twilight-games-12-15-01-chase-the-cans
Title: twilight-games-12-15-01-chase-the-cans
Author: Rypcord "Rypcord" Kline
Date: Dec 16, 2001
I’ve played in about 18-30 some tournaments at Omnidon’s. At Omnidon’s I played against, people like Drew Scott, Rory Dibeler, Gay Steve, Alan Mazer, David Cheung, TJ Holman {I beleive I got to play him once there, not sure...}, Chad Bowser, Cody Gavigan, Engi, Mark Freed, Jeremy Kauffman, his frient Scott, James and Eric, and many, many, more people.
Since that year, the shop moved to Twilight Games, and for me {a poor mexican} its alot harder to get to the new shop, since the old shop I could walk to, this one is a 20 minute drive. Quite a bit of difference.
Well, this year, Chad Bowser’s Mother In-law kicked him out of the shop, since she technically owned the place, and placed a MONKEY, Phil "Eek Eek" Marconi to run it. In this time period, the store absolutely SUCKED. Sales dropped drastically and everything was bad. Then, Marry {the Mother In-Law} kicked Phil out, and had Fat Kid work there. Chris Palante, Fat Kid, did a little bit better then the monkey, but due to his laziness, the shop didn’t "prosper".
So now, the shop is in about a five thousand dollar debt. And, the shop will be closing on December 31st, unless they can make five thousand dollars {it aint happening}.
So, yesterday was probably the last StarWars tournament I’ll ever be in at that shop, or in any shop that ever had to do with Chad, Omnidon’s, or Twilight Games.
This tournament, Directed by James Leiser, was a Chase the Cans tournament. Entry fee was 4 food can products. James received THREE boxes of Theed Palace to run the tournament. Each player had one can with tape on it. If you had a can with tape on it, you must ante it up, if you don’t have any cans with tape on it, you just put up a regular can.
At the end of the tournament, for each can with tape on it, you get 2 packs of Theed Palace, and for each other can, you get 1 Pack of Theed Palace. And then, depending on your rank in the tournament, more packs, and if you pull anything special off, you get more packs as well.
For this tournament, we had 10 people. Which is a decent turn-out for how tournaments have been going around here.
I stayed up til about 2:30 AM Friday night on DeckTech talking to people, and typing up my decks to use for the tournament. During this whole proccess, something or someone must have hit me in the head, because my Light Side deck absolutely SUCKED HUGE DONKEY BALLS. My Dark Side deck was decent.
My Decks:
DARK SIDE: My Senate deck of DOOOM: A bit modified from its 1.6 version.
LIGHT SIDE: A basically modified version of my Droid Mayhem Deck: 1: Version 4.0
What I realized about my LS deck was, that, a) it can’t basically do anything against Space, and b) its only way of retreiving was Thank The Maker and Ref3 Lando.
Rory and I drive up to the shop to see Palante and James already there. James gives us a nice little Christmas present of some PHAT Japaneese Silver Sleeves, that are perhaps the best sleeves ever.
Then Drew rolls up, and I get a few key cards for my sh!tty LS deck {though, I didn’t know the deck sucked yet}. Finally, the rest of the kids show-up.
In the mean-time I play Drew, James, and Rory several times in Raw Deal and once against Rory in StarWars.
SPECIAL NOTE: This morning, I noticed my mom bought Lucky Charms for cereal. So I opened it up, and found a Watch. I was like, WOW, a Lucky Charms watch, this must be Lucky! So, for the remainder of the day, whenever I did the Stone Cold "WHAT?!" thing, I could look at my watch, and then do it again like he does on the show.
Finally the tournament begins. And first round, I get paired up against Drew, DAMNIT.
Game 1: My Dark Side {Senate} vs. Drew’s {QMC} [1904]
I did not know what Drew was playing going into this, so I was at a slight disadvantage, since he basically knew my deck inside and out with a few minor details missing. And, then, when I draw my opening hand, I notice something.... I clearly did not shuffle well enough.
Opening hand:
Tatooine Maul x3
Maul’s Double Blader Saber
Emperor
Janus
DS2: DB
Naboo: TPGC
This is a good hand, EXCEPT against QMC. I drop the Palpy and Janus to his Cloud City site, and save up my force. I drop my sites and its his turn.No Senators, so no flip first turn.
On Drew’s first turn, he takes control of Bespin, so for remainder of game I deploy +1 to his CC sites. He drops a Twass and EPP Leia, drops the Celebration, and flips. Uses his Tunnel Vision, and its my turn.
My turn I drop Maul, with Saber, and battle Twass. I chop him rather easily. Then for destiny, I draw like a 2 or a 3, and he draws a 5 {Ref3 Lando}. Being a total dumbass like I am, I totally forgot about Phantom Menace, and I lost Maul even though he was completly immune to attrition, and then I also forgot to place the card onto my used pile {there goes the possibility of recycling a 7}. From here on, it was him draining for like 6, and me draining for 3 with Janus/Empy. And he drops Battle Plan so I have trouble draining. It takes me about 6 turns to get to Senators that I can use to Flip. By this point, theres no hope for me. I got one last good battle in against EPP Leia and Lando, that Scoundrel, with Lord Vader, Ref3 Fett, and I Have You Now. I drew poop destinies, and he drew decent destinies. I lose Fett. And, then on his turn, he drops a rather large beat down squad, and decimate Vader.
Lost.
0 [0] {-31} [-31]
Game 2: Me {LS} vs. GAY STEVE {DS}
[Mark Cimino]
Well, I use my poop LS Deck. This is the game where I realize it actually does SUCK. It takes me about 3 turns to Test 1 and pass it.
There’s something you have to realize about Gay Steve. He is the most Horrible Game Player EVER. He uses Set Your Course, for the activation, and he uses Mob Points to get Wakuliumi. {or however the hell ya spell it}. His whole game plan, is to deploy like three hundred Tie interceptors there and retreive force. Then deploy Dreadnaughts and move out.
Well, I realize that I only have one Falcon and one Landing Claw in the deck, and thats all my protection against Space. SUCK.
Now, here’s a list of the reasons Gay Steve is gay, just so you guys out there would like to know:
1. He hits on the youngest MALE players there.
2. He pokes people in the chest region to talk to them.
3. He has a very DUMB looking Mustache.
4. He sounds very feminine.
5. He use to play Pokemon {and hes like 30 years old}
6. The Pokemon he did use, that did maneuvers like "Harden".
7. His name is Mark Cimino, and the Cimino is pronounced: Seman-Eno.
Theres the list of his gay qualities.
Back to the game...
Finally, I drop EPP Luke on the Falcon at his one site when he finally moves out with the Dreadnaught. I had Claw in my hand. But, being a dumbass like I am, I didn’t read the card before putting it in my deck, or before I said I was done. So I told him it was my turn. I thought the "Claw" deployed like a React to a drain and caused the ship to attach. ERNT. I was wrong. So Luke caught it. I had to keep the Falcon there, or I’d be dead, so I lost a good amount of force. Finally, a few turns later, I amount a strong-comeback where I have like 6 characters on the Falcon. But, he Projectives the battle and I don’t have enough to spend the 2. His turn, he drops an X-Wing laser canon, and battles. He hits the Falcon, but doesn’t cause it to be immediatly lost. I forfeit all the characters aboard to save myself alot of damage, and he just lost a few Ties.
I get nothing going for a few turns, and finally I drop Boush and EPP Han to the DS: DB and break her cover and battle. I shoot and hit IG, and he captures Han and places him on my used pile. Then, with destiny Boush kills both Merejk {the system puller} and EPP Fett. Then, {and this is where the second BIGGEST mistake of the game was made.... where it cost me the game}, he deploys EPP Vader and Grand Moff Tarkin. I {at the time} didn’t realize that EPP Vader was already on table piloting a dreadnaught {he plays 2 EPP Vader, and like EPP version of all the bounty hunters.... but not their ships.... WHAT A GAY WAD!}, anyway.... He battles, chops Boush, and I get no destiny. His power is like 16 to my 4, and I’m forfeit zero. I lose Leia/Boush, and 12 more. Next turn, I drop TK-422 and Pissed off Chewie {Chewie, Enraged}, break TK’s cover, battle, and cancel Tarkin’s game text. He chops TK/Han, and then the destiny kills Chewie. {he drew A Few Maneuvers}, he ends up losing both. I end up with like 12 force. For the remainder of game, I just keep It Could Be Worsing, to take no damage from his drains. Finally, he Twi’Leks for a They’ll Be Hell, and captures it. Then, he Sienars and retreives like 8. Then, to stay afloat, I would We’re Doomed right as his control phase would begin {even though he got the first action of the turn, I just learned this then when James told me near the end of the game}. And due to Naked Threepio being on table, I’d lose 1D {Raw Deal term} a turn. I Thanked the Maker a few times to retreive some force {like 8} and this kept me alive a bit, but I never got the Falcon bit from it, or then I might have had a chance. Finally, James tells Gay...err... I mean Mark Cimino that he gets first action on his control phase, so he gets the drain of 2 at Endor, then I play We’re Doomed, and he gets a drain of 0 at each of the other 3 systems. Finally, it just ends even though {I know I’ll sound like a prick..... but I was trying to get a Timed game, there was going to be NO WAY that I’d lose to gay steve.... but I did!}. Gay Steve Beat me {that had to be the hardest thing I’ve ever admited, even harder then the time I told the chick I was having sex with on a monthly basis that I was doing another chick as well.... but thats a different story.}
Props: NOTHING. I FREKEN LOST TO FREKEN GAY FREKEN STEVE!
Slops: FREKEN LOSING TO FREKEN GAY FREKEN @#$%GOTTY FREKEN STEVE! DAMNIT! I HATE FREKEN GAY FREKEN PEOPLE!
After the game, I took a nice long walk around the shop, punching random obsticals {including one trash can}, and I messed that Can’s day up! Damn, I destroyed it! Cut my knuckle though, but don’t worry.... I’m HARDCORE! Ask anyone.... ask Drew.... I did the Rolling Thunder and landed when I did the flip, and heard like 30 cracks in my back.... it feels better now though, heh. I also took a Double Arm DDT onto a Steel Chair delivered by the big stinky Monkey.... but anyway.... back to the Report....
0 -10 [0] [-41]
Game 3: Me {DS} vs. Jay B. {LS}
Jay B, I don’t even know what his deck was. But, I remember when I use to be like him. He’s 9 years old. And he’s just grasping the game. He knows all the rules though {which is really good for him}, but he doesn’t know what is good and what is bad. His starting location was Anoat, with no starting interrupts, no starting effects, and no objective. My first turn, I Squabbling delegates for a Lott Dodd. Drop him and Yeb Yeb to flip. I figure, I won’t use Yeb Yeb, since it will either a) be to hard for him to understand, and b) to gay and annoying to do to a nine year old. On his first turn, he drops the City Outskirts, some Naboo site, Endor Docking Bay, and the Endor forest and an A-Wing to Anoat. My turn, I Lott Dodd to get Maul’s Saber from the Force pile. Deploy Tat Maul with DBLS {Double Bladed LightSaber} to his Landing Site. Then deployed Zuckuss against the A-Wing. Battle, and I draw a zero... and he choses to lose like 4 force from deck. I then move Maul over to the skirts and its his turn. He activates and draws. My turn, lose a card from hand, drain of 4 at the Skirts, drain of 1 at the senate. Drop Empy at the Endor: DB, and then drop Bossk in Hounds Tooth at Anoat. Battle. Draw 2 destiny {like a 3 and a 4} and he loses the ship, and like 12-14 more. His turn. He deploys EP1 Tatooine Obi to the Forest site and draws the rest. I activate. Drain at Empy’s site, drain at the senate, drain for 4 at the skirts. Drop old school Vader {Premier} at the clearing, after I Lott Dodd’d for a Ref3 Fett, and deployed him there as well. Battle, and draw the 2 Six’s I tracked {The Point is Conceded.... great card.} And he loses Obi and like 19 more. His turn, he activates and deploys a Naboo guy to the Naboo site. I activate, and drain at all my sites. On his turn, he drains for 1, and then says to me: "Well, I don’t know if you have any retreival in your deck.... so I will draw. That way, you can’t help your differential, and hurt my Decipher rating."
That had to be the funniest thing of the tournament!!
Full Win.
2 +30 [2] [-11]
Game 4: My LS Pile vs. Mike Wicky’s DS Hunt Down
Wicky, is a good youngster. Hes been playing for a while, and took his beatings as a scrub, but now hes doing alot better. He even won the EP1 only tourny at the shop a little bit back. But, it took him a while to get the Vaderster’s in play. I drop Honor of the Jedi first turn on him. So, I never lose a single force from Visage since he forgot on his turn. He wins the podrace though, but he has Watto’s Box out, and I don’t occupy 3 battlegrounds, so I don’t deploy the Racing shield. So, he retreives the 5 cards in his lost pile, but has to spend 11 to do so, cuz I have Aim High out. But, I lose my 11. He finally deploys Vader to the arena have the Race is over. For the first 6 turns that we were racing, he had P-59 and P-60 at Jabba’s WhoreHouse as Rory calls it {ie. the main Palace}. But, I deployed Projection of a Skywalker afterwards, so theres no drain there. He uses it to get the other JP sites for force. Finally, when he drains with Vader at the arena with Tarkin,I lost in the wilderness and place Vader missing. Vader’s like, "Oh god.... this is such a huge arena.... I’ll just take a stroll through it and it’ll be like the old times when I was Anakin and I flew through it, but oh god.... I think I took a wrong turn.... oh god!" He has no characters in his hand, so he says its my turn, and loses his 1 from Visage. {I already killed P-59 and P-60 with a suicidal EPP Obi}. I drop like EPP Luke, Tatooine Qui-Gon, and like Boush {but I don’t break her cover yet} just in case. I battle and beat the living sh!t out of him. His turn, EPP Maul Thok and Thug, and Dr. E & Ponda Baba. Battles. Thok and Thug are power -1 and Dr. E and Ponda Baba are power -4 {due to the lightsaber there}, Maul attempts to chop up Qui-Gon, but misses, and Luke cuts him clean in half. He draws a 2 for destiny, but since old Yoda’s at the Hut, I lose nothing from the site, he loses all. My turn, I drop Lando, the Scoundrel at JP and break Boush’s pus.... I mean cover, and move her over. The top card of my lost pile is Lost in the Wilderness, {a 4}. Later on he, deploys another EPP Maul, attempts to drain, and Maul goes missing as well. =-)
Finally Visage kills him with my drains of 5.
Full Win.
2 +15 [4] [+4]
I end up being in 4th, due to Wicky being 4 [+15] so, he took 3rd. Overrall... not sooo bad....
In my Theed Palace packs, I pull:
DS Senate Hovercam {Thank God}
Captain Tarpals {in the same pack as Boss Nass [error in my favor] and his electrople}
FOUR DARK SIDE OBJECTIVES
AI Captain Panaka
Drew Pulled every Admiral’s Order out of his 18 packs for winning.... oh yea.... and a Darth Sidious.
Palante pulls a EPP Maul, and an EPP Qui-Gon. DAMN.
I later trade a FOIL Coruscant Yoda, a FOIL Qui-Gon’s saber, the Panaka I just got, and 2 Tat Jar Jars for the new Dark Side RPG book.
Me, Rory, and Drew then put our money together to get Starship Troopers for like 13$ after it was 50% due to the shop closing. Its a fun game. In the first practice game, I beat Drew and Phil’s troopers with my arachnids.
Also, me, Rory, Drew, and James went out to get Pizza if anybody cares.... and James gave each of us another extra packet of those PHAT Jap sleeves.
PROPS:
For James organizing the last tourny here.
For getting Theed Palace {even though, overrall its a rather poop set}.
For Palante for not being to much of an a$ss for the day.
For Rory’s parents to drive us there.
For all the player’s showing up.
For Drew winning it, and not one of the newbies, its a more "fitting" way to see a normal local win rather then a newbie scrub.
For James giving us extra packs of Theed Palace and the Jap Sleeves. THANXS JAMES! =-)
SLOPS:
For Gay Steve being gay.
For Gay Steve hitting on little boys.
For me scrubbing out.
For me losing to GAY FREKEN STEVE!
For my Light Side sucking total anal hole!
For me not winning the tourny, hehe.
Gay Steve’s Quotes of the day:
"Thats enough from the Peanut Gallery...."
"Oooh.... strong."
"Clearly.... your much better then me."
Poke’s random little kid in the chest. "Hi! I’m Mark!"
"Ooh Drew, your so sexy!" {Okay, he didn’t say this one}, LOL.
Well, thats enough from me.
-Ben Kline
--Ben Mexican
---Rypcord Kline
Signing off from Twilight Games.... for the last StarWars tournament time.....