h2o-at-fcon-beer-toe-sex-and-cards
Title: h2o-at-fcon-beer-toe-sex-and-cards
Author: Justin "H2O" Desai
Date: Dec 7, 2001
October 19th 1980 Justin Desai is born
Twenty one years later, he goes to freedomcon. This is the story of everything in between.
Well, not really. But this TR will have so much random info about non-card issues that you will be begging me to stop. If you don’t like local floss (as someone once called it), skip to game info. Thank you
It all started last year, I went to dcon had a blast, and of course I would go in 2001. This summer and last spring was spent trying to qualify I’m sure you’ve read the exploits of me, Mike Gemme, and Steebo trying to qualify but failing. So none of us qualified, September and October were spent making decks on paper (thank God for class!). Then big D cancelled Dcon, so we switch the D for an F and we are all set. Same people, same cards, same fun, and same world champion to be crowned.
So Me, Gemme, steebo, My friend (nen) Ben, Andy klema, Brian c, and Jeremy oakes decide to all go to fcon, we know that Hayes and bastian will be going as well so we got a nice 9 person posse. Yo Word!
Only problem is Jeremy is in Connecticut, Andy in Pennsylvania, Mike in New York State, Brian is in New Hampshire, and Ben and me are in Boston. Well basically it ends up being me Jeremy, Ben and Andy going from Boston to Virginia Beach and meeting geminem, Steve, and Brian down there.
Monday the 12th of November, I end up in the emergency room because I get a chicken bone stuck in my throat and I cannot breathe. They stick a claw down my nose and down my throat to get it out, They say, come back later in the week, I mumble that I cant because of freedomcon, doctors look at me strangely and say okkkkkkk how about next week? I say ok.
Wednesday 14th of November, aka lets get this show on the road. I get up at 4 in the morning, take a bus to down town Boston, meet up with Ben, take another bus to New Haven, meet up with Jeremy, we hit the road. 5 hour drive to pick up Andy, 6 hour drive from Penn to Virginia Beach .
.Except, we are stuck on the GW bridge for 3 hours(no lie). It’s one of those traffic jams where you turn the car off and take a nap. GAY! We do see a gas station called, "the gaseteria"(like cafeteria but for gas). We also see a motel called "motel" weird. Well we drive down to Penn and pick up the man, aka Andy klema. We drive down to Virginia beach but along the way there are 2 strange accurances. its around 11 at night and there is a meteor shower so we say lets pull over and take a look(we’re in the middle of nowhere). So we head to a rest stop but there are too many lights so we drive right through (and almost hit a guy). So we get off at the next exit and realize that a cop car is tailing us, so we just say lets keep driving and he will eventually leave .8 miles later he is still on our tail. dammit. So eventually we say we gotta talk to him, so we turn around, blind him with our high beams, and ask him where we can pull over. He says, "well you went through one about 8 miles back."(he was just waiting to say that)" so we say, "no we want a dark place(insert 3 second pause) where we can watch the meteors. Him, "oh" Us, "can we pull over on the side of the road?" Him, "no" Us, "ok, bye"
Yeah, well the second accurence is this, we’re looking at the meteors, and Ben, who is a pretty ummmm odd kid(but a great kid), is like you know what I hate? those f.ucking neutron stars. We just think this is the funniest thing ever. and I am like "F UCK! those F ucking neutron stars!!" and we do this for like 2 hours. We decide that tomorrow during the last man standing when we draw our opening hands we will be like, "Fuc.K!, those damn neutron stars I dunno you had to be there.
Well we get to the hotel at 1 am and we see Hayes (balding I might add) playing cards as soon as we get there. We meet up with other peoples like bastian, alex tennet, and matt the man berta. I call bastian "BW" and hence his new nickname. Everyone is @#$%ing tired but do we sleep? HELL F.UCK NO! We goof around, steebo shows up and shows us to our room and we playtest and talk neutron/f.uck tech. Word yo!
Thursday 15th. We wake up, Ben takes a shower and blows his nose for 15 minutes.
Steve: What the hell is he doing?
Ben: Honnnnnnnkkkkkk!
Steve: what the f.uck?
Me: leave him alone he’s blowning his load!
Wake up, go to ihop, ihop is king. I flash my nips at everyone at ihop, including 2 policemen and 4x 90+ year old ladies. They have no idea what to do or say. The old women giggle and the police men each other that "is that illegal look?" I guess it isn’t. We talk eggs, syrup and women. Typical con stuff. Come back to the hotel, play bball with pras, Hayes, steebo. Steebo and me beat pras and Hayes cuz Hayes just cant play basketball despite the fact he’s 6’7’’(sorry bro). Come back and play in the last man standing. Like 45 people in the LMS. cool stuff.
GAME INFO--
Game 1, my wys vs. Ben rodriguez’s Watto.
PHUCK! I travel 18 hours to play my best friend. Great. And in last man standing too, even worse. We play, I set up space, he sets up ground. He saves a force one turn, I have a barrier cancellor, down comes luke, angry chewie, and 2 smugglers, he losses p59 and like 19 force. kessel drain all game long sucks for him. I win by 35. sorry bro=)
Highs: winning
Lows : playing ben
So Andy wins, mike losses, steve loses to jeremy(PHUCK!). tournament is down to 22, I gues 22 people dropped=).
Game 2 my mkos fortress vs steve something’s wys chasm start.
Well he starts chasm and the usual wys stuff. I draw my opening hand and see zuckuss and mist hunter and 4lom. good, I activate and see guri and stinger in my force pile. holy molly. he drops wedge in ship to kessel I drop the fleet and flip on land. Wipe him off space and cause some overflow. Nice. Drain on land. A few turns later I battle his philo with fett and iggy, he dodges, I cancel. Philo and like 26 cards. game. Full win by 26.
Highs: Do I get the bye next round?
Lows: damn you Andy!
So Andy gets the bye, I play evan fitzgerald’s BHBM.
So I set up space with a kessel drain. He deploys palp to the chamber, now here is where I make my mistake, if he deploys palp to the chamber, it means he’s dueling, so why give him luke right? Wrong I am an idiot and give him Luke. So I am draining for 4 a turn, and making him lose 1 to his objective. Sounds good. he is making me lose 3 a turn to the duel. Good. But wait, he starts playing Sith Furys, I lose 9 a turn now. for 4 turns in a row. Whooo boy that’s 36 force that I have to lose. I lose 3 6s off the top so I cannot hope to track for the sith furies either. I edge to stay alive to counter assault kills me too. Full loss by like 19.
Highs:evan is a cool guy, he even apologized for the chessinest of his deck. he gave me a beer cool guy!
Lows: darn.
So I’m out of it, and in the next round Andy bites the dust to evan too who ends up beating everyone and being the last man standing. Congrats dude, you’re cool.
So I still like my decks(mkos and WYS) and decide to play em in day 1(wys of course and mkos instead of huntdown with colo claw or a solid senate). So I’m set, mike wants to change his decks but first we head on down to room 511, aka party central. Everyone is drunk, steebo, Hayes(also high), berta, Andy alll drunk or high. Good times. Hayes pisses on himself and pukes everywhere, as does steebo and tennet. Ahhh bad times=). See my pictures when I develop them. While all this drunken chaos is going on, mike is like "should I play 3 ozzels in my isb or 2?" Me:"I dunno man I am tired" Him, " Oh my god the tourney starts in 10 hours, what am I going to do ahhhh I don’t even have a deck .ahhhhhhh!!!!!"
We go back to room 801, and decide to make mike a new ds deck. He says imp command combat, I say no way. That would never work. He says humor me and makes it. I say yeah but it’s a 70 card deck. He says no way. I dunno I am skeptical Hoostino warren comes up and techs it out. Props man. It looks decent. Mike says he’s gunna play it tommorow. Cool. Go to bed at 5 am. Get up at 9. whooooo boy. sign up. get paired. Oh baybee it’s on. Word Yo!
Game info again!
So there are a lot of pretty high ranking players in day 1, more than I thought there’d be. 65 people in all means 14-15 make it to day 2.
Game pairing go down not really any big matchups early on .I don’t really remember though.
Game 1 my dark vs. ?????’s wys.
His deck is standard wys, but I get a great hand with all the beats ready and he plays really slow so I just set up my chamber and he plays little space so menace fades isn’t in effect so I drain for 6 a turn and then he deploys melas to the cantina, I drop the beats(fett, iggy, dengar), cancel dodge. battle damage =36 he plays houjix combo, I cancel that game over.
FW by 27
Highs: winning
Lows: Quick game, ’bout ten minutes, what do I do for the next hour?
So my friend ben lost(watto, tigih). Mike won big(qmc and lordi mauli), steve won ?(qmc and my mkos). Andy(mkos and qmc) I think lost. In the only other game I remember kevin shannon beat chris shuot.
Chris shout looks like Pat from Saturday night live’s girl/boy friend. You know the long blond hair, tucked in pants, weird voice weird personality. Shout it all out! Not trying to hate on him but I don’t like him.
Game 2
My light vs Guzman’s friend(really cool guy) DS’s combat mains.
Well his deck is basically 7s, mauls, vaders, and counter assaults and that’s basically it. Good concept but weak to wys. He sets up maul on naboo early but I get oddles of activation and drop a ship, and 2 guys to docking bays, I’l take the leader and have both a houjix and dodge in hand. Niceness. Menace fades in effect. So he drains for 2 and I drain for 5 this goes on for a while as he has trouble finding a vader and losses a couple of them off the top .counter assault hurts me a few times but late game kessel drain helps me retrieval helps too once he finally gets iggy out to capture my dudes. Too many drains for him though. Good game. FW by 13.
Highs: he was really cool. Activation is nice.
Lows: no battles?
So mike lost because he doesn’t play 5 mauls, steve is 1and 1(I forget if he won game 1 and lost game 2 or vice versa.) Andy won, ben lost(=(.
Next game I play kevin shannon’s mkos.
Well he starts mkos with iao/sp, and mpoints weird. Shows myo as his rep so I am unsure if its’ mains or fortress. It’s fortress. Early on he sets up the chamber and I set up systems. My hand looks like this, melas, luke’s saber, jedi luke, run luke run, barrier cancellor, and <> docking bay .he has a lone abbysin at jabba’s palace. I see my chance to win the game right here so I do the whole battle, run luke run thing he ghhhks. Well it’s a chance you take. He comes down with fett and iggy next turn and beats me down I houjix. We both chuckle. He pays to drain for 3 the whole game .and he has mosep which sucks cuz I keep losing guys of the top and he has search and destroy out. I have a drain of 3 and 1 he comes out to space, but I end up getting a legendary starfighter out of it and he gets knocked around. The turning point is that I cannot get a site for battle plan and a guy for search, he on the other hand gets out a late game zuckuss to carida to satisfy battle plan. It’s wicked close and if I could of held a site all game the game woulda been mine. But great great game. Loss by 7.
Highs: great game, he played flawlessly.
Lows: If I had to play it over again, instead of going for the early beats would have just set up I site with like 5 guys then set up space but you live and learn.
So mike lost I think steve lost too I believe, I think Andy won Ben won, oakes is 0-3=(.
Well dark won like all the games that round(odd) so end up playing another 3-0 kevin shannon again. In the mirror match and his wys.
game 4 kevin shannon wys raiders.
Ugh bad matchup wys is a pretty good matchup, wys raiders is a bad matchup He starts the camp jizzes on me. Game goes like this, I get the beats in my opening hand he flips with melas at a site and a raider craft at another site. I had been saving force and had jabba at the chamber. I deploy bib to jabba’s palace and flip .wait, he says the barge deck is a"non tatooine site so mkos cant flip with just 2 sites(there were only staright up tatooine sites out). I say no as long as the barge is on tatooine it’s a tatooine site. We don’t argue and just ask the judges, evan fitzgerald comes over(hi evan) and he seems to see it my way turner’s wife(?) sees it shannon’s way(although the rule book spells it out). They both ask doug faust and he rules it shannon’s way what can you do. Well here is the situation, I have fett, dengar, houjix cancellor, dodge cancelor, jabba’s through with you in hand, myo too as I said he has melas at a site so I could have dropped fett, dengar, shoot melas, cancel the react by the raider(or a dodge) and cause him at least 20-30 overflow depending on the destiny(7 power +3 +4, 4 destinies, cancel his, +2 to each of mine). I think about doing this without flipping but realize then it will prolly only be about 10 damge I see 2 abbysins in my force pile so I figure I’ll draw for them and flip they are like 8 force down so it sucks go to his turn .WAIT! judges come over oh you were right, mkos does flip sorry.(evan was cool about and flat out said he was sorry, the other two judges were complete @#$%s about it). Shannon was wicked cool about it and let me take back two lost force that I would have lost to a draina nd let me cancel it with myo. You cool man his turn he drops goo nee tay, and like 3 raiders to each site with crafts..there goes my beatdown potential damn he sets up space with artoo and threepio there goes any attempt to fight for space. There goes the game. Full loss by 18.
Highs: kevin played a great game I don’t want to take anything away from him he played great
Lows: bad ruling what can you do?
Well I talk to people about and I am totally emotionally drained I mean two back to back high intensity games to a great player are tough. Pretty much everyone is 2 and 2 ben and oakes are 1-3.
My next game I play one of the brits who is a cool guy he just happens to play there is good in him with like 5 epps obis and like 5 resiliences qui every turn, grab my telepathy, grab my nsp, grab my barrier .great. I try to kill his luke fallen portal. great. I am dumb too and screw up I don’t remember this game--full loss by 7
Highs: how did I only lose by 7?
Lows: ugh
I am pissed feel sick(my throat feels like it’s got 764387364721 bones in it now and not just 1 and I am pissed. Luckily I am a member of the mass crew and I talk to mike and Andy you guys rock. Cheer me up. They tell me that I cant drop and that I am the man ect ect I love you guys!
Mike and Steve are 3-2 so is Andy!!! Huge, ben is 2-3 oakes I think is 1-4, and would go 1-5=(.
So in my next game I play this guy don’t know where he’s from and he was playing that thing’s operational. Basciaclly he activated waaaaaaaayyyy more than I wanted him to. he played like 273678436 weird @#$% cards including that things operational and like 2334 ties cannons(luckily I play a few maneuvers). Well the game goes like this I want to flip early cuz he both the bridge and death star 2 out, so I drop dash to tatooine, and mirax to the cantina without any barrier, dodge houjix cuz I figure dash can hold pace and he wont play much land in his tto deck .wrong, down comes mara, saber battle, draw a 4 , mirax and 5 ouch lost some key cards, don’t remember which but they were key. Rest of the game is me draining for 4 at his endor docking bay with philo and jedi luke him draining with maul, mara and mofos at the cantina .so the game comes down to the tatooine system huge fight for it I get out legendary but lose captain han, my ships get shot so do his. So the game is incredibly close he is causing me 5 force loss a turn, me causing him 6 he has more card though what can I do, he gets out maul’s saber. ouch wait ralitiir frieghter captaiin on the falcon wisks off to endor all his ships are ties so he can’t follow. wedge stays at tatooine he drains I have 3 cards left battles, I have to lose wedge and like 10 force game, wait houjix from lost pile. I guess I win. great game.
Highs: great game, we had like 923849084398 battles.
Lows: playing like a chump, him accusing me of cheating when I looked in my reserve deck, saw 2 6s, a 3 and a 2 shuffle, "wanna cut?" Him, "no" me battle, draw 2 6s(its just odds) him thinks I’m cheating bah.
Well mike, Andy and steve all won! hell yeah they are all 4-2 with high diff .at this point we all think no 5-3s will make it though. So I am playing for pride, they are playing to go 6-2. Ben won his 3rd game in a row and is 3-3 also I think
Well my 7th game of the day I almost puke before I am so sick and I play this kid with a porn star name I forget what it was he plays bhbm troopers?
Well game goes like this I set up space he sets up the cantina I pay to drain for 4 he pays to drain for 2 I loop my edges and beat down late game Full win by 38.
Highs: winning
Lows: the kid was wicked annoying and asked me if I was done my turn like 736764463284 times. I am like "activate one, two, thre him: "are you done yet?!?!"
So ben won again 4-3 huge. Mike lost to gogs, klema lost, steve won .so steve wins he’s in. mike wins by a decent ammount and he’s prolly in Andy has huge diff and if he wins he’s in. I need to win by like 40 to get in gah.
My 8th game(its’ nightime now wow time is weird in tourneys, doesn’t fly by but you never think of it.)
My mkos vs one of mmclure’s boys’ ls senate hit and runs
This was a fun game he was really cool(efridge I think his name was.) Basically I would set up my palace and he would drop down epps .but since I could drain and he couldn’t it was going my way but eventually it got really tyte cuz I just ran outta guys after I while. Late game I beat down with fett and dengar though and that won me the game great game full win by 12.
Highs: great game
Lows: not a win by 30
So I finish up like 10 + 50 or something mike loses his last game, goes 4-4, as does Andy ben surpises everyone and goes 5-3!!!!(bad diff though)...Steve wins and is in day 2 good job steve. I end up getting like 17 15 people make it. I missed my roughly 10 diff. Ahh well maybe next year, wait the game is dying? .awwwwwwwww sheit!
I cannot believe I remember that much about my games .too much and I am such a @#$% for remembering that s.hit .well I am feeling down Hayes says something to make me feel better but makes me feel worse I just want to go to sleep, but my boy Andy comes over and tells me we have to go to ihop, I don’t want to go cuz I am pissed, bascically forces me to go, and him and mike say a lot of @#$% that makes me feel better which is wicked cool cuz now that I think about it they actually had a better chance of making it into day 2 going into game 7 and they prolly felt the same way I was yet they were all cool and it makes you think. So they are my boys and when I get married or die you can come to my wedding or funeral Also Mrs. baroni called for steve but answered the home so that made me feel a lot better too. Mrs. BARONI! (token mention of her in one of my, mike, or Andy’s TRs).
So we go to Ihop it’s actually a sucky ihop night and they screw my order over but I am so dazed that I am like spewing profanities and come up with toe sex .(visulaize it). Berta is there, he is my dog Hayes thinks toe sex will never work actually noone does but I do and they all think I’m a sick p.huck. oakes eats a cheese stick like a @#$% and its funny as hell and a total con night that you just have to be there to fully appreciate as on all nights I flash my nips at all the people in ihop and some local tough guy @#$% tries to stare me down but luckily ben and oakes are there and noone wants to phuck with us. Because between oakes , me and ben there is 700 pounds and between oakes and ben there is 600. So back the phuck away!
We get back to the hotel around 12, Hayes, berta, guzman(who also came with us, and is a wicked cool guy) and bastian go off and do there day 2 prep thing. I go and @#$%ing drink and then sleep hell yeah. I get up around 10 help baroni with his decklists and wish him good luck. Just want to say how cool baroni was. He could have been like all I made it and you didn’t and @#$%, but he didn’t he was really cool about the whole thing and was wicked cool all weekend. He is the shiz except he kneed me in the balls that wasn’t cool and if there weren’t 1832789 people around I woulda murdered him.
Downstairs I hang out with people I never met before chill with prasnatch talk to brian hunter a little and he seems like a decent guy save being a little @#$%y. Personable though and knows how to hold a conversation. So it gets underway and yannick lapointe who has always been my hero at this game says what’s up to me and asks me what I am playing for decks today, I feel embarrassed and tell him I am not playing and he says something like he is surprised because I am a good player or something and that totally makes my day that not only that he thinks I am a good player but that he actually knows me its like when you are a rookie in the NBA and Michael Jordan says to you, "hey I hear you are a good player" I dunno it was weird but cool.
Well you all know how the tourney went, so I am not going to give updates about day 2 games
but I will talk about the day The day officially started at 2 PM that’s when I had my first drink me and Andy, who I would have to call my drinking buddy for the whole weekend started early and stopped late. We drain drank and drank somemore. I took off a few hours and played in this wicked gay tourney that mike won(hell yeah who won tourneys at fcon on Saturday? Mike Gemme and some guy named bastian). Mike and me start saying "yo word!" whenever we want to say anything.
Mike:I got you orange juice.
Me: Yo Word?
Mike: Word!
Brian : you guys are wicked gay.
I dropped the last game of the Tourney to go to the beach with Andy and mike kesseling (cool guy) and we drank on the beach and it is wicked weird to be on the beach at night. We see a fat runner with no shirt almost drown when he runs to close to the shore. good stuff.
Well we go back to the hotel .see everyone, see mike playing scrabble with "sloppy Twa " and he is just getting destroyed =). although "ken" is a proper word.
Bastain comes out of the hotel and hangs with us and this is cool and I show him the Britney flyer that I have he and he drools and it’s a german/American culture shock slash bonding moment. Ben meanwhile is taking cards out of the commons bin and is litterally asking everyone to autograph his commons. he honestly got like 50 autographs including everyone who TD’d the whole weekend, david aker’s wife, and some other totally random guys who I think were from Ohio. he is so weird buy so cool ben is the man.
Bout 6 o’clock on Saturday me, and Andy run outta beer! PHUCK! So we head to seven eleven and as we leave the hotel who do we see but TJ holman. At this time Brian hunter is in 1st place and we ask TJ how he could let this happen?!!?!? He tells his ghetto buddies that he got stopped by the police and he has some pretty funny stories to tell which I cant remember but it was good. He informs Gogolen that he is no longer 3cg gogolen looks crushed. I introduce TJ homan to Brian hunter and they say very little to each other but are cordial(I think they both nodded to each other). It was good stuff.
So day 2 ends and the top 8 are determined .Hayes is in which is cool, as is bastian scotty L is in too which is wicked hot. Meanwhile, Brian C came in second at jedi knights and that is wicked cool it seems like everything Hayes can do star wars, brian does one better at YJ or jedi knights. Must be that T shirt he has=).
Well in between the playoff and final 8, Me, Mike, Steve, Brian, Ben, Oakes, and Andy go to Ihop for one last time and the best time.
Basically it’s a classic Ihop old lady waitress .7 rowdy guys, random shady customers who look at us weird and thru cracked teeth, police chase across the street. We just have a grand old time and tell the waitress that Brian won his JK medal for the broad jump and she is like , "’oh my" how long was the jump" and mike is like , "20’4’’" funny @#$%. anyways ..we get back, watch the final, drink and have a grand old time. bastian wins the world and tells heidi to "shhhhh" too which is a huge standup thing to do cuz she was telling us to shut up the whole time and then bw told her to shut up so it flipped the whole thing and made her look foolish which was cool. thanks BW! Well we all go to sleep wait we don’t. We f.ucking stay up because the final ended at 5 in the morning!!!!(the hotel staff was waking up). Around 7 I hit the road, with ben and brian and we drive straoight for 10 hours back to boston .wow what a weekend!
Props and Slops
Maddest props:
Mike Gemme and Andy Klema. I dunno guys, why do you two get maddest props? Well every big con, every big trip, every big event, we plan together, play together, and hang out together at the event. If this is the end I will miss hanging out in the lobby at cons with you guys more than I’ll miss anything else. Peace .
Big Props:
Brian C and Jeremy oakes. Brian first you drink my beer then you don’t thank me for driving you home ? WTF? Thanks for the rides and beer guys!!!!
Huge props:
Bastian, Steebo and Hayes bastian you’re wicked cool and Hayes, if it wasn’t for you I would not be playing this game right now. You are wicked cool and a good friend. Steebo can I have sex with your mom if I ask your dad nicely?
Weird props:
Ben! You are the man, what more can I say. Memories for a lifetime.
Props:
Matt Berta--you are cool I am honored you think I am the most preverted person ever, that’s some pretty prestigious company.
Alex tennet, Scotty L, Tim Guzman, All my opponents, evan fitzgerald, kevin shannon you guys were classy and cool .Cons work because of people like you.
IHOP! I ate there how many times ? Why does it have to be described so thoroughly in the TR? I dunno it just has to be.
Gilrs in wendy’s I didn’t mention them in the TR but they were wicked hot.
Chris gogolen and Chris Shout(both named chris, coincidence? I think not) Not props cuz you guys are cool, props because you guys make great villains for Trs from me and Mike. Whats a good story without a bad guy?
props to decktech and everyone who helped put this event together.
Rooms 801 and 511. Yo Word!
Props to everyone I talked to, hung out with, brushed into at freedom con and forgot to mention. You guys are cool too.
Props to god for not letting me die from the chicken bone that woulda been a bad way to go!
Slops:
To me for not making day 2
To people whom say this wasn’t worlds.
To anybody who woulda went to dcon buy didn’t go to fcon.
To shout and gogolen I dunno why but yeah slops for you just because (you’ve been typecast as bad guys fellas.).
Laters people, I can’t believe I wrote this much about nothing wow thanks for reading.
H2O-Justin desai