vegas-baby-lush-at-the-vegas-dpc
Title: vegas-baby-lush-at-the-vegas-dpc
Author: Matt "Old Skooler" Lush
Date: May 15, 2002
Next, my ex-wife decides to go on vacation herself from the 8th to the 15th, meaning I’ve got custody of my daughter for that week. Crap. Vegas is right in the middle of that, and I can’t really see taking my daughter with me. Granted, she may clean up at the 5-card draw with that tough poker face of hers, but some security guard might get slightly suspicious and card her. So no Father and Daughter Quality Gambling Time trip, I need to roll solo on this one. I presevere, and talk my neighbor Erin into watching Shaun for me while I’m in Vegas. Problem 2 covered.
Next, of course, the Army’s up at bat. Apparently we have some kind of Sports Day crap we have to attend on Saturday the 11th, which means IF I went to Vegas, I obviously wouldn’t be getting there until sometime Saturday night. This really sucks @#$% since if I’m going to VEGAS, I want to spend as much time as possible there. Like Thursday night, Friday, etc., to make the trip worthwhile, so it makes it sort of iffy for me. Despite my best efforts to get out of this Sports Day bull@#$%, I find myself still having to attend it. I do, however, get out of there early Saturday afternoon so I can get down to Austin and get the hell of Texas. I throw a few things into a backpack, including my decks because it’d probably suck if I forgot those, and head off to the airport. I always get my cake and eat it, dammit. "Vegas, baby!!"
I fly from Austin to Dallas, and then from Dallas to Vegas, but while I’m at the Dallas/Ft. Worth airport, I happen to notice a hardback book called "Attack of the Clones" on sale at the airport bookstore. I struggle a bit, trying to keep myself from buying it, but accidently apply some more of the "@#$% it.." attitude, and end up buying it. I need SOMETHING to read on the plane, right? And I had already read Blood and Gold which is what I had brought along to read. Yep. I need something new. I’ll just go ahead and ruin the movie for myself. Shortly thereafter I’m on the way to Vegas. I call Tim from the airplane as soon as it starts taxiing up to the docking bay, um, I mean, the tunnel thingy that bridges the plane to the airport, and he tells me Matt Berta is on the way to pick me up. Coolness. Matt calls me as well a few minutes later and tells me he’s driving a big old brown truck, so I know what to look for. The first thing I see stepping off the plane into the airport is, of course, about 20 or so slot machines right in the middle of the waiting lounge. Yep, this is Vegas... I head out of the airport, and meet up with Berta. "Vegas, baby!!"
Matt Berta turns out to be an eminently cool individual, and I’m floored by all the neon coating the city like an amusement park. The MGM Grand is truly stunning, and I regret not managing to get a picture of it. Totally covered in green, the Grand houses Studio 54, THE club to go to in Vegas. I was planning to hit it that night, but things just didn’t seem to work out that way. I call a few friends to let them know I got there alive, and we eventually arrive at Kool Kollectables to find a mass of people standing around outside the store. Why? They’re watching the final being played out on a rickety table set up on the sidewalk. I see Gabe, make the obligatory comment on how he seems to get around (we were both in Atlanta), and meet a lot of people for the first time such as Tim Guzman and Hayes Hunter, along with others. I also see my boy Jason Kilby who I haven’t seen in three years or so (we raised some Hell at ’98 and ’99 Worlds), and he hands me the four-oh of Mickey’s. I get my drink on, and stand around bull@#$%ting while we wait for Gabe and his opponent to finish. Hayes turns to Berta and says, "Did you tell him?? Did you tell him??", and Berta is like, "Uh, no man, I was saving it for you...", so Hayes proceeds to tell me the McClure/Gay Dudes story. Funny stuff. I’ll let someone else tell it as I didn’t actually see it, I got there too late to watch it go down. Five-O rolls by, stops, and some beefy cop chick heaves her bulk out of the cruiser and glares authoratively at us while her partner gets out on the other side. I put the bottle down, expecting trouble, but they turn out to be not too bad and only give us a slight warning about drinking in public.
After that, Kilby and I hop in the back of Berta’s truck to continue drinking. We’re joined by a few others, and eventually the final is done and we figure out what the hell we’re gonna do. Hayes is too young to get in the clubs, and for some reason doesn’t have a fake I.D., so we say screw it and just head back to the Hilton and break out the cards, after getting some dinner at some restaurant in a random hotel. I play Guzman once, he whips my ass, play Hayes both light and dark, HE whips my @#$% both times, I curse out Korea again, and we head off to go gamble since I’ve obviously played enough SW for the night. Maybe I’ll win at craps since I obviously make with the head at Star Wars. Time for some free alcohol, cards, and dice..."Vegas, baby!!"
We wander around the tables, checking everything out, and after a while I end up on a craps table. Someone hands me some dice, I throw down some $5 chips and start rolling. I know the basics of craps, but there’s a LOT of @#$% on the table that I have no idea what the hell is about. So, I stick with the basics and just roll. I end up on fire and turn five bucks into ninety-five. I’m happy with that, and now I can say I won money at the Vegas DPC! (From a, uh...certain point of view...) Some guy comes up to us afterwards and tells me, "Dude, I won like 150 bucks off of you! You saved my ass, man, I was in the hole $170!" And I’m like, "Cool man, now where’s my cut?" and he’s like "Um, I gotta go...", and I’m like "Whatever.." Why the @#$% did he bother telling me that @#$% if he wasn’t gonna give me a cut??? @#$%er. We hit the Blackjack tables next, and I don’t do too bad at that, but eventually lose 10 dollars. Ah well. It lasted a long time. By this point, I notice the SUN HAS COME UP, and it’s now MORNING. Staggering back to the hotel room with the rest of the crew, I end up crashing in a chair for a whopping two hours, and during this time, Jason Kilby, that homosexual @#$%-eating bone-smuggling twinkle-toed fairy that he is, has someone take pics of him with a rolled up napkin sticking out of his zipper in my face while I’m crashed out in the chair. To add insult to injury, they use MY @#$%ing digital camera. After I wake up, I check my camera, find the picture, and promptly yell, "WHAT THE @#$%?!?!" Everybody has a good chuckle laughing their @#$% off at me, and I’m just relieved Jason didn’t actually become "nuts over me", as I would of then had to do some seriously @#$%ed-up @#$% in return, like call for a male escort for him(keep in mind this is Vegas, I’m sure ANYTHING is available), and tell them on the phone that the customer "likes it rough" and to instruct the escort to "fulfill the customer’s fantasies by forcing themself on him despite his protests of heterosexuality", and give them Jason’s room number. I could deal with a napkin though. I doubt that would end up on ConsumptionJunction anytime soon. And besides, I erased the evidence anyway. @#$%in’ homos. "Vegas, baby!!"
After everyone’s finally ready, we head on out of the Hilton and walk over to the store. Luckily, it’s not too far, only about 15 minutes or so, so we’re not too insanely late. It turns out they haven’t even started the damn thing yet, so it was a moot point anyway. I meet some more people I haven’t met before like Brian Hunter, and see a few people I haven’t seen in years like Clayton Atkins. It was good to catch up with him again and see what he’d been up to. Since I hadn’t eaten in about 12 hours or so, I make the mistake of getting one of the store’s microwaved burgers. This turns out to be a huge mistake, as there is just something inherently wrong with a microwaved burger. They’re kind of like old stale beer...you know it’s going to taste bad, it already SMELLS bad, but you consume it anyway and regret it later like a dumbass. Finally, after about a 45 minute wait or so, the tourney starts. On to the games! Well, at least one of them. Whoops...almost forgot it....."Vegas, baby!!"
I’m playing LS Senate Beats and Huntdown sorta/kinda Beats-but-likes-to-establish-Vader-somewhere-Beats.
The Actual Tourney!
Game One: My LS Senate vs. David Hansen’s YMSYL Deck
David seems to be kind of new to this game, as he forgot to activate first turn. This is the FIRST time I’ve ever been a prick about a game, but I didn’t let him go back and activate. Hey, it’s for money, right? Am I wrong here? I don’t think so. My Senate gets going up quick and I’m all over him as soon as he deploys something. He never really gets set up too much, although he pings me for a few cards with the Walker Occupation card. I’m afraid there’s not too much to this game, EXCEPT.....about halfway through the game, I feel someone tap me on the shoulder, and I turn around to see a large guy wearing a Jedi robe leering at me like he wants me for lunch. "The force is STRONG with YOU, my young friend, and I have something for you!", he says with a wink as he reaches into his robe....I’m about to draw my fist back but he doesn’t bring out what I thought he was gonna bring out, but instead hands me an ECC Chewie pack. I’m like, "Uh...thanks man. That’s very cool of you. Appreciate it." He grins knowingly at me and walks off. I just shake it off and go back to playing the game. (In actuality I shouldn’t dis the guy like that, that was pretty nice of him to give me a free ECC pack like that. He was just weird about it...)
Full Win by 29.
Game 2: My...wait! No game 2! At least not yet. Why? We have to move. They’re kicking us out of the @#$%ing store for some reason. Tim, being the resourceful guy that he is, manages to secure us a location to play at in his friend’s house. The "house", however, is more like a cabin. A large cabin. A large log cabin. A large log cabin with an assload of antiques and old furniture in it, and life-size plastic cows with saddles on them outside on the porch, not to mention plenty of dead animal heads hanging from the walls. Umm...."Vegas, baby?" Despite the, uh, unique surroundings, there is enough room to play on with the tables and chairs that are brought from the store that kicked us out. Eventually, names are called for the second game. My opponent is some long-haired hippy guy who seems to be well-known for some reason.
Game 2: My Hunt Down vs. Brian Hunter’s LS Senate
Hot damn. First Clint Hayes in Atlanta, now the Numero Uno ranked SW guy in the world. Good stuff. I try not to let him phase me and just play a good game. I don’t remember too much from this one either, as I’m still sort of slightly hungover and tired, but I do know I couldn’t get Vader out to save my ass. Brian gets a beatdown on Maul by Qui-Gon, and hits me for 12 overflow I think. I was expecting the beatdown, and had a Ghhk combo card in hard with the plan to take the hit and then return the favor next turn. With a hand of about 11 cards, he uses the Objective text and sends....you guessed it....my Ghhk back along with some other card. Ruh-roh Reorge. I was thinking, "What are the odds?" Stupid question to ask in STAR WARS, I guess. I still haven’t found a Vader, but I’ve lost two to the lost pile from the beatdown, a Darth Vader and a DLOTS. Brian plays an OOC. This is where I @#$% up, apparently. I fan my cards out, and Brian picks one. Premiere Vader! Well @#$%. There goes the game...HD without Vader? Going to be rough. I also show a bit of noobness here as I wasn’t aware people can identify Premiere cards from others by the backs...after Hayes told me that’s exactly what Brian probably did, I asked Hunter myself, and he told me, "Yes, I picked a Premiere card." And I’m like, "@#$% man, that’s @#$%ed up." I thought about it there though, and I can’t really complain as they’re MY cards! I simply should of done what everyone else does and told him to pick a number, then count that many cards down. Ah well...lesson learned the hard way. Brian establishes in space, taking out my Chimera with Thrawn on it by adding to his destiny, and just slowly finishes me off from there. A good game that just proved frustrating like the game against McClure’s Senate in Atlanta, as they both played the Senate EXTREMELY well.
Full Loss by 24.
Game 3: My LS Senate vs. Joel Massie’s Hunt Down
Excellent game...Joel knew how to abuse one of the best combos in the game...Maul with a double-bladed stick and that S.O.B. Dr. E. I get Senate set up early for once, and realizing that attacking that combo with two characters would be really stupid, just attack the Emperor, Lord Maul armed with his two-sided stick, and Dr. E with Qui-Gon alone. I wipe out all his guys by hitting his Palpy with the swing while adding to my destiny with a Senator and Amidalia to take care of Maul and his leetle friend. I do that twice actually, but he eventually builds up enough where I can’t hang anymore. I run out of EPP’s for a bit, and actually have the goddamn Wookie senator running around being a pain in the ass, as I find a Luke, but can’t drop and battle his renewed Maul/Dr.E force again cuz he’ll take out Luke and leave the wook to get bent over. I was kinda force choked, as Joel gave me maybe one or two icons, and he just played it smart and took down my guys. I was SERIOUSLY hurt in this game by losing Plea To The Court to Visage on the second turn. If I had managed to get that out, I could of dealt with his drains of 3 or 4 with Maul’s Stick and hammered him when I had what I needed as opposed to frantically trying to stop the damage. That’s the way it goes, though. There’s always "if this happened..." or, "if I had done THAT...", so I just take the loss and move on.
Full Loss by 19.
Game 4: Hunt Down vs. Steve "BlackViper" Marshall’s Hidden Base
This was a fun game, as highlights include Steve losing a critical system to Visage early on, and playing a blind On The Edge to get it back. Too bad I didn’t pull out the CHYBC shield out earlier...he would of never of flipped. As it was, he got it back and eventually flipped, while I harassed him early on from the start with Suckass in Mist Hunter. He hangs in there though, and slowly builds up some space force. Turning point in the game was when he dropped EPP Qui to try and knock out Lord Vader. He misses the swing, and I decline to draw destiny and lose four cards to battle damage. My turn, activate an assload, drop Super Boba and Maul to Vader’s site and proceed to beat down Qui. I missed on the swing I think, but didn’t care as I knew my three last destinies were huge...a 6, 5, and a 5. That pretty much sealed the game, as I just whittle away at him from there. By the way, Steve practices what he preaches, as he’s a tracking fool. Not only did he track his decks, but he tracked around MY deck as well and called out when I’d hit somebody or not. He seemed surprised that I didn’t know what I was going to draw, but at that point in the game I figured I had it and didn’t give a rat’s @#$% about tracking.
Full Win by 20.
Game 5: LS Senate vs. Marinko Pavic’s Watto
Arrgggh, I figure I should have this as he gives up two force to me, but he plays excellent and hits me with two force loss off the bat. Watto’s good for quick damage...I’ve got an assload of EPP’s and a Jedi Resilience in my starting hand, so instead of setting up Senate I try to take it to him quick, knocking out Wattos and Blizzard 4’s. I’ve got Horox in hand but no other Senators, but finally get a MOTR. Grab Palpy, and set up in the Senate. Marinko plays it very smart, and bides his time setting up the Executor at Tatooine, as I’m not doing too much damage to him. I’ve got stuff to handle his space, but need to take care of the ground first, and just never really get it taken care of as he just keeps on bringing on the power...I eventually wax all his Wattos, but he drops Tatooine Occupation on me. I try to beat it by knocking everyone out on the ground as opposed to facing the Executor in space, as I’ve lost the destiny adder Politcal Effect, and can’t find Lando, Pimp to save my ass. I can’t knock him off the ground though completely and the Occupation just wears me down.
Full Loss by 20.
Game 6: Hunt Down vs. John Baril’s "This deck SUCKS" deck
Hey, that’s his name for it, not mine...apparently it lost all three games he played with it. 24, 26, an 28 I think. I got him by 26. He started with Obi’s Hut and played Mindful of the Futures to get his sites, as soon as he played one to get the Moisture Farm, I raised an eyebrow and promptly dug out the Code Clearance shield. John thought perhaps I had overheard him discussing his deck, but I don’t scout, and it seems pretty damn obvious to me that if you’re playing the Moisture Farm, you’re playing Harvest. Why else would you put out a site that gives plus one to your opponent’s weapon draws? At any rate, I establish Vader at a BG DB, while Sidious @#$%s around with him on Tatooine, deploying to the Farm and moving over to the Hut. I sense his later Mindful Of The Futures, and the Moisture Farm is about the only site he gets out. Force choked like that, I just pound on his JK Luke armed with a stick and Proficiency with Sidious, Boba, and Iggy. 4 destiny will knock out ANY Jedi. He gets a Harvest, but I’ve got too much stuff preventing it, like the CHYBC Shield and Secret Plans, so pulling out the Code Clearance shield was a complete waste. It didn’t matter though, as even though John didn’t like his deck, I enjoyed playing it, as it was all about the big guns. John was also a very cool guy who took the loss graciously, and I enjoyed talking to him, as he’s into history like me.
Full Win by 26.
So I go 3-3, which sucks ass, but it’s all good as the tourney is finally over and now we can get back to enjoying VEGAS, BABY! Hayes, myself, McClure, Kilby, Berta, and a few others head off to go get something to eat. We hit Crack-in-the-Box and load up on Jumbo Jacks, along with a few to take back for some of the people back at the cabin. A quick stop at a convience store to grab a case of Bud and some six-packs of...Sky Blue? Berta! What the hell were you thinking?? There was no chicks there! Stick with the beer, pal. We get back to the cabin and start playing quarters while the final goes on. It’s Hayes, Tom McGee, Berta, Kilby and I starting off, and Kilby proves to be disgustingly good at the game. I’m doing pretty good with the warm-up, but when we actually start playing I can’t hit the shot glass for @#$%. Ah well. We eventually get tired of quarters and Kilby breaks out a deck of regular cards and lays out this Memory-style game for us which turned out to be pretty @#$%ing cool. Each person gets 8 cards, and you memorize them then lay them face down in front of you. 15 more cards are laid out in the middle of the table in a triangle fashion, and flipped over one at a time. If a 3 is flipped over, and you’ve got a three, you can tell someone to drink. If they call bull@#$% on you, and you show them a 3 in your row, they gotta drink double. If you DON’T have a 3 though, YOU drink double. Great game, and real easy to play. Simply keep it real for long enough to make your opponents think you NEVER bluff, then start bluffing. Tom? Hayes? Berta? I never had any 10’s...heh. We bull@#$% for a while with that, and the final finally ends, by that point I don’t even care who won, but of course as you all know by now it was Brian who took it all. Congrats to him for winning TWO Vegas DPC’s. I’d say that’s pretty damn impressive.
We clean up the cabin a bit and roll back to the Hilton. More card games and hijinks ensue, and Berta heads home to change for the club and grab some more beer. He comes back and we help dimish the supply, then head out in his truck to Studio 54. We get to the Grand, and....it’s closed!! @#$%!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It’s closed on Sundays and Mondays!! Goddammit!!!! We try another place, I forget the name, but that’s closed too, and we eventually find out that the House of Blues is open, so we take a tram over there. $20 bucks to get in the place because some Billy-Badass DJ is playing there that night, but it’s Vegas so I don’t care. Not like I haven’t payed $20 to get into a place before. Being Vegas of course, the club was the shizznit, with many women around being preyed upon by the lounge lizards. Berta and I get a beer and head down to the dance floor to check things out. I polish off the beer and play the eye contact game with this one hottie blonde. She comes over and starts dancing in front of me, so we dance a bit and then I go to get another beer. Talk to her for a bit, find out she’s from Chicago, and then she asks how long I’m in Vegas for. I look at my watch and laugh...my flight leaves in 2 1/2 hours. So I’m like, "2 and half hours...guess I’ll catch you later...nice meeting ya...". I mean, what’s the point? I tell Berta we should head back and just hang out with the rest of the guys before I have to go to the airport, and he agrees. After politely declining the offer to buy some Ecstasy from two undercover cops, we head out and roll back to the Hilton. A short while later, Matt drops me off at the airport and my trip to Vegas has come to an end. I’ve had two hours sleep since Friday night, and it’s Monday morning. So...I sleep on the plane to L.A. I sleep in the terminal during my layover for the flight to Austin. I sleep on the plane to Austin. I sleep in the car as one of my picks me up from the airport and we head back to Ft. Hood. But I can’t wait to go there again. I only scratched the surface...."VEGAS, BABY!!!"
Props!
Tim Guzman, for arranging for me to be picked up.
Matt Berta, for actually picking me up and taking me back, not to mention clubbing with me.
Hayes Hunter, for being cool as @#$%.
Brian Hunter, for winning the thing.
Jason Kilby, for hooking me up with the forty and all the other drinks.
The long-haired mulleted dude who helped me figure out what the hell I was doing at the craps table.
Vegas, for being Vegas!
Decktech, for doing the DPC thing.
Everybody who had a hand in making the Las Vegas DPC happen. Thanks people.
Andy McClure, for providing humourous entertainment with the Gay Dudes story.
Slops!
Kimberly, for getting the phrase "Vegas, Baby!!" stuck in my head when I haven’t even SEEN "Swingers", for chrissake.
The store, for kicking us out. What was the deal with that?
Jason Kilby, for the napkin thing. You bastard. And don’t forget to send me my Oaks, man! See you in Seattle hopefully.
Hayes Hunter, for freaking me out with the "bread game" story. I’m not going into detail about THAT one...
The undercover cops for trying to @#$% Berta and I over.
The L.A. Airport BK Lounge for charging my @#$% 7 @#$%ING dollars for a goddamn breakfast combo meal.
Anybody who could of made it and didn’t. You suck. And you missed out.
"VEGAS, BABY!!!"