haakons-revenge-25-11-01-melb-oz
Title: haakons-revenge-25-11-01-melb-oz
Author: Haakon ".prototype." Geburtstag
Date: Nov 25, 2001
okie, big week this week, a lot of going round to adams place to decktest, which means good music, good company and good players. there are the usual jokes going round, particularly the ones aimed at me, eg. getting the munchies, getting ripped, basically anything to do with dope. all lies, i tell you, i didnt inhale...i just..breathed real deep. we have the thursday night usual, play against the crew and get some tuning advice from adam and sean for my dark deck. we decide to list a whole bunch of quotes in our TRs from now on:
1> because some people make really good calls
2> cause im running out of funny jokes
the good ones are listed at the end.
the night before consists of me, luca, sean and adam testing...have a few laughs until..well, lets just say someone came who wasnt welcome...adam was waiting for a lift to this party with rod, and the pigs came round, preventing adam from using Nabrun Lee to move away before he got hit with the Imperial Arrest Order. (sorry adz, couldnt help it)
so rod and adam bugger orf, leaving luca, sean and myself to bum round at chadstone shopping centre, we planned to see Zoolander, but the queue was just so long, we figured ’fcukit’. there was also a helluvalot of hot jailbait chicks with bra size bigger than their age. druuuuuul.
so we just walked home, talked tech, and i went home for some decent sleep.
i woke up at 9:15 and thought AARGH im late, but then i call sean, and its revealed that the tourney is actually at 10. mwhahahahhahahhahaahaha you rock adam.
so my decks are as follows:
DS: YMSYL Machine of DEATH
LS: Hayes’ Pile w/ Revo choke
game1: DS vs Cody Ky’s Duel of the Fates.
oooh. close close game. it is essentially a drain race as he sets up with jedi, while i offset it with damage from landing and RBO. nothing REALLY remarkable about this game, actually...just..really close. a good example of the current meta: you either battle and make your game interesting but risky, or you suffer and deal tremendous amounts of damage really fast. the 4 icons from the generator and core really helped.
FW +2
good: nice and close, good fun
bad: my memory’s shot :P
game2: LS vs Ronnie Wilcox AOBS Racer
uh ohhhh...ronnie has the ballz to play wattos box. i am scared. for AGES we just keep talkin 5hit and drawing up, while the race happens...xizor moves to DS:DB with iggy, 4lom to get Vengeance happening, but i have my elite card, RONNIE GETS BUSTED which screws ronnies vengeance, cause all his dope got burnt by the cops. i send luke down to suicide slash xizor, we both lose everything, i play OOC, i get iggy, i go ’oh no, that suxors’, then i play another one, and i get xizor, i go ’omygod im so lucky! in yo face ronnie!’ and he goes ’ahh you suck’. so yeah, he never flips. he wins the race, and i lose 9 cause RONNIE GOT BUSTED thats what you get when you’re a chronic druguser, ronnie. i get a bomar munk down at obis hut to drain him with quigon...he sends down aura with boba and aura gun, fires, fcuks up, i lose qwigon, oh noo..he loses bob...next turn i send down obi with another quigon who sat in my hand from turn 1 to beat the snot out of aura, and she gets completely raped by like...16 or something crazy. oh, and then i retrieve with They Win This Round. thats what you get for being a gothic wh0re.
FW +20
good: playing ronnie, cause hes fcukin cool, and he’s gonna get me into Fear Factory for free.
bad: OOC xizor. this turns into a wicked loco trend later on vs mike wokling..but more later.
speaking of gothic wh0res, oh wait, not lunchtime yet, ill get to it. next game...im doing fairly well so far, so i expect a hard matchup...i finally get to play my arch-uber-grand-admiral nemesis, rodney lee.
game3: LS vs Rod Lee’s HDADTJ SOLID
rodney has not lost a game in tournament play so far with his huntdown. i am desperately craving to break that record. and at first, i think i can do it. 2nd turn, i revo the med chamber with 1 force available, knowing full well that rod has only 1 ev/monnok in his deck, and i go ’i DARE you’. he cancels, which then leaves me 2 more revs which i fish really quick, completely choking rod’s monkey. he gets like...3 force a turn or something crap like that, until i put the bomar munk down to drain with qui and lando. then he gets enough force to play a vader down with the emperor at the exe dock bay. they move to the Ds docking bay, and this is where the game goes downhill. i send several suicide attacks down: chewie, han, leia, first strike, bac tank, they win this round, all this other good 5hit...but he chokes chewie, i get 2 destiny, not enough to clean out the site...another attack with leia and han(no chewie) gets thwarted by vaders saber and sniperstrike, leaving han vulnerable. it was all downhill. drain 3 thanks to my Win This Round, which didnt happen the entire game.
FL -17
good: finally having a chance at bending rod over.
bad: fcuking it up.
so its lunch, and we go down to Macca’s to get food. on the way i am introduced to adams mate phil who we’ve heard a lot about, and he’s a very cool guy. i am told by adam that my next game is the mirror match vs rod, so i prepare myself for a game against his WYS Evasion. ronnie, adam and phil get served, but then the b!tch runs away to make fries or something, and i wait for ages before i get mine. fcuking fast food my a55. we go upstairs and talk 5hit, adam and i make fun of these two 13 y/o gothic chicks who look like absolute skanks, but adam raises the valid point, ’we ARE just a street down from flinders station’. let me tell you about flinders station. its this really old train station with a bunch of clocks and some stairs outside, and it is home to a horde of try-hard goths, or as i like to call them, the ’clowns with frowns’. yep, thats right, chicks who look like they’d screw a donkey if it looked twice, and guys with dodgy tophats and long fingernails. and face paint. LOTS and LOTS of face paint. but anyway, thats my rant for the day. we go back, and i steel myself for the matchup against rod.
game4: DS vs Rod’s WYS Evasion/retrieval
grrrrrrrrr. okay. there is one linchpin move to this game...but ill get to it. okay, i set up some walkers for Landing, Rod stocks up at the system, flips WYS. next. i save up loads, play Chimaira, GMT, Admirals order to send take the leader to used, initiate. i draw 2, so does he. i get a 2 and a 4. rod, like the buttfcuker he is drew two 6s. enough to wipe out chimaira and GMT. in my overflow i lose a couple of walkers. 5hit. game over. bliz 4 tries to make an apperance, trample talon karde, draw a walker, FCUK. clean out my side. then rod sets up celebration. his celebration outweighs my occupation, lets put it that way.
FL -20
good: playing it like it was meant to be played.
bad: just a run of hard luck prevented me from having my revenge.
5HIT im damn pissed off right bout now. i tell adam i need to play against a scrub to salvage my rating, he says ok, and pairs me up with...
game5: LS vs Michael Wokling Revenge
uh oh. i hate uncancellable drains. but its pile, so i am confident. alright, so he gets a first turn maul to the generator. i play suicide luke to cut down maul, but a force field later, luke is dead. i play some twixes, and revo the blockade bridge. with the massive amounts of force i have available, i can afford tat quigon to maul’s site (reinfoced with dannik Y2J) initiate battle, draw 1 (OH 5HIT) and then draw a 6 (HOLY 5HIT IM GOOD!). because maul is hit, he is forfeited first. as soon as he hits the lost pile, i out of commision. FCUK YEAH!! maul taken out of Revenge? i like that. quigon moves over to take advantage of the righteous drainage at the gen core. mike is choked out, with GooNeeTay out. vader comes down, tries to combat quigon, draws a 7, and uses a 6 as combat card, i go STRIKE BLOCKED suck on that!! mwhahahahahahahaha but then he senses it and i go..oh. damn. well, there goes my anti-revenge tech. i only lose by a bit thanks to quigons stick, and draw of 6 and 4. so i lose my 2. owww. during MY turn, deploy suicide obi, start a fight, cut vader, overflow of 8 ish force. bring da hurtin. i drain for a while, he comes down with combo dre and bossk...to the GEN CORE?!?! what have you been smoking, mike?? i slice dre to used, leaving me to beat solidly on a lone bossk. from there on in, nothing much happens...i try to edge leia, but i fcuk up and lose her, who cares? he tries to counter assault a drain of mine...i go OH CRAP my differential!! and then look at my hand...WTF? why am i losing to counter assault? sense! draw 4, cancelled! mwhahahhaha. clean win.
FW +18
good: the odds of hitting maul: 1/1. the odds of hitting vader: 1/5. someone do the math. whatever it is, its REAL low. but it happened, and it won me the game.
bad: naught, nil, nothing.
in between games, lampe beat ronnie’s agents of black cokk, and was crowing about it to any scrub he could find who would listen. quote: ’is ronnie pi55ed just cause im a better player?’ i just shut up until he gave me his p-59 for ISB objective, then i ran as fast as i could. its people like him who wreck the game...no wait. you cant wreck the game unless you’re decipher. no, people like lampe just suck. full stop.
yeaah baby. i have left scrubsville. 3:2 and one more game to go. and im matched up against.....michael again. uh oh.
game6: DS vs Michael Wokling Duel of the Fates
i played this vs cody, and i was damn scared of facing it again. i counted my blessings that my direct dam outweighed his. but to pull it off another time? we’ll see. so i set up landing. motti on bliz 2, chimaira to hoth, battle order, good setup. then...THEN comes quigon to screw up my day. ARRGH. immune to attrition, and with clawfish on the table, mike’s battle destiny is CRAZY. draws a 6 to wipe out the whole lot. then i come down with igar, tempest 1, fight. smack. i lose more people, he loses some force. dammit. to finally end it all, i come down with bliz 1, veers, 2nd igar, wham. the overflow is good enough to make him forfeit quigon the powerhouse. sexcellent. i spread and occupation, combined with landing. mwhahahahahahahah direct dam to the max. hitting the wokling for 9 per turn is just crazy. i wise up to the fact that michael isnt playing any space, so i spread and drain for 3 at kashykk. with no way to cancel drains, and too many pain spots to concentrate on, he picks up and we shake.
FW +22
good: beating a bad matchup twice in the same day.
bad: quigon, immune to attrition, killing several walkers. dammit.
so i go good enough to finish like..3rd or 4th, i forget. i dont really care, cause i went 4/2, and i ONLY went 4/2 cause of some crappy luck vs Rod. im not a scrub anymore, wooohooo!!
1. Luca the MAN (schooled us all, even though this is his exam period)
2. John Lampe (go away, and never come back.)
3. Rod Lee (HEY ROD! URE A KUNT!)
4. me! im back, baby.
5. other people....
Something Crap: Ronnie (get rid of the fcuking hyperdrive deck man!! ure getting hammered!)
Last: Michael Witten (cause he always is. heh.)
so yeah, that was good. i did what i came to do, which was salvage some rating and beat the crap outta people. which i did remarkably well. oh yes!
and hey, can someone explain to me how you can use 2 hands to masturbate? i cant do it. my hands are too big...
thanks for reading, guys.
giles.
BIG PROPS:
sean mackin, for all the good times. its been a great week, just a shame you got a bad run of luck...dont quit!
PROPS:
adam, for hosting the tourney, having us over, and generally going beyond the call of duty to help me with my game. if no one’s said it yet YOU FCUKING ROCK.
luca, for his expert opinions, and for winning the thing. congrats.
ronnie, for all the free cigs, and for playing the Hashish Is All Gone. its TECH. and for tryin to get me free FF tix.
everyone i played, for being good opponents, yet making the right mistakes at the right times ;)
SLOPS:
adam, for getting the Imperial Arrest Order slapped on him. (bad taste i know, but you said yourself, man, if you cant laugh, then it gets to you...hope this TR helped dude)
rodney, for having his winning streak screwed, and for drawing two 6’s to clean the chimaira. HEY ROD! URE A KUNT! :)
lampe. cause i really dont care, ive got p-59, and i can buy ISB for 2 dollah from anyone, and for bragging about how good he is. REAL human beings dont do that. and for cheating...im sorry, did i say cheating, i meant ’resleeving’.
BEST CALLS OF THE WEEK: sean, if you read this TR, chuck all the others ive missed into your review.
’racism is so underrated’ - adz
’id buy that for a dollar’ - me, about the chick presenting funniest home videos. this becomes the catchline whenever we see some really hot girl.
’9 out of 10 commandments is still 90%, and thats a High Distinction, so i still get into heaven right?’ - sean, about his thieving criminal past
’another twix doesnt matter when i only have 10 force left!’ - sean, losing to adz
’THATS FCUKED!’ - a notorious swccg player who shall go nameless.