raleigh-nc-john-waynes-a-bad-mutha-fuka
Title: raleigh-nc-john-waynes-a-bad-mutha-fuka
Author: Robert "Turin" Werbicki
Date: Sep 27, 2001
So like all my other reports, this one starts out with me talking to Mike Merletto online. About 2 weeks before the tourney he say’s theres a swiss tourney at South Hills Mall, and for once he actually has the right date. So I still don’t know whether I’m going or not though. Me and Kimo have been testing, just not all the time, Me and Mike had already decided that the MWYHL machine we had been playing was a pile of @#$%, since everyone was playing CHYBC now...or at least it seemed like it. So I am in need of a LS, as it happens I suggest to Kimo that he might want to give TIGIH Scouts a try, seems like it would have a good matchup vs. Watto, AOBS and Senate, maybe HD if they are’nt too fast. So he builds one, and it’s pretty basic, except he add’s some goofy ASP junk, but I get addicted to that deck and end up building my own version. For DS I had been playing a SOLID AOBS for a while, none of that racing horse@#$%, it’s strong on the force choke. So me and Kimo pretty much test out all the major kinks in the decks, but it turns out that he can’t go because he has to work. Friday rolls around and I talk to Eddo about whether he wants to go or not, he actually seems pretty interested and we try to work out some details with Mike, but then he get’s off cuz Brad get’s to his house. So Me and Eddo just kinda forget about it, but then when all my other plans to do @#$% fail, I just call Mike up and we work out the details. I take a shower and don my Tool shirt, Eddo is over my house 30 minutes later, I called Kimo up and he comes over, we test some and eat, then we go over Kimo’s for Brad to pick us up since nobody is supposed to be in my house, and Brad get’s there at 10. Me and Eddo hop in Brads car an we leave. The car is @#$%ing full and the ride is boring, just Brad talking about the raging sexual urges of Calebs mother...which Brad satisfy’s, of course. We get to Mike’s house and we just test until like 4 in the morning, I pass out on the couch and am awoken at 9 because someone decided to smack me with a pillow or something. So after I kick Eddo’s @#$% we test some more and eat some breakfast. And then we get into the car. Or we try to. Eddo’s having some qualms about being my @#$% and is’nt getting in the middle of the back seat (we’re trying to fit 5 people into Brads car) so he is @#$%ing about not wanting to sit there, but I just tell him to shut the @#$% up before I put him in his place :). So then when Eddo sit’s down Brad start’s pulling away leaving me standing there, so I whip out some James Bond-esque @#$%, chase down the car, jump onto the seat, kicking Eddo’s hand out of the way in the process, with which he was trying to shut the door but I’m still not in the car, just kind of standing on the side of the seat as Brad is driving down the road, so I half close the door so we don’t knock down a bunch of mailboxes and leap into my seat, damn I’m good. So Brad turn’s on the music and I tell him to play the NIN cd’s, so we’re tearing down the road’s and we pass some bikers, we slow down so God is Dead can have it’s full effect on them, then we pass them and I scream nice spandex @#$%er out the window. And then when we’re at some lights this old couple pulls up next to us and they stare at us as we have I want to @#$% you like an animal blasting away at them, it was funny. Besides that stuff, getting to the tourney is uneventful. So we get there and wait for some more people to show up, Matt Guinn shows up, which is cool, since everyone thought he was dead or somethin and he’s the highest rated player in NC. Brad has a bunch of people raving about writing on plain white shirts, and then we get started. If you skipped all that here are my decks again:
Light: TIGIH Scouts
Dark: AOBS Choke
Game One: AOBS Choke vs. Brian Speight’s Hidden Mains
I get down Kuat, pull Coruscant DB, move Xixor over there and draw the rest. He get’s down Tat DB and Alderaan, so now I know he’s gonna be doing OMDH’s too. I Twilek for BFHI, activate the rest, get that down, get Death Star DB down, drop Guri and a Vigo to Coruscant DB and transit them all to DStar DB, flip. He really can’t do much so he pulls Home One DB, Tatooine and draws up to 14, I pull out a Evader/Monnock and knock him back down to 8. My turn I get down Emperor (jank one) to Coruscant, transit him over to Tat DB and draw a couple, after checking my force ple of course. Brian pulls Tibrin and draws up to 13, so I am forced to pull out Evader/Monnock and knock him back down to 8 again. My turn I just activate, check force, and maybe draw a few. His turn he drops EPP Leia and EPP Han (Barrier) to Tat DB. He transits them to Home One DB, which I realize he could’nt of done, but it did’nt matter. I activate and drop Prescence to Home One DB, Fett with Gun, Snoova with Vibro Ax, Dengar with Gun, battle, capture Leia, shoot han, play Jabba’s Through with You, draw 3 destiny and he has to lose Han and like 19 more. He knocks Dengar off by shoting him. His turn he drops something and both sides of the Home One DB clear. My turn I just damage him and check force, his turn he does an OMDH run with Wedge, RSL, but only ge’s 3 back (2 from the Leia that got freed, and 1 from Wedge). I drop POTF, Zuckuss In Mist Hunter, Bossk In Hounds tooth and beat him down there too. Just kill him with drains and stuff after that. FW +32
Good: My deck worked to perfection
Lows: I guess that game kinda sucked for Brian
Game Two: TIGIH Scouts vs. Pat Hines’ YMSYL
Me and Kimo had tested this matchup out and the scouts seemed to win if you swarmed their sites early, so that was my game plan. I did’nt get a great hand, but that does’nt matter with scouts. His first turn Pat get’s down Executor Docking Bay, Admiral Piett there, 3rd Marker, Hoth Docking Bay and Wakeelmui. My turn I go get Madine, Home One DB, drop him there, pull Kensaric, as I am holding a Barrier or something if he drops Mara, so I don’t need to get Blount there, then I move Luke over to Endor DB, draw all but one and it’s his turn. Pat activates alot, plays Short Range Fighters to go get an Interceptor, drops Seinar down (at least I think it was that turn) drops Merrijik to Executor DB, pulls out Hoth, drops Blizard Walker 1 to Hoth DB and transits Merrijik and Piett over. My turn I activate alot (11) and go get another scout and General Solo, I think I signaled for Bacta Tank and dropped that. Give it up to Pat. I just suck up the damage and I beleive he draws up. My turn I activate another 11 and go get another scout. I drop Kensaric, Solo, Beezer and Blount or something like that to the Hoth DB, Pat try’s to Trample Han but misses. Battle, play Take the Initiative, cancel his destiny knock out both Piett and Merrijik and he stacks one. On Pat’s turn he drops Commander Igar to the 3rd marker, for some reason I think he’s going to move Igar over, so I barrier him, since multiple destiny’s are’nt kind to scouts, and so Pat drops a pilot (a DS-60 guy from premeire I think) and moves Blizzard One over to third marker. My turn I just drain, get a scout and draw some. On his turn Pat makes me lose some, drops Tarkin to the Ice Plains and Imperial Decree. My turn I go grab Cracken, and drop him and Obi w/ stick to the Ice Plains, battle, hack Tarkin, but he ghhks the damage and I forget to make him stack one. On Pat’s turn he drops 4 Tie Interceptor’s to Hoth, retreives a bunch and puts a cannon on one and builds his hand some. On my turn I drain and get another scout, draw some. On his turn Pat does me some damage, drops Tempest one to 3rd Marker, Igar get’s out of Blizzard One and Tempest 1 and they both move infront of my guys. On my turn I drop Chewie Protector, Panno?, and Orrimarko to the Ice Plains, cancel Igar’s txt and battle, play Insertion Planning, I win and make him stack one, he loses the DS 60 guy to attrition and I lose nothing. On his turn Pat sends General Veers to pilot Blizzard 1, battles, Igar get’s his txt canceled again, but Pat play’s Imperial Command to still add another battle destiny, I lose Panno to the Tank and he loses Igar and stacks one, Blizzard One and Tempest One run to the 3rd marker. My turn I activate to the tracked Insertion Planning, Edge for 5, get Panno out of the Tank, and drop Midge to the Ice Plains, Panno to the 3rd Marker, and move the Hoth DB crew infront of the walkers. Pat try’s to Trample Solo again but misses. On his turn Pat captures Luke with Lord Vader and transits him to the Hoth Docking Bay, and try’s to Trample Solo again, and misses. My turn I miss the duel, battle him at the 3rd Marker and we tie, he loses a walker or a 2/2 guy. On Pat’s turn he moves Lord Vader onto a Walker, and moves the walkers at 3rd Marker to the Ice Plains. My turn I duel, flip a 6 and turn Vader. FW+22
Good: I turned Vader. And Pat’s always cool to play against.
Lows: He had horrible luck missing the Trample on Solo 3 times
Game 3: TIGIH Scouts vs. Edwin Harris’ AOBS Racing
I was kinda worried when he flipped AOBS thinking that if he choked me it would be a tough game to play, but then he flips racing and I know I won’t have any trouble with activation. He does the first turn flip thing and I just take the damage. Home One DB is’nt there so that sucks and I just drop the <> DB to Coruscant, signal for Tank and deploy it, Luke moves to Endor DB and I draw all but one (Barrier) . He makes me lose less and draws some. My turn I get Madine to the Home One DB and get Kensaric (No spy’s in AOBS) transit Luke over to the <> DB. Edwin comes down with P-59, Snoova (no axe) and Fett. Battles, misses both shots, I slash Fett, and he loses everyone but Snoova and does’nt have any force to move him away, I flip 4 off the top. My turn, Beezer, Blount, Kensaric, and Brooks Carlson hit the <> DB, battle, Take the Initiative, hack Snoova, and it’s Snoova and 19 more plus one stacked. Move Luke over to Xixor’s site. Edwin drops Guri to Xixor’s site, battles, somehow I miss the hack and only draw a 3, so I just flip a couple off the top. My turn General Solo joins Luke and I battle, Hack Guri, draw a 5 and cancel his destiny. Stack another. Edwin retreives from race and I lose some. Then I drain for alot at his sites and beat up on Palpatine. FW +21
Good: Don’t @#$% with Luke
Lows: Can’t think of any, it was a good game, oh yea, the race sucked
After that game I go find the restrooms and when I’m walking back I see a John Wayne stand up in the store that’s hosting the tourney, I’m like, that’s badass.
Game 4: AOBS Choke vs. Edwin Harris’ Throne Room Mains-Old School
This matchup BLOWS. The force choke is negated since he already starts off 3 sites and goes first turn. I might have been able to pull it off, except my deck chose this game to crap out on me. My opening hand has 3 Vigo’s, both Snoovas and my extra Xixor, what kind of @#$% is that? To top it off my first turn, Coruscant DB is’nt in there, so I have to put down Death Star DB, which screws me, since now he has somewhere to throw a character first turn where I can’t just Barrier/Projective Telepathy the battle and then beat him off the site next turn. So next turn he throw’s EPP Obi there, yea. But that’s cool, I can handle it since I got Snoova in my hand and can capture him right? You would think so, but then when I get the Coruscant DB the vibro ax @#$%ing is’nt in there, so that makes the Snoova’s in my hand useless. So I drop 4lom w/ Gun and Aurra to the Dstar DB and kill Obi, except both of my guy’s die to destiny and he play’s Resilience, fun fun, that’s when one of those useless Vigo’s in my hand might have been a Put All Sections instead, hooray. Then he nails 4LOM w/ Gun out of like a 4 card lost pile, my other one might of been useful this game (read on). Anyways, I move Xixor over to the Coruscant DB and draw some more. Next turn he drops a Jedi Council Chamber and Echo War Room down and draws some I think. So then I get down Guri and a Vigo to the Coruscant DB and move them over to the DStar DB, flip. On his turn Edwin comes down with EPP Obi, and Jedi Luke, hack Guri, and I end up losing all of my guy’s while he plays Resilience or something. Then he nails Xixor out of a 15 card lost pile with OOC when my other one is in my hand, garbage. My turn I build force and draw a couple. On his turn EPP Obi and Tawws come ack to the DStar DB. On my turn I come down with Djas Puhr, EPP Fett and Dengar with Gun, battle and shoot at Luke and Obi, thinking that with their defense value 5 and me having quite a few 5’s and 6’s I can rip em a new one. Anyways’ I pull double ones or something and then give up and nail Tawws with a 4. But I draw double 6’s so it does’nt matter about the @#$%ty weapon destiny’s. (As a side note, all of the draws I’m getting are luck, since I have’nt been flipped long enough to start tracking 6’s around.) Anyways, Djas is left jerkin his @#$% alone at the DStar DB. And then he comes down with Qui Gon, EPP Obi and another Jedi Luke (wtf!?!? I just killed those bastards) but misses the swing on Djas, so I only have to lose him and 10 or so more. In the following turn’s I get set up at Kuat with a Presence and some ship and at the Jedi Council Chamber with two Vigo’s, but before I can reinforce he kicks their asses with Lando w/ Ax and Corran Horn, but misses the excluding and I only lose a Vigo. Then I got my @#$% kicked some more. FL-29
Good: Read the game
Bad: Everything that could of went wrong pretty much did
After the game I’m talkin to Mike and we figure out we got good chances of playing each other.
Game 5: TIGIH Scouts vs. SYCFA Flip w/ Dark Path craziness
When we played this matchup last night things went bad for me, I could’nt battle because of Maul, so I could never clear him off the Death Star and drain him there too. He start’s off fast twilek’ing for Dark Path first turn and getting the Conference Room out, dropping Superlaser from hand and moving the Death Star over and drawing up. My turn I pull Home One DB, get Madine there and pull Kensaric (Only one game so far have I feared a first turn spy, but did’nt need to get a spy down for double agent since I had a barrier and fallen portal in hand.) and move Luke over. His turn he puts a Death Star Gunner alone at the conference room and moves the Death Star infront of Alderaan. My turn I activate 11, and get Blount, throw him and Brooks Carlson at the Death Star gunner, and consider throwing another scout down but don’t. Then when I battle he Put All Sections on Alert’s Carlson, yea. So he only stacks one. On his turn he get’s another Gunner down plus Maul. My turn activate some and move Carlson and Blount to the DStar DB. His turn he finds a 4 with Dark Path and blows up Alderaan. Get’s down a system and follows me with Maul. My turn I pull Cracken and throw him, Chewie Protector and some other sout at the 2 Death Star Gunners, battle and.cause 9 overflow and a card stacked. On his turn Mike moves Maul over to the Conference Room and sets up Thrawn + Chimera at Endor, retreives 3. My turn I set up a weak I Hope She’s Alright. Wuta to Endor DB, pull Back Door, Kensaric there, Panno too, then move Panno over to Endor DB and Wuta to Back Door (Barrier in hand incase he try’s to send an Imp after Luke and kick Panno’s ass) move the Conference Room crew with my oher guy’s at the Death Star DB. (I need to get them at a BG site so I can put Obi down and beat the @#$% out of Maul) and make Mike lose 1 to IHSA. Mike’s turn he comes down with EPP Vader and captures Luke, I barrier Mike sets up some other Star Destroyer at some other system and moves Maul infront of guy’s at DStar DB. My turn I move Kensaric over to Endor DB and start digging for Obi and Control’s. I control the drain for 5 at Endor and Mike runs vader away like un little girl, because he knows I have scout interupts to c0ckslap him. My turn I drop Bacta Tank, and EPP Obi to DStar DB, battle, miss the hack on Maul, but he ends up losing both to battle damage and stacing one. I get Luke back, lose Chewie Protector cuz I have the scout one in my hand. Mike’s turn he drains, picks Luke up with Vader, losees 1 to IHSA and it’s my go. One of my drain’s get’s cancelled w/ Tarkin’s Orders and I move EPP Obi over to Conference room and dig for another Control. I cancel his drain of 5 again, and EPP Obi and Vader knock themselves out, Luke goes back to Conference Room. Mike loses 1 to IHSA. My turn I drain and it’s his go. Mike’s turn he drains and digs for tarkin’s order’s. Drain of 3 get’s cancelled and he has 2 Left to my 10, he get’s another drain of 9 in. FW +1
Good: It was a close, intense game.
Bad: Tatooine Maul
Game 6: AOBS Choke vs. Mike Merletto’s Hidden Main’s
I gave some advice to Mike on the deck, so I know the list, but that does’nt matter, cuz he knows mine too. Get Kuat and Coruscant DB down, move Xixor over there and draw. His turn Mike gets down Tat DB and Tatooine, with Red Squad 1 and Wedge there. My turn I get DStar DB out and Vigo to Coruscant DB, transit them over to DStar, flip, check force and draw some. Mike’s turn he gets down Jedi Luke to Tat DB, and gets down Alderaan, draws some. My turn I get to drain 1, Waha, In yo face! : P I drop Zuckuss in Mist Hunter to Tatooine and he get’s barriered. Then Mike drops Falcon with Han and Ric Olie piloting cuz the bastard knows I would play Projective Telepathy if he deployed Ric’s ship too. I lose Zuckuss and 14 more. Mike loses Ric and moves Red Squad 1 to Tibrin. At this point we’re concentrating on the game and then we hear this electronic horse start up (you know the ones kid’s ride on...) it was right next to us, and theres this little kid sitting on there with a big grin on his face, I dunno, it was funny as hell. Me and Mike started up a beat on the broken down table we were playing on to the rythym, it was some funny @#$%. So then mike get’s down Mos Espa DB, backs up Luke with Ben. My turn I get down the jank Emperor to Coruscant Db and transit him to Mos Espa. Draw a few. On his turn Mike draws some aswell. Next turn I come down to Tibrin with Zuckuss In Mist Hunter (Barriered) and Bossk In Hounds Tooth. On his turn Mike drops Home One, Ackbar, and Hash’nn from reserve. I draw pretty good, lose Zuckuss and he loses Wedge and Red Squad 1. My turn I drop Stinger and Guri (Barriered). I curse Blast Door Controls for not being on table this game, that’s already 3 Barrier’s one of which made me lose 14 force, gaah. So Mike drops Thaneespi but I barrier. My turn I drop Fett with Gun and Dengar with Gun to Tatooine DB to off Luke, but one of them get’s barriered (Gaah, Titties!) I battle at Tibrin and don’t kill anyone but lose Guri. Move Bossk and Stinger to Alderaan. Luke get’s his saber, but does’nt battle, so now I know he’s got a Fallen Portal in his hand. The Home One follows me to Alderaan. For whatever reason I throw a Vigo to the Tatooine DB, Guri hops on Stinger and moves to Tatooine, Bossk moves to Tibrin. His turn Mike throw’s down Qui Gon to tatooine DB, and Leia to the Falcon. My turn I throw Aurra sing and IG88 w/ Gun to Tatooine DB, one of them get’s barriered. His turn Mike moves his crew at Tatooine DB infront of Palpy (After I ditched my I Have You Now...go figure) I move a bunch of @#$% around and I have Dengar w/ Gun, EPP Fett, Iggy and palpy infront of his junks. His turn he battles, I miss everyone but play Jabba’s Through with You, he hacks someone and I draw a 4,5,6 for destiny. He loses everyone but Qui Gon and I lose everyone except Palpy, I flip. My turn I activate up to my 5 and 6 and actually do some drain damage, I drop Fett in Ship to Tatooine, battle, Draw my 5 and 6, kill Han and Leia and lose Guri to attrition. I move Aurra and a Vigo to the Mos Espa DB with Palpy. His turn he battles, hacks Palpy and Smoke Screens for a 7, my side clears and Qui Gon still stands. My turn I drain. His turn he drains and transit’s Qui Gon infront of Xixor and a Vigo. My turn I run the Vigo to mos espa db and Xixor to tatooine db. After that Qui Gon chases arond one of my guy’s for a turn before he dies to my drains. He flips over his last 4 cards and it’s 2 Signals and 2 OMDH’s, that blows. FW +2
Good: Yet another good, intense game against Mike
Bad: He never got an OMDH off, that really sucked for him, Not getting Blast Door Controls out when he barrier’ed everything, and he only plays 1 Barrier!
So I go 5-1 and get 2nd. The Scouts go undefeated and the Agents goes 2-1 which is weird, since I had less faith in the Scouts. I get a gift certificate to the store that hosted the tournament, but they don’t have any packs, and only some Premeire rares, so of course I get the John Wayne standup, cuz he’s a bad mutha fuka, Eddo’s mom comes and I get dropped off at my house.
UBER PROPS:
Brad Reinhold, for winning, and driving us around
Props:
Mike Merletto, for being a good deckbuilding partner (even if we have’nt come up with anything lately) and the great games
Eddo, for coming and sitting in the middle seat : P
Brad, for being a good freind
Caleb, for coming up with all the goofy @#$%
Me, for being a prodigy at James Bond-esque type stunts
Kimo, for playtesting
Matt Guinn, for showing up
Pat Hines, for being cool to play against
John Irving, for saying John Wayne was a pimp, and for putting rage lyrics on the back of his shirt
The Tool Concert, for being here in a week
Trinoc Con, for being here in a week
John Wayne, for being one bad mutha fuka
Slops:
Anyone that wears spandex while operating a vehicle
Whoever woke me up at 9 in the morning
The spacing, I hope it doesnt get @#$%ed up
Podracing
Censorship