retreive 10 from the objective. Also when he battled obi with maul, he drew a two, which i made a one with test 3 but i didnt even know yoda subtracted 2 from attrition. had i known, obi would have stayed and i couldve edged my entire lost back anyways with my stacked artoo in red 5. i suck
FL 6 + fukc you again

HIghs: flipping
Lows: Being an IDIOT
Other Mange d’la marde et meurt.

Game 7 My DS Senate vs Ghetto leader’s WYS

He starts the new tatooine and drops theron net to kessel first turh. Dash to tat second turn. In response, i put ROC on theron third turn and start manipulating his hand. i play omni box to shuflfe his deck and he canceled it with its a hit. next turn i drop zuckuss and he it could be worses the roc. i do a bunch of daming with chasing him with the roc but zuckuss is stuck in space when he drops theron to the dbay. han and melas come down and beat me up for 9 overflow. he lost nothing. from there on he hnad a huge drain and i had nothing. he retreived 3 from on the edge twice before draining me out w/ ten cards left
FL 6 (wlkjeoajew)

HIghs: My dark went 3-1 with only loss to ghetto wys.. GOOD
lows : losing both my squabbles of the top. no retreival
other: all 8 gmae tourneys i go 3-4 then win the last one.. we’ll see.

NOw greg hodur is obviously the owner of ghettosquad and has talked shti to me on this very site, and i bcak to him, so i was expecting him to tak shti and be a dikc but he really wasnt that way at all. while everything we did was very mechanical as we played, there wasnt any hostility. after the game he was even good enough to answer a couple question about the way he played his deck, so yeah. hes a decent human being and i was surprised. so there.

Game 8 vs noone

6 ppl dropped game eight including the kid with the hat and the lazy eye. all six were to play DS so i go one of many byes.

i said my goodbyes and had a breif exchange about mind over matter which chu.. which is sweet cause i never met anyone who beleived in it reall other than mey, so that was cool. we headed on the four our drive to the twiggs and then i got 3.5 hours of sleep before driving me and desai home in the obsidian 69. I dropped him off at the train and went to work.

Final Tally on sleeping vs. driving
19 hours sleeping thrus-sun
17 hours driving thurs- sun

Props/slops time

PROPS
Dom for a place to stay
Dom Max and Dom’s friend for running a smooth dpc
twigg for the rides, teh cards a place to crash, everything.
desai for driving while i slept
klema cody and dave for making the day full of hardcore
yannick for winning and having us over
doms sister for being mad cool despite her trials and tribulations
audree for being really nice, and explaining french things i didnt get
anyone who beat gogolen (yannick and the lion king tshirt kid)
pat dinnelle for beating frigging cancer, youre the best dude
Doms friend for letting me into the bank
raph asselin for whipping @#$% in N64
inspecta dek for being cool
tom dowling for finally getting to meet him
jason foss for beating me
the lady that walked me to the car
this wicked hot girl at the toll booth on the way to marist
hot girls in general
and of course steebo for handing me tools to win a dpc, and having faith.

SLOPS
to me for fukcing it all up
everyone who let me play MWYHL
Everyone who lost to gogolen
gogolen
daughter of skywalker for being a slut
pizza in montreal for tasting like skunk/goatcheese pizza
mwyhl in general
gogolen
migraines
anyone who didnt show up

Its time to get drunk with some brazilians at my pool.

Michael Deck Gemme