aim-high-melb-oz-18-11-2001
Title: aim-high-melb-oz-18-11-2001
Author: Haakon ".prototype." Geburtstag
Date: Nov 17, 2001
so i rock up to adams house the night before, to get some practice. i spend some time tweaking my decks, in particular my Garrison landing deck which i didnt end up playing (fcuk, i prolly woulda won games with it :P). do some trading with adam n sean...and then john lampe rocks up. luckily the smell of cigarettes masks the horrific corrosive body odour of said individual. my landing deck loses twice to john’s ’i dont know whether i want to retrive or play solid’ WYS, cause i only play 2 tramples. i hand over some ’customised’ cards to ronnie for his decks, namely:
for DS: ’No Money, No Drugs, No Deal’/’You’re A Junkie??’
for LS: ’The Hashish is All Gone’/’We’ll Need A New Cone’
i figure if you’re gonna play hyperdrive, might as well go down in style. especially cool is the effect, ’Cocaine Will Do Fine’. this proves to be a pain in my a55 the next day.
after that, iliyana cuts the grass (you know what i mean) and i smoke a couple out of ronnies pipe. everyone else finds me really funny, but i dont see what the FCUKING LAUGHING MATTER IS im calling you out sean, adam and ronnie. full on, they have no clue. my dad is at the fcuking door and sean goes something like ’sorry we got your son stoned’, and at the end of the tourney adam goes ’you scrubbed out cause you were high’ when my dad is sitting at the opposite table. YOU GUYS ARE FCUKING IDIOTS. but i digress. so we go for a walk to 711, and i sing the wizard of oz with iliyana, while everyone else is laughing at us. i pick up some pizza chips, and start eating cause im damn hungry...by the time we get back i feel a bit sick though..like, the point before you throw up after boozing too much. but for some stupid reason, i get the munchies and ask adam for food, he gives me a pack of 2 min noodles...i am in no state to cook them, so i just open the pack, pour on the seasoning and eat em straight out. whats so damn strange about that?? when you’re hungry, anything goes right? right! so stop harassing me about the munchies, adam! :P
anyway, i sort of clear up before going home, and work on my light side a bit more, cause it got trashed by 32 when sean played it vs adam. gooneetay + coruscant = not as good as some would have you believe. i wake up at 6 (?!?!) and tweak a little more, then on the road.
i get harassed by some random scrubs, like i dont know, A.Amy and R.Wilcox, for rockin up a bit late...and everyone in the room is laughing at me, and saying i had a big night. i dont know what the fcuk you’re all talking about. we’re playing at the back of the mall, so theres no entertaining chick stories this time, sorry. anyways. my decks:
1> WYS Solid w/ saber luke and resilience (hayes = cool)
2> ’No-Dachi’ Revenge Racer.
so terry gives some snide remark about a big night out, and hands me a command card, then pairs me up with...
game1: no-dachi vs Michael Wokling ’Inner strength of Poo Cone’
ARRRGGHH christ the mirror match, this is what i needed quigons end for, but i didnt pick it up cause...um...i just forgot about swiping it from adz. sheeite. alright, i kick off with a maul going sick at the 2/2, with image of darklord tech happening...until quigon comes down. ouchie. we duel, and quigon prevails like the b!tch he is. crap. i play the emperor, but he cant move over to duel ARRRGGHHH this was such a bad game i dont wanna talk bout it anymore. choked myself to death. all my attacks got thwarted and i got drained out.
FL -19
good: none. btw, if you get a chance to look at Michael’s deck (Big Yoda) its pretty good, check it out.
bad: everything...god, i hate my stupid decks.
so yeah, john lameP got trashed by rod’s HDADTJ Solid and we saw him resleeving cards and changing his deck in between games. that was funny, i gotta do that next time. next tourney, my goal is to have a seperate deck for each opponent i play. absolut tech.
game2: wys vs some dude’s autoflip AOBS
um. his starting interrupt is twilek, for presence. this guy has no defensive shields. i subconsciously put this down as a win. i drain with impunity at kessel with a lone han in his falcon. a phylo with scrub support satisfies strikeforce for me. he sends some guys to the cantina, but suicide luke cuts and wipes out aurra, vigo and some other jank. i stop his drains with proj, and Vengeance damage is cancelled with Honor. not much to say, a clean win.
FW +18
good: winning.
bad: it was too easy.
game3: wys vs Mike’s watto
mike is cool. we played watto in the last tourney (if you havent read and reviewed, go do so :) and he got a little shafted, but THIS time, he’s playin aggressive, hard and fast. our games were punctuated by multiple cries of ’YOU’RE A SLAVE!!’ with nasal voice inflexion. with a solid play of emperor and janus to mos espa, with watto at junkie yard, there wasnt much i could do on my end, except setup on kessel and at the DB with phylo and some scrubs. EPP luke made several runs on watto with his saber, but in the end, the direct damage slammed me to itty bitty pieces...ARGH. step sucks.
FL: -16 odd
good: mike’s always good to play against, and his deck was real solid today.
bad: losing of course :P
so we grab some lunch at Hungry Jacks, and sean is most dissatisfied with his ’chicken’ burger. let me tell you about hungry jacks(burger king for you americans). my mates work there, and they have come to this conclusion:
’customers complain when things are left out, not when things are added’
for instance, you can put in extra mustard, and customers dont b!tch. plus they get spatulas and dunk them in the toilet water before using them to flip burgers. so yeah, be afraid, be very afraid. sean signals to the serving chick that her burger is crap and we go back to kick off the next matchup...
game4: no-dachi vs some dude’s Light Senate mains.
hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. intriguing. my loco godhand gives me mosep, emperor, image, and presence. mwhahahahahahhahahahahahahahaha. god im good. he’s stupid enough to play the council chamber, so he gets choked out for a bit, losing heaps from reserve. i play vader to the 3/2. he finally musters enough force to lay a beatsquad down. panaka, jedi obi and some scrub coruscant guard. vader got screwed over bigtime. lost about 5 from that. but not before killing panaka used and next turn combating obi. the emperor holds his ground at the 2/2 against quigon, winning a couple of combats, but losing a few battles. ouchie. janus comes and goes, in time with the podrace. i retrieve 6 and get my mauls back. finally, double 7 lays out and quigon go byebye. (could someone get a ruling on this, can you use 2 combat cards in the same lightsaber combat?) then, obi gets circled, i finger some scrub and beatdown on a lone guard with vader and maul (only pulled one in the final couple of turns :P) to clear him out.
FW +18
good: no-dachi came off alright...not as quick as id like...
bad: making some really arrogant moves with regard to forceloss..could have saved some differential.
game5: no-dachi vs Ronnie’s ’The Hashish is All Gone/We’ll Need A New Cone’
oh god. i think this is gonna be a walkover. but i am SOOOOOO wrong. emperor and mosep to 2/2, image. ronnie responds with a quigon and stick with lando to exclude emperor and beat on a lone mosep..GOD that hurt. massive losses. i choke myself out AGAIN. all attempts to respond combat arent high enough to send quigon or obi lost, thus i get drained with my own presence for like..4 or something each turn. ARRRGH. i manage an emperor to the 3/2, but i cant move over to combat. eventually i get desperate and play presence to his chamber with mosep, but he gets beaten on by SENATOR PALPATINE my god this is a sad game. he FLIPS HIS OBJECTIVE by stacking 4 cards on Cocaine Will Do Fine and draining at Wattos Junkie Yard with a LONE PADME. alright, thats it, ive convinced myself to utterly trash No-Dachi cause it absolutely sucks, what were you guys thinking giving it 5 stars, you are ALL ABSOLUTE FOOLS!!! (cept for neal, cause he’s cool)
FL -8
good: well, i have an awful lot of lord mauls to heat my house with.
bad: god, you name it, it happened. no-dachi is a terrible deck.
game6: wys vs Michael Wokling Revenge beat.
grgh. i suck. i hate revenge. anyway. i set up kessel, ground control at the DB quick with melas & scrubs like normal...but damn it, michael sends down maul with double saber to cut melas and mirax, ouchie. i still get 2 destiny and everything dies. send down han and scrub next turn. a mara says hello to kill han and i get cleaned out. mara moves to cantina. i play vergence on her drain. beatdown with random scrubs and karrde, kill mara dead. michael plays the emperor (yeah, THE emperor :P) and moves him over to docking bay 69. oopsie, i left a scrub at the cantina, down comes a lone combo dr.dre to beat, i forfeit scrub. fight the emperor with some more scrubs, but they all die. meanwhile, mike is losing to uncontrollable fury the entire time cause he’s fool enough to play choke vader in revenge :) mwhahahahahaha. go phylo in space. but in the end, i get nailed with his uncancellable 3, and none of my CTV’s come out. fcuk it all.
good: meh. step.
bad: losing to mike again. there goes my rating.
so i completely scrub out today, going 2/4...my god, ive never done worse in my life. i come like...4th last...
1> rod lee (you scumbag! evasion WYS my ass!)
2> adam the pornstar (lost to lampe, what a scrub!! this guy is our champ FFS)
3> michael wokling (new objectives rape things)
4> john lampe (nothing needs to be said, its all already taken for granted)
5> who knows..i dont care, you all suck.
and terry’s prize support is notoriously crap, so i throw it all away. two bright hopes? for chrissake...
so there, im fcuking pissed off. i shouldnt have scrubbed so badly, but i did. maybe next time...i shall have my revenge on the sea of jizz.
hey, it really hurts if you pour tabasco sauce down your penis and jack off. just a warning.
’i was gonna win this local, but then i got high..
i was gonna get a positive total, but then i got high...
now im a total scrub and i know why..
because i got high...’
cheers,
giles.
PROPS:
terry for running the tourney
adam for taking over the tourney, and for kicking ass.
sean mackin for his expert sage advice, we must catch up during the week.
ronnie wilcox for utterly destroying people with No Money No Drugs No Deal...once they’ve tasted that crack, theres no going back.
iliyana for teaching me about the intricacies of dope. and for skipping along singing wizard of oz.
neal razi for discussing Revenge tech with me..cheers man.
hayes hunter for making WYS so good
all of my opponents.
SLOPS:
all the scrubs i played who beat me within an inch of my life.
all the REAL scrubs who didnt come, so i could rape them and get some rating back.
terry for putting us out the back of the mall where we couldnt hit on random chicks like we always do. dammit!
anyone who’s called me a stoner in front of my dad. fcuking hell, stop it!!
hayes hunter, for making WYS so popular :P
john lampe. period.