you-need-to-get-divorced-milford-ma
Title: you-need-to-get-divorced-milford-ma
Author: Stephen "The Gov'na" Cellucci
Date: Sep 3, 2001
Pre-tourney stuff
OK so I had been away most of the summer and hadn’t played for a few months, had no idea what Coruscant was about, and needed to scrape off some rust. So I went to this local in Fitchburg, expecting to get a decent turnout, with the good prize support and advertising etc. I get there thinking well the tourney starts in like 10 seconds I’m gonna be late and I go to open the door and its LOCKED. The store’s not even open yet. The start time listed on D’s site was the same as the stores opening time. ??? Whatever. Anyway I’m thinking I’ll give it a chance, see who shows up. About 45 minutes later we have a total turnout of 6 frickin people, not including the TD what the hell is that I’m like for god’s sake cant we have a frickin sanctioned tournament, the drive was an hour at least. And Paul Maholick (a very cool guy, more on that later) had driven prolly like 2359827058 hours cause I think he lives in rhode island and Fitchburg is in central mass. The TD got there kinda late cause he got an opportunity to get some Tool tickets, but no biggie cause an opportunity is an opportunity and ya gotta take em when you get em. We all thought ok we only need one more player and the TD, Joe, said oh I didn’t bring decks I didn’t plan on playing. But since he was cool and he appreciated everyone making the trip to the tourney he bought 2 sealed Sped decks, one light, one dark, so he could play. A good gesture by him. We had to use a phantom player to make it sanctioned (Paul Laudenbach’s sister I think lol). All in all it wasn’t very good practice cause of the low turnout but Paul Maholick skooled me pretty good, beating me in both of our games. After the tourney I decided I had to go to the Milford local, having scraped off most of the rust from the summer and seeing how bad you can get w/out playing for just a couple months. That brings me to this tourney, which is what the TR is actually on. (WTF am I doing rambling like this about another tourney? That was a little weird anyway )
Not much to report pre-tourney wise, except that a good turnout was expected, with a bunch of top ranked players like eric hunter, justin desai, steve brentson, mike schiemer, notables such as paul maholick, ross, of course mike gemme with his teched out dark senate, and some other good talent. We ended up with close to 20 people I think. Jared Greenwald, who always runs a good tourney, was the TD. My decks were solid walker garrison for dark, with a track record of 8-1 in sanctioned play and a weakness only to WYS. Light side was my mad tight MWYHL which plays sevens, tests to 1, races (and wins), pulls threepio, and uses mains to smack the other guy around (drawing sevens every time for destiny). That deck is nice, it owns hunt down which is popular in our area and is just so sweet, sweeter than strawberries and cream. But of course it does lose to DS senate, which naturally I played. I will post that deck soon so keep your eyes peeled. Ok here ya go, the games (wow I’m gay when it comes to pre-tourney, its practically longer than the actual TR itself, but here is what I can remember)
The Games
Game 1: MWYHL sweetness vs. Steve Brentson’s (1989) old skool BHBM
I am glad to be paired against brentson because it means I get to start the tourney off with a challenge, a game that gets my brain going cuz otherwise I’m on autopilot. He starts the standard BHBM stuff, the IAO and Mobpoints combos (I think) and something else that doesn’t seem to matter all that much (I’m stupid I don’t pay much attention to his starting effects. The secret plans part of IAO, which I am too dumb to notice, definitely ends up making a difference though). I start the same thing I will start every game: MWYHL with dagobah, pod prep for the arena, anakin’s pod, boonta eve, and seeking an audience as my effect. Seeking an audience = Govna tech pure and simple yeah baby yeah. He gets kind of a slow start, no emp in his reserve but he gets a db and doesn’t do much else but draw. I pull yodas hut, nekkid threepio to the arena, and yoda to the hut, and of course begin cycling sevens with threepio immediately, which I would do nearly every turn for the rest of the game. He sets up with palpy to the CC db protected by force lightning of course. Oh yeah my first race destinies suck and since he doesn’t stack neither do I (he has no podracer). I just draw for a while, getting out more dag sites and eventually a random 4 ability mofo with great warrior to the hut. He ping drains me for the next few turns, deploying more mains to the CC db with a presence there, and endor db with a walker and a pilot. He also gets out carida with bossk and starts draining there. But at this point he still has no vader out. Almost right away I make a strike on the CC db with han, leia, chewie protector, and I think obi. Han shoots iggy who then responds by capturing han (sends him to used pile). Great, so I go from drawing 3 battle destiny to drawing 1. Chewie cancels a walker pilots text, obi misses palpy, leia hits someone. I draw decent destiny but not a seven. At the end of the battle only chewie and leia are left I believe. Next turn he comes down with an assload of guys including igar on blizzard 1 who I barrier so he doesn’t battle. Meanwhile around this point I win the race but I didn’t save force for secret plans which I didn’t notice so I don’t retrieve 6 (big scrub mistake) but he still loses 6. Eventually he clears me off the site and I get I did It out and retrieve 4 from that. Vader does come down so I give him jedi luke from lost pile. Its kinda close at this point, me battling a lot of his guys away and making him lose to AFA him draining me. I did get an on the edge to retrieve 6 at one point. When we’re both down around 15 life force I whip out kessel and drop home one for a drain of 3 (had been holding them all game) because I saw that he had committed mad space to carida fearing falcon. That drain wins the game basically. My retrieval saved me, and his objective making him lose 1 a turn was huge.
FW +3
Highs: Winning first game against a high ranked dude, it was a very good close game.
Lows: Nada
2(+3)
Game 2: Solid Garrison vs. someone whose name regrettably escapes me (prolly 1400’s) HB flip
I’ve never played this guy before, he says he’s pretty new and to bear with him, and I’m cool with that. I start my standard IAO, mpoints, YMSYL and he starts Squassin and do or do not/wise advice. I set up as normal pulling executor, 3rd marker and a garrison and getting executor db, piett, merrejk, and fondor and hoth system for the first few turns. I also get an early walker with ozzel to 3rd marker and he starts doing some pingage and drains. Oh yeah by the way when I look thru my hand I do that noisy flip flip card thing, I’m sure you do it too, but this guy doesn’t. I guess he hadn’t heard it before cause he’s pissed, he’s like what the hell is that its annoying and I’m like sorry man that’s how I play. Anyway. He gets luke on artoo in red 5 with squassin and moves out to endor. He also gets a ton of systems out early and he flips like 4th turn. At this point I get the executor to fondor move piett and merrejk to the bridge. I also have another walker down, 5th marker this time I think for more pingage. He cancels one drain a turn but my pings are hurting him. I come down hard on luke with a lat damage and thrawn and chiraneau on the devastator, imp command for 3 destinies so luke has like a bunch of overflow damage. Besides that I pretty much have total board control. He does get some more ships out but I probe a ton using zuckuss, devastator, and executor and finally get his system. He cancels a couple drains here and there. He does a random attack on 3rd marker with chewie and an RFC, but I trample chewie during the battle. He’s kinda getting frustrated at this point, understandably, with my noisy hand thing etc and he makes me call over the TD to ask if I can play trample during a battle (WTF?). So I win that battle by a ton and that’s basically game. I drain him out with a small lost pile. By the end of the game he’s really mad, he kinda half blames it on my flip flippy thing, like he couldn’t concentrate or something? He says if you were in my house I would punch you in the face. Whoa dude chill. But its ok cuz later he says sorry and its all good.
FW +34
Highs: not much, the deck worked fine but
Lows: the guy needed to chill
4(+37)
Game 3: Walker garrison vs. Justin Desai’s (1889) WYS solid
OK let me just say that although I have beaten justin with the garrison before, this matchup is an auto-loss for me. The one auto-loss (or near auto-loss) for this deck which is otherwise truly solid. He does outplay me as well as outmatching me deckwise also, because he is a very good player in addition to being a chill dude. I start the normal and he starts squassin, Insurrection combo (I think) and DDTA, hosing my mobpoints to make things even worse. I don’t remember much from this game-selective memory probably is playing a role here-but heres what I can recall. He sets up WYS normally getting ships to tatooine and I think melas to the cantina. I get a walker set up on ground for the ping and drain but he gets menace in effect. His drains are pretty large early on and I’m hurting while trying to occupy a battleground system and get the executor out in one turn, so I don’t get smacked. He also sends the falcon to hoth early, which I lat damage putting the effect on fondor which I now occupy with executor which I was lucky enough to draw. Sorry that sentence sucked. Anyway he chases me to hoth with a huge fleet while still controlling a bg system for menace. I do everything I can to fight him but I lost a couple imp commands early off top and hes drawing like 900 battle destinies as WYS is prone to do, as well as making me activate about 0.6 force a turn. Eventually he clears me off the system with some overflow. I do a little decent damage on ground with walkers but he prolly smacked me there too. I dunno this deck just cant handle WYS. Then he retrieves with on the edge for a good diff. He drains, I lose.
Garrison is now 9-2 with its only 2 losses to wys.
FL -27
Highs: what? Highs? Oh, well it was a well played game by justin certainly but the loss is ouch
Lows: the loss is ouch
4(+10)
Game 4: Peaches and cream sweet sevens vs. Rick Gaudioso’s (1753) senate
Oh good, another auto-loss matchup. Plus rick is a decent player so I cant see any way to avoid a loss here. He starts the senate stuff, with coruscant system I believe (maybe I’m wrong, I think he uses the old coruscant but as far as I know you cant start that? I don’t know I’m confused), and YCHF/Mobpoints, the Coruscant senator version of IAO, and 1 other which I cant recall. I do my standard start, pod stuff, seeking an audience etc. See my problem with this matchup is that my deck plays reactive, but its kinda hard to battle in the senate, and its impossible when coruscants text says that if he controls I cant put rebels anywhere on coruscant. Let me just say that I play horribly this game. I get out naked threepio and yoda to the hut, dagobah sites etc while he gets good senators like lott dodd to the senate. I finish test 1 pretty quickly with orrimaarko I think. One big dumb thing I do is insert AFA, and when it pops next turn I totally forget to make him lose for it. WTF is that??? Also another hugely dumb thing I do early on is assault a couple star destroyers, one with a pilot, that he has at kiffex with a superfalcon (falcon, epps han and leia). I get good attrition and I lose han to the bacta tank and he loses everything but chimaera. I’m holding a barrier so I think I’m all safe, I mean I still have a destiny draw right? Blech. Next turn he puts 2 cards from my hand to my used and one of the is barrier the other is I did it which I grabbed with anakin’s pod, the 2 best damn cards in my hand at that point. So he comes down with a couple pilots on the chimaera, LAT DAMAGE, and absolutely smacks me around for like 15 overflow. The lat damage really hurt. And still I make another scrub mistake: I lose I did it from used pile, which I knew was there cause I just lost it that damn turn, yet I forget right away. So that gets buried under a bunch of cards and even though I retrieve 6 from the race theres no way I can get it back. Great, that card (combined with draw their fire) is like half of the point of the deck. Meanwhile he’s ping draining me at the senate while I sit there and do nothing useful. I don’t even know how I damaged him, I got out kessel to drain with home 1 but he kept canceling and cycling his senators with the canceler effect, which by the way is like infinite drain canceling 1 per turn because all you have to do is cycle the senator off the effect then grab with lott dodd next turn. Its re-god-damn-diculous. I do a little damage by draining somewhere like the podrace arena or some gay thing but its basically over.
FL -24
Highs: nothing
Lows: everything I played like a d.ick, my deck actually might have had a slight chance of winning if I could have done one thing right
4 (-14)
Game 5: Peaches and cream except against senate vs. Johnny Vegas’ (1607) I don’t know
I don’t know what his deck is because frankly, he drops 10 seconds into the round, not even realizing that he has an opponent. So I get the full win by 30.
FW +30
Highs: bleh, I would rather play, I was confident I could win ummm, being in positive diff again?? Maybe that’s a high
Lows: no game
6(+16)
Game 6: Solid Garrison except against WYS vs. Rich Hinds’ (1655) Hidden Mains
I gotta win my last game just because I would otherwise go 3-3 and that would be just bad. But garrison can beat hidden mains so its all good. I start normal while he starts Squassin, Insurrection, and staging areas. This game is thoroughly uneventful, totally a standard game of star wars ccg. I do the piett merrejk system thing while he does the tatooine system related docking bays thing. We play practically identically for several turns. I set up the executor to fondor; he gets wedge to tatooine with squassin. I set up walkers at 3rd and 5th marker; he gets mains to tatooine. We trade drains. He sets up tatooine celebration and menace; I set up rebel base occupation with a POTF at 5th marker and move executor to hoth. But my combined drains and direct damage are overpowering his drains and retrieval. He replaces my battle deployment admirals order with I’ll take the leader, puts dash at hoth, and moves his whole fleet over from tat (only a couple ships I think). I cancel celebration with zuckuss then move over to hoth, getting out more pilots on the executor also. Finally we battle but I imp command and win. Next turn I absolutely smack his leftover ship or 2, deploying both fett and bossk in ship just for the hell of it, cause he’s already down to pretty low life force after I drained/pinged him for a total of about 15 in one turn with the help of a garrison. He only survives for one more turn of drains after dash gets the living hell beat out of him.
FW +18
Highs: winning last game, garrison is now 10-2 in tourney play, placing fairly ok overall
Lows: pretty boring game
8(+34)
Like I said I finished in 4th place. Before that happened officially, I watched the "first place" game between mike gemme and eric hunter, mike’s senate vs. eric’s hyperdrive generator deck. Its pretty close but eric retrieves like mad with his objective and apparently mike had a couple cards sitting on the table not in play or something that he didn’t realize were there? I don’t know exactly what happened, mike you can fill me in on that. The top 5 were as follows:
1. Eric Hunter
2. Justin Desai
3. Mike "deck" Gemme
4. Stephen "the gov’na" Cellucci (aka me)
5. Ross Littauer like 4 diff behind me
Steve Brentson and Mike Schiemer both went 3-3, sorta unexpectedly. They prolly got 6th and 7th I cant be sure. Now time for everyones favorite props and slops (actually they’re not that good but here they are anyway)
MAD props:
Paul Maholick for lending me 3 Jedi Lukes and an EPP han for my peaches and cream LS. Paul is a really good guy just so everyone knows, and his contribution really helped my deck, cuz otherwise I would have had to use epp lukes and 1 capt han.
Props:
Jared for being TD
Eric for winning
Justin for getting 2nd even though he predicted winning :)
Justin for the good game
Brentson for the good game
Everyone else I played
the guy whose name I cant remember for apologizing about getting all hyped up
lat damage for being big in a bunch of games
Justin also for the title of the TR that’s what he said to brentson after asking how he did and receiving a thumbs down, its funny
you for reading (and reviewing with 5 stars yeah you know you want to)
Slops:
me for not remembering that guy’s name from game 2
the guy for getting mad hyped up about all that stuff
wys for being too good
senate for being almost too good
me for playing badly in a game or 2
that’s it. hope you enjoyed it and thanks for reading
- The Gov