joliet-il-2-16-02-aka-dont-quit-sichta
Title: joliet-il-2-16-02-aka-dont-quit-sichta
Author: Al "MoTU" Schaefer
Date: Feb 16, 2002
if you dont like unexplained swearing, cursing, and colorful expletives highlighting a tourny report; stop reading now and go review my decks.
begin tr
all right, i guess this tr begins wednesday night. my inline hockey team is 1-1 going into the game and we’re playing the team that beat the team that beat us when we had a f.ucked up goalie playing for us. supposedly these guys are the best in our league. i scored 2 goals in this game one off a bouncing rebound and another that i top shelfed to make the goalie look like an ass. we end up winnin 11-4. i dont know how these guys thought they were the best in the league cuz they sucked major donkey dink and played like a bunch of scrubbs. not much happened on thursday cuz i took a vacation day from work since there wasn’t anything for me to do. it takes an act of congress for us to get a project from baxter healthcare, but once we get some work, i’ll be busy again and making overtime. thursday night i go to games plus to see if ne1’s playin sw, but no, it’s all lord of the race again. i play a few games with my hobbits of doom and i school some gay nazgul and gay gandalf decks, but i decide that the the game is too gay and i go home and watch the olympics. nothing much happens on friday either except the US hockey team wrecks finland 6-0.
all right, now im psyched for sw. ron fonck is the td today in beautiful joliet IL and it looks like we have about 12 people at the tourny today. my rating going into today is a beefy 1776. it would be about 100 pts higher if it werent for a bunch of f.ucking ep1 tourny’s going in as regular tourny’s. my decks today are mega combat with few changes, and winklehaus qmc, not quite card for card, but still pretty damn close.
game 1: qmc vs Scott "snoova69" Sichta (1793) speed deal.
well this ought to be a pretty crazy game. i never played the qmc vs a tdigwatt and i always thought it would be a tuff matchup. surprisingly it was a close game. scott tries to start both helper cards but i tell him that the free executor effect isnt immune to alter and he’s like " o f.uck, there goes my deck. F!UCK YOU ALREAD!!!!" sichta’s pretty pissed but it’s damn funny. first couple of turns neither of us do anything good, i set up obi at a site and he sets up some gay unique troopers at the all too easy chamber. i dont know which troopers they were, but sichta assured me that he was gettin like five destiny’s there. he gets executor and thrawn out to the system before i can find any of my ships and i’m pretty pissed. now i have to do some gay maneuver to flip cuz i’m prolly never gonna get rid of the executor. i put spiral in front of the executor and some other mofo on cc to flip. oh yeah, it might be important to point out that neither of us have an exterior cc site out so i cant land any ships :-(. anywho, sichta throws some more ships in front of the spiral and battles, we both know im gonna houjix it so we dont bother totaling it all up. sichta’s been playing a bunch of gay hoth cards to get his troopers out so even though he’s totally in control of the game he’s got like half his deck in his lost pile or as some f.uckin broken effect in play. i’ve only got the spiral and a few others in my lost pile so i’ve got a few turn cushion to tunnelvision all my ships into my hand. i get almost everything i think i need and throw it in front of the executor, ten nunb in ship and intruder missle, wedge in ship, dash in ship, but i dont have enough to battle for some reason and they have to sit a turn. sichta plays a lat dam on the outrider at the bespin system and because i’m a f.uckin idiot i dont draw to get rid of it. sichta battles and i power pivot the executor, but it gets cancelled by unsalvageable (which is a really f.uckin bad thing). ten nunb still shoots bossk in bus but it doesnt matter, i have like 20 attrition so everybody dies except the exector and i have to lose 4 more. next turn i try to on the edge everything back with the intruder missle, but sichta’s got some f.uckin unique trooper that subtracts 4 from my edging so i get everything back cept my ships. things are lookin pretty bad now and i have to resort to battling the buttsmuggling troopers on cc. they’re just a bunch of gay helmet heads that all add destinys so my mains are hitting the lost pile left and right and im not doin a whole lot of overflow damage cuz sichta’s drawing fives all over the place. i get one good battle in where luke hits a trooper and i play satm combo to make him lost then take the other trooper for 13, but it’s not enough and sichta wins by 2 because he had the battle order lock and cc occupation.
result: fl by 2
Highs, playing a tuff matchup and almost pulling it out in the end.
lows, losing the first game of the tourny always makes me want to drop.
game 2
mega combat vs Mark "count bunckula" Zoran (1594) LS Combat
marks little brother came to the tournament today dressed up as sichta, it was f.uckin funny as hell. he had a little electrical tape under his nose and on his chin just like sichta’s mustache and little beard. little zoran/sichta also had this ski jacket under a hooded sweatshirt so he looked bigger and it was a f.uckin laff riot.
back to the game
i hate playin combat vs combat cuz the LS usually wins, but lucky for me, mark makes a few mistakes and i can pull it off. mark doesnt’ race so sebulba has it in the bag and mark loses like 5 from it, woo hoo. i get lord maul and his good stick to naboo pretty early and he’s winning combats over yoda like a champ. then quigon comes down and it’s a whole different ball game. except maul takes him out on the second combat cuz mark flips a 1. eventually maul loses a combat to somebody and im fuct cuz i got nobody to replace him right away. it takes me like 3 turns of eating big drains before i get maul back in action on naboo. mark has jedi luke, quigon and yoda at the db, generator, and core, respectively and everybody but luke has a card for combat. maul and stick goes to quigon and i stack a card for maul. mark puts a card on quigon and i move over and combat luke and put him away. next turn i stack a seven on maul and quigon comes over to combat, mark flips 2 sevens but i make him redraw and quigon dies. now it’s just yoda and maul we’re dancin aroudn doin combat after combat for like 6 turns until mark flips a 7 and a 1 and then i win cuz all his jedi are gone.
result, fw by 12???
Highs, beating a LS combat
lows, playing a LS combat and playing against count bunckula who was annoying as hell the whole f.ucking game.
Game 3 qmc vs Darryl "the hutt" Sarna (1645) sichta rops
darryl borrowed decks from sichta and he hasnt played in about a year so this game was pretty short. darryl didnt really care what went on so i got the battle order/menace fades lock on him and we both knew there was no way he’d get me off the bespin system with the ships in his deck. then when i got celebration and pucimer out there was no way he could keep up in the damage and the qmc worked exactly like it should.
result: fw by 23
highs, having a fun game with darryl who’s a cool guy to play a game with cuz he’s all about havin fun and not hung up on playing to win all the time
lows, none, this was a laff and a haff
game 4 mega combat vs Sichta’s rst
this game was pretty bad. sichta was already pissed cuz he has to play me a second time and he knew what i was playin and he doesnt like combat so much. i get a good draw and get maul and stick out to naboo to do some drainging right away and sebulba is racing like a champ. sichta doesnt do too much cept get home one out to the endor system. maul keeps draining and sebulba has a four turn race while sichta gets bad race draws. sichta gets more pissed and i dont know what else happened but he ends up drawing up and win by a lot.
highs, uh mega combat is 2-0
lows, sichta seems to be completely disenchanted with sw now. between the combat objectives as a whole and brangus being dead but not wys, he’s not really excited about playin sw anymore.
game 5 mega combat vs Eric "grimnok" Olson’s RTP that always f.uckin beats me
this is the f.ucking money game. i’ve been obsessing about beating this f.ucking rtp deck for about 8 f.ucking months. f.ucking Olson has been playing this f.ucking deck for so f.ucking long and he always f.ucking beats me with it. either i do something really f.ucking stupid, or my deck f.ucking asses out on me. anyway, i get an okay draw for a change and i got the emperor on naboo draingin for 2, sebulba has a three turn race and olson activated his echo base garrison so he’s already a turn behind. he has to lose the whole six from the race and now maul is out and draining. guigon with stick kills maul before he gets too many drains and that sucks. maul comes out again and so does quigon, but i stack a card on maul and duel quigon with maul strikes before he battles me, HA! after that, the game went to f.ucking hell. olson flipped and started the gay rtp stuff. obi with stick comes out and clears out emperor and janus who both go out of play cuz rtp is f.ucking gay. obi comes out again and hits maul and puts him out of play cuz rtp is f.ucking gay. ig-88 and p-59 and fett try to go kill team leia which consists of leia, orimaarko, 8d8, and an eopie. ig gets fallen portaled and i flip a maul for the shot with p59, gay! olson loses like nothing from the battle and three of my guys get put out of play. olson drains with team leia and i counter assault and draw maul, 5, maul, 5. f.ucking gay!!! what should have been a game ending drain f.ucking sucked @#$% and made olson lose like 3. F.UCK!!! sideous and choke vader finally get rid of leia, but the get put out of play too and my only persona left is xixor. f.ucking gay!!! this game sucks and somehow i lose to f.ucking rtp again!!!
fl by 10???
highs, none, olson has some kind of gypsy curse on me that says i auto lose to f.ucking rtp.
lows, losing to a f.ucking deck that has changed about 6 f.ucking cards in the last 8 f.ucking months. how gay is that!!!
game 6 qmc vs i dont know this guy 1500?? court or something
i was extra lazy in this game and didnt really care what went on. the only thing that motivated me was that i almost got the generic podracer to beat sebulba but i lost 26-25. i was totally in control the whole game but he had one site where he was draining me for 3 at and i didnt care to do anything about it. so i won by 12
highs, the tournament is over, finally, it’s been a while since i played a six gamer and it seemed to take f.ucking forever
lows, having no motivation whatsoever to do my best in this last game. olson has completely crushed my spirit by beating me with that f.ucking gay rtp deck AGAIN!!!
olson finishes first, of course, and i somehow manage second. it doesnt mean anything cuz the prizes kinda sucked, but who cares anyway. after the tourny, me sictha, olson, sarna, and frank amador go out to eat and joke around for a while more. sichta @#$%es some more about the general gayness of most good sw decks and how brangus shouldnt have been killed and how wys should be killed. and how combat shouldnt be around at all and how chief retwin is just a gay f.ucking card all together.
quote of the day: "You are dumb" ---Eric Olson commenting on Frank Amador’s Luminous retrieval engine for his crazy testing, planning, blowing deck.
song of the day: Led Zeppelins Ten Years Gone ---I must have listened to that song like 6 times today on the way to or from Joliet.
props and slops:
props
- to ron for running the tourny
- to all the people who showed up
- to frank amador for testing daughter to five, stacking a seven, completing a death star plans, and then blowing up the death star all in one game. (it’s true!!!)
- to steve kuperman, cuz last time i gave you slops and for some reason a bunch of people gave me bad reviews ;-)
- to olson for winning the tourny
- to the US mens hockey team for beating Finland 6-0 and not playin like a bunch of dumb@#$%s
- to all the people who read this report, you guys are tech!
slops
- to rtp for being the gayest f.ucking objective there is
- to olson for putting a gypsy curse on me to prevent me from beating f.ucking rtp
- to people who put an American Flag on their KIA. There’s nothing more disgusting than seeing the stars and stripes on a korean made car that stands for killed in action. JUST BUY AMERICAN!!!
- to people who drive on the highway with their brights on, wtf is wrong with you!!!
thanks for reading guys, hope you all had a happy valentines day!