strippers-drunks-towels-and-cards
Title: strippers-drunks-towels-and-cards
Author: Alan "admiraldenny" Denny
Date: Jul 19, 2002
Sorry it has taken me so long to get to this but d*mn I had to recover. On July 11th I had to fly back from Orlando and that gave me two days before the DPC. I get a call that morning from my wife letting me know that my brand new truck had been stolen, Woo Hoo. I get to the airport and my flight is delayed many many hours, because of some crap about a problem in DC. I finally touch down in Houston on Friday morning about 10am. I catch a cab back to the house because I have found out that my wife has an ingrown toe-nail the size of a quarter and we are going to have to take her to the doctor. So I go run all my errands including getting a rental car and I finally get to Strike Zone a little after 6pm. Luckily for everyone I had gotten the hotel rooms before I got to Strike Zone so here we go.
As you read this please be aware that a few naughty things happened and they will be here as this will incorporate all weekend. So if you have a week stomach just hit your back button.
I get to Strike Zone and find out Brian Hunter and his crew are in from Colorado, The McClure boys are in from Alabama, there are people from Louisiana, and all over Texas. The first two items up on the agenda were the local Friday Night Magic Booster Draft, and the Lord of The Rings Early Bird. We get started with the Friday night magic which had 12 and we have about 15 for LOTR. I do not have a bunch of information about the magic games because while judging the LOTR the magic was over pretty quickly and the guy who won had somewhere else to be. The LOTR had a few of the local players, but mostly a large out of town group. The Alabama crew came in and wrecked havoc early. I was really expecting at least one of my local player to come in and smack some people around. I find out later they are all using new decks they had not played before. After five grueling rounds Andy McClure has earned a free ride into the LOTR DPC. Now I can head back to the motel for some sleep.
HOURS WITHOUT SLEEP 39
Props:
Andy McClure for winning
Slops:
The ratings point drop Michael, Giang, and Tad are going to take
The magic guy for taking off on me
The jack wad who stole my truck … what a way to get started
Well I get back to the hotel and Hunter and the guys are all in their room, and the Austin group has taken over my room. It is now well after 1 in the morning and I am go back and forth talking and BSing with everyone. These two girls walk up and it is kind of funny that we are all staring at them. One is kind of cute and the other is the size of a tractor trailer. A few of us are standing outside Hunters room and a undercover cop (along with a not so undercover cop) walks up the stairs and asks us who is staying here I tell him we all are and we are told to go to our rooms. Now we are not being loud or anything so we figure they are after someone else. A few minutes later we look out the window and there are a few more cop cars around. Nick Jimison walks out to smoke a cigarette and there low and behold is a tractor trailer handcuffed to the railing. A little later Nick goes down to the vending machines that are stacked with munchies and condoms, and some really nice guy with a black eye asks him if he wants to buy some Hydro … he tells the guy there are cops everywhere and the guys says "they don’t bother me you want it or not." I try to lay down and get some sleep but it aint happening. I get 2 minutes here and four minutes there … but dang Robbie Hendon is in the room and he is funny as heII but he never shuts up =0). I get up out of the bed … its 6:45 now and I jump in the shower. I get ready and head to Wal-mart to look for a new timer (mine got stolen at the last tourney) I get to Strike Zone and I am running on RED BULL and adrenaline. Time to start the big games.
HOURS WITHOUT SLEEP 48
Props:
The cops for saving our lives from the tractor trailer that John Contreras kept stairung at
Slops :
The cops for being a putz
To the Austin guys for never shutting up =0)
People start showing up before the store opens for the Magic $1000 tournament and the ever coveted free Young Jedi Sealed Deck. I don’t know many of the magic players and the few that I do know are whining about the fact that there deck is the bomb and how their mothers made them bathe the night before. In retrospect their decks were the bomb because everyone playing type II right now is playing the same dang thing. After looking at the deck lists it is amazingly true. The magic tournament gets underway with 36 players and I will check back.
The Young Jedi gets started and it is a little unusual. A couple of guys that used to play SWCCG show up to play … (I hadn’t seen them in like three years) as well as a slew of kids and Brian Wright. Now all the kids had played before and that is why they were there. The guys over the age of 10 had never played and had about 20 minutes to actually learn the game. This whole tournament had two weird things happen. First one of the five year olds that played Brian (and beat him badly) was cheating by drawing destiny and then taking it in to hand before showing it to him … he kept telling him it was a six. Second the same kid after beating Brian went back to what he had been doing all morning … coloring in his attack of the clones coloring book .
The magic tournament was going steadily and ended kind of early. As the four gentleman who made it into the final four, a suggestion was made. Now I have no idea who made the suggestion, but somebody suggested they just split the money four ways and everybody wins. I said cool Thanks, see you all tomorrow at the Type I tourney. I’m sorry for the lack of luster on the magic parts of this but I really don’t know many of these guys and all my focus was on the people I knew who were playing LOTR and Wars. Samuel Friedman, John Coley, Jack Vassullo, Chris Connor all walked away with $150.00 each.
As 2pm rolled around all of the solid Lord of the Rings started to show up. I saw my top local guys as well as all the hard completion from the previous night. After talking to my local guys they had assured me they would not be playing the same untested deck they played the night before. As everyone started to get ready the McClure boys came in and someone else. Now I must say in this kids defense that shock factor is appealing to some players. Shawn Martin came in wearing a Burger King crown up-side down, swim goggles, and what can only be described as his mothers leopard skin panties; all on his head of course. The tournament went on really with out any type of problems. We had players who knew what they were doing so all I had to do was keep order and fill out score cards, O no I didn’t I had Robbie Hendon helping me judge so I had to relax … he he he. Ole Skooler and hoostino came strolin in wanting a room key ... thats Matt and Justin for you who don’t know. I told them we would hook up later.
The only thing I saw that was bizarre is true sportsman like conduct. Michael Leitner was playing Shawn Martin in a crucial game. Martin had already moved and then realized he forgot to play a card. Michael let him go back and replay the card. Now most people would be saying that is crazy and I agree, but everyone who knows Michael knows that is the kind of guy he is. The card Shawn played was O’ Elbereth, Gilthoniel and it cost Michael the game and kept him out of the finals. When all was said and done It was only Texas players in the finals woo hoo. Tad Conaty who had won the West Texas TOC a few weeks before took his first DPC victory. 2nd place was Conor Brace, 3rd place was Giang Do, and fourth was Michael Friedman. Now one thing that did upset me was (and I won’t mention names) someone from Alabama complaining about someone in the final who was a worse player and that they have the strongest region of LOTR in the country … that was uncalled for and you may be a great player but you have a sihtty attitude.
As the LOTR was ending a few people rolled in for the first ever Star Wars TCG DPC event. There unfortunately were only four players and that included the judge. The whole thing was also uneventful as Brian Hunter took the win and won another DPC.
Props:
Michael Leitner for letting Shawn take his move back
Brian Hunter winning another DPC event
Slops:
Shawn for wearing that crap
Brian Wright getting schooled by pre-schoolers
We all headed back for what I was hoping would be some sleep.
HOURS WITHOUT SLEEP 65
As we get back to the hotel everyone is ready to head out for some party time. I guess I had forgotten that I told everyone I would take them out for some Houston Night Life. I told everyone that I had the strip club where I have the hook-up; but it was an hour away and no one wanted to drive that far. So myself, Justin Warren, Matt Lush, Brian Hunter, and Tom McGee hop in my hottie mobile and head for the action. After hearing Matt’s request to find Anna Nicole Smith I tell him about the club where she got her start; and he starts frothing at the mouth. We get to this lovely establishment and we all head in where Underage HOOSTINO is holding out his ID … what is that about? Justin looks older than my grandma and here he is saying please card me. So after were told to take our bottle feeder home and change his diaper we head out … AGAIN! I speak of a place where the age to get in is 18 and it is BYOB. On the road there we get in the most funniest of conversations about towely from South Park … apparently Tom and Mr. Garrison are very close and he proceeds to lesson us all on this. Tom and Brian do wonderful renditions from South Park and then it comes to me ... its a Colorado thing. We stop at a store and pick some liquid nourishment... the guys have apparently never bought beer through a tiny window before. We get to the club and it is Fantasy Palace. After wading through Lake Fantasy in the parking lot we get in and find three chairs over in the club … yah there are five of us so what!!! Now across the club Matt and I see the same "Anna type" girl. She is a hottie with hooters the size of my head. Now after about 15 minutes she comes over and joins us; and to the disgusted look on Matts face she plops in my lap. I tell her I would love some company and she says we can head to the VIP after she beats the crap out of some poor bachelor smuck on stage, with his own belt no less. Now I won’t tell all the pleasantries I received; but, I know several laws were broken that the HPD Vice Squad would like to know about. Apparently when the girl throws her close outside the doo that is the clue for the managers to not come it because she is breaking the law. As we finish she tells me "I never do this, I have never done this before, dont tell anyone" As we come out Matt grabs her and heads for the same place. As I am sitting there with the guys I tell them of my exploits and finally Matt comes out. Matt starts to brag he got her number … when does a home phone start 1-900- … anyway. I have to remind Matt that yah it was great for him … but how did I taste … apparently like the filling of a Twinkie. As Matt and I compare stories she told us surprisingly similar stories, never done that before ... yah right. Again Matt gets something tainted … this time it is “Tainted After Alan Stripper.” We head back to the hotel and realize we are all hungry. A bite at the local Taco place … and we crash. I actually get 4 hours sleep …..YES The teasing to Mr. Lush continues through the remainder of the weekend.
Props :
Enjoying the stripper before Matt
Partying with a great group of guys
Slops:
The slop Matt got
$25 into a strip club
Well I wake up and realize that this was the day I was waiting for.
Magi-Nation started real slow and the judge was a really nice guy. The bad thing was is that he took off before he told me who won or anything. I was not real happy about that.
The Magic Type I took off with 15 players with Samuel Friedman taking first and Bart Brown taking second.
The game I have loved since it came out and now I am getting to judge this huge event. SWCCG IS THE BOMB. I love this game. We get started at noon , and should have been earlier but everyone was running late and no one was going to have to play on the sidewalk or in a cabin no matter how late it got. Before we started we went all out on the card unsalvageable. Would it stop a patrol craft with a raider on board? After many rules lookings and debates no it doesn’t … boy would that have screwed all the WYS decks. Matt made a few announcements relating to the cash he was going to give out and it was time to start. The first few rounds were really uneventful accept for one thing Michael Richards got paired with his Dark Side against Brian Hunter. Now everyone who knows Mike’s deck knows how nasty it is, Invasion can be broken. I really expected Mike to take this victory. Brian ended up taking the win and and never stopped. The Matt Lush Invitational as it had been referred to was going smoothly with neither Matt nor myself having to front any cash through game 4. That was about to change. In game five Andy McClure stepped up and took a win from Matt to deplete us of our $70. Unfortunately when the dust had settled Matt’s two timed wins kept him from being in the top four. I also nearly had to put a beat-down on Carl Thompson. I found out later he had been taking Xanax and beer all day and by the end of game six he was stupid drunk. There was no way to DQ him since the tourney was over and he was not in the top four. Bad man real Bad. I made a mistake about his differential and he was all wanting to kick a$$ and take names. Bad man real Bad.
Well Brian “Huntawarya” Hunter and Justin “Hoostino” Warren had made their way in as first and second place. Tom McGee edged in at third and Chris McClure edged his differential a few points to head out Lush for fourth.
Brian and Justin ate up their opponents quickly and it was now time for two machines to sit down and play. Best in the world and Best in Texas the show down. Before they started Tom and Chris played to determine the third place victor. Chris was on top for a moment with his EBO jawas but Tom came back with his DS Dagobah clouds … not sure how, but they dead tied. Now Justin had lost the first game by 24 and was trying to make a come back in game two. His light side was doing heavy retrieval but could not sustain the direct loss from Hunters DS (I promised I wouldnt say what Hunter was playing. All in all they were both very well played games and the only mistake I saw was Justin forgetting to drain in the last game. I sooo love this game.
I hope everyone had a great time and I cant wait to do it all again.
Maddest Props:
Neal for giving me DPC HOUSTON
Strike Zone for staying as late as we needed
Props:
My wife for having no problem with my exploits
The stripper satisfaction of me before Matt
Brian and his crew coming from Colorado … cause he wanted to see Texas
Everyone who came in from out of town
Matt for not costing me too much money
Everyone for making this a heII of a weekend
Slops:
Shawn Martin for wearing panties on his head
The cops at the hotel
For anyone who was unsportsman like
To who ever did not draw up and made Matt have two timed wins
Maddest Slops:
The jack Wad who stole my cards
The jack Wad who stole my truck
Later everyone … Gen Con here we come
Alan